Is your attraction exclusively toward ww/bm?

Within the context of that it sounds like making good relationship choices does it not? If they are looking for a multi-millionaire or something of the sort that is different. Mostly young women be on that though. I knew an older ww that helped her now husband get back on his feet, she met him when he really didn't have it all "together" to be dating, but they got along great enough for that to not matter. He didn't want to ask her out because of that, so she decided to take the initiative. That should be noted that when you click with someone all that matters is how you get along with that person you also find yourself attracted to. Hopefully one day she will let me post a picture, but I mentioned on here before that my GF resembles Bella Hadid. Never in my years I thought she would be into me, especially a man in his 40s. I mean she is BEAUTIFUL. We met at the dentist office twice where she was the receptionist and started just casually talking while I waited to go in and then met a third time at our local grocery store and began a relationship from there.

 

I'm not saying they aren't different. I'm just saying though that women in their 30s who have it together and don't have children are NOT going after a guy with a couple of kids, possible mama drama, etc.

 

Happy to hear that but that's the exception not the rule fam. Science is real and we are social creatures in a constant struggle of social heirarchy and basic survival

 

We've gone through this conversation on here many times in many threads. If it's really so great to find a woman in a different country...they why not do it? Just like there are women in the US who don't subscribe to materialism, there are lots in other countries who are wanting Americans because they think they (and their family) are going to be taken care of. Get real....there are certain things that are part of human beings. The need for stability and security are real, that's not unique to the US.

 

Depends on his stature. If he's financially at her level or below I totally agree but if he's a good standard deviation or two above her she just might put up with it

 

Yeah but materialism and consumerism to the level in which we engage these things is very unique to this country. Yes there are women who don't care about that here but few and far in between especially when dating. Dating is now shopping for the best you can bargain for it has very little to do with connection. The swipe left and swipe right microwave culture has seen to that.
Sorry if you don't see it but many women in other countries don't grow up with the same level of materialism, yes shitty people exist everywhere but lets not pretend there are levels to this shit.

 

Oh I agree. There are all sorts of things that factor in. Just like it does for a man. He's going to weigh the variables and decide. Sometimes it's worth it for him to take on children, etc. It all depends on what each person is bringing. Different people place higher value on different things.

Think about this...how about all the women who walked away from workaholic husbands, big money, large homes, etc wanting/needing something different/more than all the material things.

 

We've got some generation differences going on here. I think you will find that more and more the same (and worse) is becoming the way it is in other countries too. Gotta do what works for you though.

 

You know TDK it's a bit tough to take you seriously when you get on the soap box about the evils of materialism and consumerism (especially with women) when you are right in there going for all of that.

 

Wait. How so?

 

Nothing wrong with it...you seem to be in that mode though where you'r primary focus is getting everything you can. I really think that's a normal thing at your point in life. And, it's much better/easier to do it at this point before kids and all.

I just don't get why you will get on such a big kick about women who are focused in that way. I mean I get it if they are acting like they should sit around and not do anything to contribute, improve themselves, or the situation. But if they are going after it, just like you are...what's the issue?

I do get what you are saying about frustrations with those you come across. I have my moments when I definitely think it's best to NOT get involved with a man who's raised in California culture (the whole new money fascination, shallow bs, priorities jacked up, etc) But then I also think it's important to take a look at ourselves if we are continuing to come up against the same things over and over again. There may be something to shift in ourselves.

 

There are lots of women out there who have or will do this. Most of us have been through some things and we know how it can go. Older were also usually raised to be there and help build (or build back up). Unfortunately, sometimes that gets taken advantage of too. I've been burned myself to the point where I don't know how much I'm willing to do it again.

 

I think - if males are just going to go for the hottest looks, then they shouldn't be surprised when they aren't getting the substance, priorities, quality they are wanting.

If females are just concerned with the money and stuff then they shouldn't be surprised when they aren't getting substance, priorities, and the qualities they are wanting.

 

Yet they are, lol.

 

The difference is those kind of women expect someone else to supplement their wants needs and desires. They don't want just a partner they want a parent. And like I've said numerous times on here it doesn't have to be my personal situation for me to notice it. I am in a great relationship knock on wood, with a person who is nurturing loving and beautiful inside and out. But me being with her doesn't take away from what I see. Just because I eat everyday and have a roof over my head doesn't mean I can't see all the homeless going through their struggle.

 

I think it will be interesting to see how things go as time goes on.

We're in an interesting time. Many people want all the old school values but aren't prepared or interested in really doing what it takes.

I think often times you speak to things as they are the way it is or it's the majority. I get it's what you see. But that also could be clouded by the environment you choose to be in, work in, etc. Also, the types you often speak about are going to be the ones who are most noticeable.

 

What I observe is that it seems like everyone tries to get as much out of everybody else, without giving themselves. It is a hopeless situation.

 

Well off topic here but i personally always been sort of "different" out of the normal black men. But ive always attracted and being attracted to white and latin women mostly white women. Why because white women have always been nice to me and always called me "cute" or "handsome" (thats up to the ladies on here to decide) but still white women have been a weakness of mine, latinas too. But white women are in my main sight and ill take what i can get

 

Ya know I had that attitude until recently. Sure I'll date a Latina woman now and then but really I went on a few dates with black women just to kinda stress test myself see if I truly was exclusive to white women and the dates were fine. (One was bad but the other two were pretty solid) and I got done with them and just felt no sexual attraction. I knew they were beautiful women who I could have fun with and be good friends with but I just don't have that desire in me. As I get older and learn myself more and more I realize that when it comes to dating I'm just all in on white women.

 

I could say the same regarding black men for me.

(I just realized I never really answered the main question on this thread)