IR In The Dirty South

You are very correct Tuckereed. I cannot understand people who are Christians that have a problem with IR. They should look in the Bible and see that its accepted and stop being brainwashed.

Although NYC is a liberal town, its still to a certain degree segregated. I wish that people in my hometown would get over this mindset about people IR.

Its not only the south, all parts of America that need to change for the better. This is a new century, not the 19th or 20th centuries.

 

hey, heartsdesire - Where in NYC are you? I am in CT, but about 20 minutes outside of NY, and work partially out of Manhattan.

Suz

 

actually, satyricon, New England has a large black population,esp in Boston, hartford, Bridgeport, (Mass and Connecticut).

So, if you are not sure just ask mate, dont assume that IR is not active there. IR is alive and well in the Northeast.


black men(myself black and southern) are afriad to approach WW in the southern clubs out of fear of being attacked by either white men or black women.

 

thank you Zen. Boston Mass has been consistently Named the most Racist city in the US. IR relationships happen in places like NYC, Boston, Chicago and Philly, but they are not as accepted as one would except for so called LIBERAL areas.

People like to demonize the South, so they dont have to look at the problems in their own back yard. If anyone wants to look up the truth, go to www.splc.org this is an anti racist website that keeps track of some the hate crimes state by state.

interesting revelation! the south is not where most hate crimes happen, NOpe, it is California, New York, New Jersey, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Michigan

 

Someone posted this a while ago.

http://www.tolerance.org/maps/hate/

 

I think the acceptance of IR relationships is all about where you go, no matter where you live. I am a white woman, who happens to love Caribbean music - there is probably not an artist that you can name that I have not seen at least once, and I don't think twice about going to a venue because it is a "black" club. At first, I got alot of hate from women at those clubs.

For the most part, as the years have gone by, they have gotten used to seeing me there, and realizing I am not there to "steal their man", but because I appreciate the music. I occasionally will still get attitude, but mainly I see that when I am travelling - I think people in the New England area have gotten used to seeing us around.

After all, prejudice arises from ignorance and fear.

 

That map is interesting; it lists "other groups" as being the most prevalent type of "hate" groups in California but there is no elaboration.

I'm assuming that they aren't anti-black; if they were, they'd fall under the category of the Klan or Neo-Nazi groups.

 

OTHER

This category includes hate groups with a hodge-podge of doctrines. Some, like the National Association for the Advancement of White People, are white supremacist groups masquerading as mainstream groups with an interest in issues like black crime, busing and affirmative action. Others embrace racist forms of neo-Pagan religions like Odinism, a pre-Christian theology that is largely focused on the virtues of the tribe or race. This category also includes groups like the Westboro Baptist Church, which singles out homosexuals for hatred.

The Council of Conservative Citizens is a reincarnation of the White Citizens Councils that sprang up in the South in the 1950s and 1960s to oppose school desegregation. Like the League of the South, a neo-confederate group to which it has many links, the 15,000-member Council has tried without success to mask its white supremacist ideology to better promote a right-wing political agenda. The total number of groups counted in 2002 was 137.

 

Thanks for the advice suz and yea, civic spikes I will have to be strong to do it. My parents have always stood by me in different choices that I've made, so I'm hoping this won't be any different. I know it's going to take some time..I mean, I've been talking to this guy for over a year and it took six months before I had enough courage to even go out with him. But I don't want it to be a secret any more. I care about him and I want my friends and my family to care about him too.

I'm so glad that I found this website b/c I've felt very alone until now. Thanks again for all the advice y'all!

 

tiger

your friends won't ever give a shit about this guy because he's Black..

You are too weak spirited to be with a BM...You'd bail-out the first time somebody rolls their eyes at YOU..

That's all you seem to care about is what people think of YOU..

But remember..WM will never let you live it down anyway..even if you haven't had sex with him..they'll assume you did...they'll always throw it in your face..To them you will always be a niggerlover

So you might as well toughen-up and go for it...You best believe the SAME white boys that are giving you grief have/will screw a BW..SO FUCK WHAT THEY SAY..

WM date and marry who they want...so why give a shit what they say..?

Hell even racist white boys fuck BW...does Strom Thurman and Mark Furhman ring a bell..?

