Is Attraction...Nature or Nurture?

I saw some posts from another thread and thought that this might be an interesting topic to pursue.

I've seen women of all races (particularly black and white women) proclaim to the mountain tops that they are only interested in the men of their own race.

My suspicion is that while we may be born with slight preferences...our overall view of people is forged by the nurture component...our parents.

I can honestly say that if I'm looking at a woman from a distance or on a T.V. screen....a white woman will grab my attention faster but if you put me in the same club with a woman (or the same bed...LOL)...it doesn't matter nearly as much....and my preferences might lean slightly towards the black woman (barely). That's probably more of a function of shared values & culture......

Anyway...the idea that people just naturally are more attracted to their own kind seems...well...it seems unnatural. If the relative lack of IR parings is based on convienience and culture etc....I can believe that...but the idea that most people are just hard wired to have a strong sexual preference for their own "kind"....gives the impression that we are different species as opposed to being different colors of the same species. It'd be like a gray pit bull not wanting to mate with a brown pit bull because it's coat was a different color.

 

Hey ChosenOne,

Very interesting post. I read it over three times to make sure I really understood what you were saying. I think it is a bit of both (but there are exceptions to this as well)

In my case I grew up in a small city in Canada. My parents were a strange mix of liberal hippies with some conservative values thrown in to the mix. At dinner each night we would have conversations about the state of the world, politics, religion etc. By listening I discovered early on that what a person says and does is so much more important than what they look like. My dad was an old school jazz musician and talked about being the only white guy in the group. He told us horrific stories about the discrimination and violence faced by black musicians he played with.( in the US) Rocks being thrown at them, death/bomb threats at the clubs and then the same people would be in the clubs dancing and clapping after the shows! WTF! We were encouraged to be politically active and race relations and human rights became very important to me at an early age. We would rock up to school with our Free Mandela buttons on and nobody would know who Mandela was!The point in saying this is that I guess the nutured side of me was raised in an environment where I knew that whom ever I decided to be with in a romantic sense would be fine with my family. Fine in the sense that black, asian or whatever the case may be would not be an issue but they had better be able to measure up in terms of everything else that my family feels is important. Now , like I said I grew up in a small city where there were basically no black people. At the elementary school I went to we had 1 black student. When I moved on to high school there were 2 black students. How does that explain my attraction to black men? I remember watching tv with my mom and Denzel came on. I nearly died. I said to my mom My God! Look at him. She laughed and said Isn't he lovely. That to me is nature. I just thought he was the best looking man I had ever seen in my life. I had no control over my thoughts, it was complete biology (or chemistry) at work! My environment made it ok to tell my mom I thought he was gorgeous, but something else was running the show in my body! So I think it is half nature and half nuture. However, how does this explain those people who were raised in racist homes? That has to be 100% nature. I am just glad I was raised in the family I was raised in. My dad always said "Why would someone be stupid enough to close themselves off to such a huge percentage of the population because of skin colour? Those fools don't know what they are missing!" My father is a legend! If there were more men like him in this world we would all be living better lives.
Sorry this post is so long. I just have a lot to say!

 

Yeah, I agree. It's a mix of both nurture and nature. Some people are just hardwired that way, and others are more easily influenced by their environment. I've had a lot of friends who admit to being attracted to black and hispanic guys, but always went out with white guys cause their parents would get too pissed if they "shopped around", even when they were really feelin' someone who wasn't.

But just like any attraction, some people really do have a preference for people of their own race. And what's wrong with going after what you like? It's like saying it's unnatural for anyone to ever have a preference for race, or hair color, or people of a certain build, etc. Everybody likes -something-, ain't nothing wrong with pursuing somebody who turns you on.

It just gets kinda silly when you do it for stupid reasons, like buying into racist bullshit. If you don't wanna date a black guy cause you get your jollies off with a hot, white jock, then go for it. But if you only pick the sexy white football player over the gorgeous black football player because you think he's a different species and less of a human than you are then you need a reality check.

I see nothing wrong with a preference for any race. I like black men. I love black men. I barely even look at white guys anymore, save for the really hot ones, but I'd be less likely to go out with one unless he was as smooth as a baby's bottom because I'd much rather fuck a black guy than a white one, cause I like it. If I met a white guy who was hot, charming, interesting, and funny, and we clicked...Oh I'd totally go for him. If the attraction is there, which is based on far more than just physical attraction, then I don't give a shit what color he is.

However, I am ten times more likely to drool over a gorgeous piece of dark chocolate with big, juicy lips than a fine vanilla bean.

 

Mostly nature, as virtually no is raised to be gay. By contrast, it is far less revolutionary to be attracted to someone of the opposite sex from a different background.

There is no choice behind physical attraction.

 

It's biology that people of a certain race want to pass on their genes to the next generation. Black people mostly reproduce with Black and White usually reproduce with white. It's a way to ensure that your traits, characteristics, etc go to the next generation.

And since reproduction is strongly based off attraction, I'll say it's nature.

 

Co-sign...I do think both factors come into play....but the percentage for each varies from person to person and between families.

Were you the one that's about to get married? If so, do you have a sister? :lol:

 

I think you're right....a lot of people feel that way. I don't know why they don't realize that their genes will get passed on whether they marry inside or outside their "race."

I don't think it's an issue of passing on intelligence, or artistic abilities etc. I think some people just want their kids to look exactly like them....and they don't believe that a mixed race child would look like them. The type of person that thinks that Quincy Jones looks more like Djimon Hounsou than his own daughter Rashida Jones because of race....not paying attention to features.


Quincy Jones-

http://a1259.g.akamai.net/f/1259/55...ages/-/Quincy-Jones-Photograph-C10053296.jpeg


Rashida Jones-

http://www.lifeintheoffice.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/01/rashidajones.jpg


Djimon Hounsou-

http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/pv/Djimon Hounsou-4.jpg

 

Agreed...everyone should chase after what they desire. I've always wondered how there can be such great differences even amongst siblings. How three people raised in the same house can all be different; one is into INTER-RACIAL, the other is into INTRA-RACIAL, and the other is gay.

 

I feel that way sometimes....I remember being in the 5th and 6th grade...every white girl I sat next to wanted to lean on me and play footsies while rubbing my leg (don't ask...I dunno why). Let's just say that I had to switch from briefs to boxers... 8)

 

Hey ChosenOne

Sorry. I have 2 sisters and they are both taken. I am probably too old for you anyhow :lol:

 

You were a supporter of the 'Free Mandela' movement....when he was freed...all I remember from that time was wondering how much fun I'd have in kindergarten versus pre-school....LOL...

 

Oh lord! I almost feel dirty

 

:lol:

a young alcoholic can always appreciate a finely aged wine...LOL

 

They say never go younger than 1/2 your age + 7.

I have a feeling you don't fit into that category. If you were in kindergarden when Mandela was released.........that should make you somewhere around 23. Lord have mercy.

 

ChosenOne is the same age as me? -And- in the same state?

I should be gettin' myself single!

 

My vote was some nature mostly nurture. Just my opinion

 

LOL. leave it to chosenone..

 

very close...just shave off another year...LOL

 

That's the spirit!


In the words of Jesse "Cut Your Nuts" Jackson...."Keep Hope Alive"

 

OK, now I really feel dirty

Sadly I am old enough to be your mother :shock: