Is being a thickgirl a race thing?

Discussion in 'Conversations Between White Women and Black Men' started by kenny_g, Aug 21, 2005.

  1. fly girl

    fly girl Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I got it. Post only about black guys dicks. Post only flattery to boost black mens egos. Only talk about discrimination faced by black guys.

    Got it. :lol:
     
  2. SardonicGenie

    SardonicGenie New Member

    No, genius. That's besides the point. Jumping to conclusions again just to get attention, are we?
     
  3. 7Seven

    7Seven New Member

    :lol you two sound like me and Iffy. :lol:

    Okay Iffy I will never argue with you again. Agreed?
     
  4. Iffy'swifey

    Iffy'swifey New Member

    No, I disagree...I WILL argue with you again!
     
  5. kenny_g

    kenny_g New Member

    That is what I was waiting to here you say all along my man.
    So I'll end this right now. To OPEN MINDED PEOPLE DO YOU THINK
    BEING THICK IS A RACE THING? So 7seven you did'nt really have to answer this post, cause it wasn't for you or anybody else that is shallow.
     
  6. kenny_g

    kenny_g New Member

    Why are you worried about other guy's girls being unattractive in the first
    place? Just asking. (To lainarain as well)
     
  7. lainarain

    lainarain New Member

    No, I'm not ending this because there are a few people still into the debate. Believe me, I would like to end the whole "what ww celeb danced to a bm's song or was photo'd w/ one" but you have the right to post what you want, I do, and so does Fly Girl.

    Fly, please reread what I said about skinny girls. I said skinny girls who are getting breast and butt implants who simply need to eat a few cheeseburgers, implying the ones that live on cigarettes, dexatrim, and fat-free microwave popcorn.

    To be honest, I could give a shit who's dating who and what she looks like. But do not tell me know one has not made the observation that SOME bm go for some beat-up ww.

    Another observation: most ww expect their bm to be in better physical shape than they expect for wm. Actually, I would say most bw would expect this also. If you disagree, take a look at these profiles or on other ir dating sites. There are quite a few overweight ww talking about how they want a bm with a "nice body." (Ha, let's see what I get now.)
     
  8. ghostgyrl

    ghostgyrl New Member

    Sticks and Stones may break my bones,
    but names will never hurt me.....

    I would rather be sticked and stoned,
    than to be in the company of some of
    the narrow minded people here!!!

    What ever happened to "TO EACH HIS OWN"? or
    "THIS IS WHAT I PREFER"?

    SO WHAT IF YOU DON'T LIKE FAT WOMEN...
    I know what kind of man I like,
    but I'm not going to belittle the ones I
    do not "prefer"!

    I am 5'10" and up until five years ago I
    was athletic, active and weighed in at 172 pounds.
    (mostly muscle hardly "fat")
    I was playing basketball at the time and suffered
    a horrible knee and ankle injury which left me
    pretty damn cripple for about six months, after
    all the extensive surgery I needed to at least
    be able to walk again.....

    Here I am five years later, I am no longer athletic,
    after six bone drilling rod and screw implant surgeries.
    I am semi active in "the pool" keeping up my "cardio
    endurance" and "some muscle tone"lol" :lol:

    I now weigh more than the "normal" BMI states for
    my height. I am not a beauty queen, yet, I am no dog
    either....Any BM man that I have known since before I was
    "fat" or even now, has never belittled me for my extra
    "ASS" or for gaining extra weight, or even my slight limp :(
    or just wanting me because I was white?!? ( I guess I've never met this kind of person?) If anything they actually said positive things...
    I have had WM chasing after me also after just a simple conversation,
    (apparently some WM love big asses too!?!?) So, to not answer the
    original question but address it..... I don' know if being thick is a race issue, but what I do know is that it sure does cause a commotion here on
    WHITEWOMENBLACKMEN.COM!!!

    It really stirred up something in me...The judgment of peoples outsides
    made me sick....I'm so thankful I know the beauty of not being shallow...
    (WHERE IS MY KNIGHT IN SHINING WEBMASTER WHEN I NEED HIM????)
     
  9. mosiah1

    mosiah1 Member

    Lainarain, lainarain, where art thou lainarain? I tried to message you, but for some reason this site wouldn't allow me to get through to you when I clicked on the message icon at the bottom of one of your posts.

    I still disagree with you on this issue. And since you are a black, I mean white woman, how can you sit back with your "girlfriends" and laugh at a brotha for dating a white woman YOU think is unattractive? That woman might be a queen in his eyes....and not just because she is white. For instance, Iffy's Wifey is always talking about how "ginger" Nicole Kidman is, but I would do anything for Ms. Kidman. There are different strokes for different folks, lainarain. Besides, those sistas that you think are laughing with you may one day be laughing at you if you decided to date a black man. SOME black woman are always going to hate BM/WW unions.

    Now let's just remotely consider that your theory about BM dating fat WW just because they are white is true. What purpose would it serve for them to do that? Contrary to some of the hypotheses in this site, BM have it tougher when they date WW as opposed to if they dated their own kind. No one is going to ridicule a BM who happens to date a fat BW, but it's clearly obvious that on this site the haters come out the woodwork when they see a BM with a WW THEY don't consider to be attractive. And who are you, Ms. lainarain, to determine if a woman is trashy or not? One person's trash can be another's treasure.

    Whenever I date someone, I have only 4 qualifications. Here they are (drumroll please): 1) She must be legal 2) She must be mature 3) I must be attracted to her and 4) She must be attracted to me. Nothing else matters after that....do you feel me? Am I right people?

    I know I am right because I always am. My posts are as strong as Superman, Lois Lainarain. So next time your "girlfriends" want to poke fun at a dysfunctional relationship, tell them to watch Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston on TV.

    Peace.
     
  10. lainarain

    lainarain New Member

    Let me once again clear up a thing or two. Man, this can be exhausting. I could care less who dates who. I am simply making observations. Also, this is not something that I have discussed w/ my girlfriends. I have only shared it w/ all of you. When some of my bw co-workers have discussed this, I have kept quiet and listened. You learn a lot that way. I wish more people on this site would do that. Let me clear something else up here - I am no Cosmo cover model. I would be considered too short and too THICK for their taste. I am 5' 130-135 lbs. I eat fairly healthy and I exercise about 3 hrs. a week. And I could work on my abs a little more. I am not trying to be a waif, I am trying to be healthy.

    Ladies, I really hope that all your mens are with you because you are beautiful, intelligent, and compassionate (in their eyes). Good for you because if you haven't noticed - I'm not sure I have found that yet, I am single. But, do not try and tell me that there are not a few, actually many more, bm out there who are simply looking for a ww - the lack of character, little intelligence, and greasy hair is not an issue. Even this little naive, white girl in the Midwest can recognize that.

    Ghostgirl - I respect that you would like Webmaster to get involved. If he would like to tell me that what I am saying is inappropriate to the site, I would obey.
     
  11. SardonicGenie

    SardonicGenie New Member

    When did I say it was something for me to worry about? It's not good to be attracted to someone just because they're white, and that is what Lainarain and I agreed on. That's all.
     
  12. SardonicGenie

    SardonicGenie New Member

    And, to all the others who didn't get what Lainarain was saying: All you did was repeat the same things about our opinion over and over again, and if a mere observation of someone elses makes you think that they are being shallow, then you need to take a look into your own souls. I can notice how attractive or unattractive anybody is if I want to, that doesn't mean that I have a problem with it of any kind, and if you, Mosiah, know that a lot of black men REALLY DO date white women who are unattractive just because they're white, they why justify it with simply love, if that isn't the case for all these interracial relationships?

    Why can it bring them you ask? Well, you tell me, after all, you're always right.
     
  13. SardonicGenie

    SardonicGenie New Member

    For the last time, NO.
     
  14. mosiah1

    mosiah1 Member

    Lainarain, you're my girl and everything so I don't want to offend you, but with perceptions like your current one you're destined to stay single for a long time. I take it that since you're a white girl (allegedly) on a WWBM dating site, you probably find at least a few black men attractive. But if a black guy approaches you and all you're thinking is that he only wants you because you're white or you're his ticket to the middle class or any other negative thoughts that cross your mind, you will never have a serious relationship with one.

    I guess that's why when it comes to minority groups, blacks are the minority that's least likely to marry outside of their race. Asians and Latinos date and marry whites in much larger numbers than blacks do, but there's always a suspicion involved when others determine the motives as to why a black man is with a white woman. We constantly have to justify our reasons.

