is it genetically impossible to be faithful to one person

people say it is impossible for a person ( especially men) to be faithful. Do you believe that ?

is being faithful a choice or are you doomed from the beginning

 

Hnmans are gifted with a brain - YOU ultimately make the dicissions, not your genes.
Its a cop-out imo.

 

jada pinkett will agree with you on that one. she pretty much said the samething. she also added i have to do my part in the relationship to have that person say they are doing their best.

 

During my party last night we had a very interresting debate about gender roles etc.

One of my friends who has been married for 16 years said that many married women forget to be a girlfriend once they are married. and vice versa too of course but as men are more visual than us it might be more important to do the little things we do.

I have never been married, but I have been in very long relationships and I always keept up the "shiieeettt".. I could meet him at the door in sexy underwear all made up - with no place to go, but the bedroom.
Stuff like that to keep up the heat and fight off the mundane-ness.
Heck, we even had sex in a restaurant bathroom after dating 6 years - our sex life never slowed down it was crazy, but we both went out of our way to keep up the heat and surprise eachother and tease and "date". It was always new and fresh.

I think all women in the room agreed that women have to keep that up once married or we are entering dangerous places - we need to understand that men are visual and take our responsibility in that department seriously.

We only spoke about our responsibilities in marriages, obviously they do too, but that wasnt the discussion last nite.

 

I believe in a certain time people are sexually attracted to each other. Afterwards you have to find a solution for sexuality..

 

lippy rarely does this...CO-SIGN:smt045

 

OH! Thank you Lippy! I appreciate that!!!

I 100% believe us women can not forget that.. we need to keep it up.

That X Im talking about - even after 6 years, we could go on dinner dates and just tease eachother through the dinner to the point we were both horny as hell, but keep dragging it longer just to tease - that lead to some explosive sex once back home..

So I really believe in our responisbility on that department.

 

it's not really a cop out. I think the act is natural the lying and deceit is a cop out. Again I have to go to numbers on this. If men wanting multiple partners and acting on that was a localized event I'd agree it's a cop out but it happens so often you'd have to agree that it's more than just weak will.
I think a lot of women don't want to admit that monogamy is something we do because we love you. Monogamy is something you guys do because you love us and it's in your nature. We go against our nature to make you happy.

 

well in addition to staying the girlfriend in the relationship after years it also sounds like you do a good job of maintaining yourself and your connection with your mate. i think another reason things fall apart for people is they lose connection with each other. i mean we're all going to change over time. we learn new things we like and dont like about ourselves and the world... but it's important to keep our mates updated. it's like a computer, you don't buy a new machine and never run updates on the piece. ya know? :smt087

 

This is very true and VERY fun to do....

 

I LOVE that analogy...lol

That is a great way to look at it.

 

I suppose biologically speaking men are "programmed" to want to have sex with more than one women. Purely for 3 reasons men have higher levels of testosterone and therefore have a higher sex drive than most women. 2ndly men don't get pregnant they dont have to have a 9 month gestication period (perhaps why women cheat less men, though obv some women do as well).

Evolution drives organisms to pass on their genes to the next generation so a man will "want" to pass on his genes to as many women as possible to ensure the fittness of the next generation. generally speaking a polygyny system is selected for amongst primates compared to polyandrous system.

Though FG is right humans dont just function purely because of our genes the environment and the concept of free will means we do have a choice. Though perhaps some are better at resisting temptation than others. Also men may cheat for various reasons not just because said women is "hot" I.e. something lacking in the current relationship, broken childhood etc..

 

ES thank you so much for recognizing the biological aspect to all this. Many women will not acknowledge we are built differently and will there for act differently. We ignore a lot of our instincts to be with you. Good post.

 

I agree with you both. I don't think monogamy is what comes naturally to everyone, however I do believe that's why we have a brain, to override the hormones and keep them in check.

 

I literally LOL'd at that....

That sounds funny as hell...

 

I think most women get that - but we also dont think you are unaccountable as you do have a brain and a choice.

 

But true IB. I wish more guys would back me up