 

That's a really interesting site, chocoluscious.

I also think it's interesting what heartdesire said..and I was thinking about how the South is part of the "bible belt" and there are a large number of Christians living in the area. So you'd think that they wouldn't be so racist if they actually practiced what they "believe."

My church has a sister church in downtown Memphis that we serve breakfast at a few Sundays out of the month and teach Sunday school at occasionally. We also lead a vacation bible school for them in the summer. I love going to this church b/c the kids are fun to be around and their youth there are great too. I think a lot of members at my church tend to have this holier than thou attitude because we're helping people and we are white people helping black people. So because of that attitude they don't think they're on the same level..and I'm not saying this is everyone because I don't feel this way and I know other members of my church do as well.

So maybe that's why Christians tend to be racists still..I don't know..just thinking out loud.

 

i read what flaming hetero said and thought....wooo that's harsh!! but on reflection I agree with what he's saying. I had no conception of the level of hatred in the US before I came to this site and it saddens and shocks me, so my opinion is that of a naive outsider I have to confess.

but personally, i have always thought that if my friends object to my values then they are not my true friends...and why would I want to be with people who try to control me anyway. Similarly, parents will (or should) love you unconditionally whatever you do. You can't live your life for them.

Do you want to stay in your tiny little world where everyone wants to think, act, dress the same...or do you want to broaden your experience by trying out different perspectives, making new friends, and becoming a stronger more balanced person.

You have one life....make sure you're the one driving the bus!

 

Y'all are right..it shouldn't matter what others think and I've said that before. But I'm still very young..I'm in my second year of college and I'm aware that I have a lot of growing up to do. At this point in my life it still is important what others think..I can't just get over that in a day or two or even a few months..it's much easier said than done.

I have sounded a little selfish in my posts..that wasn't my intention. It's just that this is something new and I'm nervous about it. Maybe I'm not strong enough for it.

 

I read what flaminghereto wrote and thought it was way harsh - it is always difficult to explore something new, no matter what are of your life it is in. It is especially difficult when you are exploring something that you know your family and / or friends might be against. I can remember being younger, and attracted to a BM, but I was afraid to rock the boat with my family - now, I can look back and see that I might have missed a good thing.

Asking questions and exploring your options are what help you to grow, which is exactly what Tiger is doing - don't judge her by evaluating everything before jumping into an IR - she is doing things the right way.

 

i do agree that it is hard...i've also said that i am terribly naive about these things....i've not experienced the level of racism in the US so what do I know....! still.........................

Flaminghetero's use of language was harsh, but Tiger's statement's though couched in sweeter tones was also harsh. She is judging what friends/lovers are important to her based on colour...how harsh do you want. If I was her black friend and she was wondering whether to stay with me based on such things..i would feel so bad ...i would fuck her off sharpish!

Get a grip girl, grow up make your decisions on what's morally right, what feels right and not what people tell you to do. if people never did scary things there would never have been progress.

 

Tiger: Christians arent racist, people pretending to be Christian are. If they are real christians they would not judge other people based on the color of their skin, nor would you worry about what others thought about you, even if you are young.

I was your age not long ago and I never cared what others though.

Live according to the word of God, not the World

 

Tiger,

I would get your parents and you and your boyfriend to go out together. Dinner would be good. That way they can all get to know each other, and your parents can at least meet the guy before they judge him. If it goes well, make sure to go out again to dinner or wherever.

 

I understand where you are coming from Tiger and I would advise you not only in this situation but others that may arise in your life to never let fear be stronger than love....This is how you can beat them.

 

I really appreciate y'alls encouragement..and those who didn't judge my character. I'm going to take things very slow.. I've talked about all this with him..why I'm so hesitant and I even told him about this site and he's behind me and completely understanding.

Chocoluscious-My dad has actually already met him. We went to see Memphis play in a bowl game in New Orleans and after the game we went over the the player's hotel to go to a party after they won..grant it my dad was under the impression that he was a friend of mine..but he really liked him and then let us go out together onto Burbon Street so he had to trust him a little. The dinner thing is a good idea though..I might mention that to him and see what he thinks.

 

Hey Tiger well I hope things work out for the best. Just take it one day at a time.