    I know that there are some WW with a lack of character, little intelligence and greasy hair, but I'm a BM and I've seen BW with those exact same qualities. Yeah, I know you can learn things from listening to BW talk as you can learn things from listening to anyone else. But has it ever crossed your mind that some of them may be talking about BM/WW dating in a derogatory way just to plant a seed in your mind that will one day discourage you from dating a BM?

    I like your style, lainarain, but I don't see brothas going after white women for the same reasons you do. Why would they want to add even more stress to their lives by dating a woman they're not attracted to or a woman that's going to be a lightning rod for a storm of racial backlash? It is just an ass-backwards theory if you ask me.

    Peace.
     
  15. SardonicGenie

    SardonicGenie New Member

    She said only some. Again, she was only talking about some black men.


    So, why just date a white woman because she's white?


    Yes, but if there are black women with some of those same less- than- desirable traits, then it shouldn't matter to the black men who date those white women with those same undesirable traits what color they are.


    This is subjective.
     
  16. fly girl

    fly girl Well-Known Member

    I have caught it from both ends. Truth is, in most instances, i dont pay attention to it. But, I was in a LTR (over 10 years) with a very handsome white man when I first began to put on weight. Like I said earlier, I put on weight due to high doses of prednisone to treat my SLE. He was very understanding about the weight, but he would sometimes make comments that were unkind about other people and it lead me to believe that he wasnt as accepting as he played to me.

    Now, on the other hand, I left him and got right with my husband. He is very athletic and very handsome. I have posted pics of him before. I know he was accepting because todate I have never heard him put someone else down for carrying extra weight. I also know some of the women he has been with were up to 2x as big as I ever was, so it had nothing to do with my "paste white skin".

    But, now that I am underweight due to liver problems, I get a lot of grief also. Just a couple of weeks ago, I had a serious chocolate cake craving and decided to go to a restraunt. When the waitress was walking me to my table, I asked her if they had chocolate cake. A couple at the table across from where I said overheard and the lady said to the man, "those white girls need to eat some cake. She looks aweful. The guy then said, "yeah, but watch her when she go throw it up in the bathroom afterwards." To which they both laughed. Damn that was some sorry shit. They didnt even try to whisper or anything.

    No, I always date all races of guys. But, I do have to say that I do find more open-minded men in regards to beauty standards in BM. I appreciate it. But, just like my story above, not all are open-minded and can be just as cruel as any other ethnicity or sex.
     
  17. SardonicGenie

    SardonicGenie New Member

    Now were finally getting somewhere with all this.
     
  18. lainarain

    lainarain New Member

    Flygirl - I am sorry that you have had these life experiences. I would never wish such disrespect to anyone.

    MO - Being your girl and all, I'm not concerned with me living a lonely life. I'm sorry if I have given you the impression that I am obsessively on guard towards bm wanting to date me simply because I am white or they believe they can get their middle-class ticket. If you honestly have not met men like this, I am a bit amazed. (But me being a "hood rat" and all, maybe it's the crowd I hang with. Ha! Ha!)

    I am simply voicing my observations. If I have offended anyone, this was not my intention. However, if you have been offended it may be because you did not understand what I have been saying. Also, maybe you haven't had some of the life experiences I have had.

    P.S. To anyone I have snapped at in the past (7, MO) I deeply and sincerely apologize. Damn, you get ripped a new one for someone else's lack of comprehension.
     
  19. 7Seven

    7Seven New Member

    This all proves my point about women with weight issues. The women here with weight issues get defensive, explaining their weight issues, making it acceptable to be overweight. They just do not do anything about it. But, I applaud the man who dates one, he is in for one hell of an emotional rollercoster ride. There are SO many issues with these women, what man would want to deal with it? If that makes me an wretch shallow pig, then so be it. I have the power to choose better! Do not try to make me feel bad because I have standards. STOP TRYING TO OPPRESS ME DAMNIT!

    BM are not any more open minded then the next race of men. Anyone who believes that rubbish, is blinded by foolish ignorance. If MOST BM had the choice(choice=power). They will place higher standards on women. I could go into deep conception of the BM psyche, but most here would brush it off; because, it does not go with their preconceived perception of BM.

    Again, I have no problem with men who want to date women that are overweight. I would never "make fun of" one who happens to date women that are overweight; but, do not tell that a women is not overweight, when she is overweight.
     
  20. kenny_g

    kenny_g New Member


    Then stop mentioning it. That is how you make a person think you are
    by being all up in it.
     

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