Jamie Fox and Katie Holmes

Looks to me Jamie has strong feelings for Katie.

 

Based on all the other women he's rumored to have been seeing, I'd conclude otherwise lol.

But then again, there has to be some reason they've been hanging around each other this long.

 

But do we really want to know?

 

That's immaterial, right? They go way out of their way to make sure we *don't* know, whether we want to or not lol.

 

It's pretty wild, but when money is involved, all bets are off.

 

I used to look at marriage as entering a contract and divorce as ending the contract.

Now I see that you're pretty much replacing one contract with another.

On another note, if your woman doesn't say that she wants everything to stay the same when you get married. You probably shouldn't do it. lol

 

People change, buddy. You aren't who you were 5 to 10 years ago. You will change again in 5 to 10 years. The current state of marriage and divorce doesn't account for that. So, you can say, "I want things to stay the same", but the reality is that is virtually impossible, with or without a marriage.

 

I was referring to how people look at things differently when different words are used. Say you have an FWB that everything is good with soon as the word "girlfriend" is used she expects something different. Same with the wife upgrade.

I don't see it being healthy unless both are currently pleased enough to say their partner already does what's expected of a husband or wife.

With marriage, most people seem to expect their partner to "change" into a role when they should have been meeting expectations beforehand.

 

The funny thing about marriage is, I find many women expect marriage to change their men. Meanwhile, many men expect their wives not to change after their marriage. They both end up very disappointed in the outcome, lol.

 

That's the old cliché: women marrying hoping he'll change, men marrying hoping she'll stay the same. They too often both end up disappointed.

 

I had a couple of interesting agreements in my divorce. Sometimes it's necessary when there are businesses and/or children involved.

You can make all sorts of agreements in divorce. Judges will even agree to most (if the parties are in agreement) even at times when it's not legal. For example, my ex offered to continue covering me on his medical insurance. The judge signed it. That's great but the insurance companies don't allow it in CA, even though his employer was ok with it (in his case they pay a significant part too). It would have had to be an additional policy. I could have had him do that too, but I didn't.

 

This is one of those things that you can't know until it happens. I have a good friend who had a great relationship going and then they got married and the night they got married he came out of the bathroom at 9 and said it was time to go to sleep when they both had been night owls forever. He had all sorts of ideas about how things were when you were married, and then when you have kids.

On the change thing - that's an ongoing thing...people will change no matter what. However, women, in general, do the whole potential thing and think they can "train" or mold a man into what they want. Ridiculous.

 

I was just thinking people on the outside may not necessarily honor some of these arrangements. In the case of Amazon, had it been a regular Joe, they may have just said only the owner can cast votes for a given stock and not be bothered with it.

 

Well then I guess he would just get a POA.

 

Lmao what?? Dude was weird AF. Lol

 

That'd only be the case if the regular Joe had regular lawyers. It's the attorney firepower that can really make a difference. And I've seen the occasional "regular" person get smart/lucky and spend all their cash on the right lawyer. They tend to do pretty well. Still, I get your point.

 

Crazy thing is, people often don't even realize the expectations they have for marriage. They're so ingrained and natural-seeming that it's not even something they think about.

 

Yep, old, but still applies, lol. One thing that I find odd, is that when you get married, you are putting your relationship in the hands of the state and legal system. I can completely understand the tax benefits/co-parenting benefits if you plan on having children. But, I can't quite understand why black men, who have no intention of having children, decide to get married. Having children or not, you take a big risk considering that the state and legal system are generally against you as a black man. I also found it odd that so many women don't consider the risk a brotha takes in getting married, when factoring the likelihood of divorce. Oh well.

 

There's usually a way to get things done.

 

I was just having this conversation with a 41 year old man I know who has decided to get married. I asked why? He said because his long term gf feels like it gives them more social valididation (WTF?!) There won't be any more chlldren, they've both been married and divorced both have kids and are done with that. They all have benefits - the kids are all double covered, so that's not anything that will make a difference. Oh and they have an open relationship. He tossed out the tax thing. I think that's a lame reason - there are other ways to get tax breaks. So, I said - ok so basically you are going to get married because of her insecurities? smh

Let's be real here, marriage is business. Sometimes there are benefits in doing it, others there are not.