Intellect in a relationship

When it comes to a relationship,would you rather be with a person who you could learn a lot from, a person who you can teach a lot or a person with a similar/equal level of intellect

Also would you prefer the same/similar areas of expertise and interests, different ones,or a mix of same/similar and different expertise/interests.

From conversations with various people I believe this varies from person to person.

Personally I like when there is both being able to learn from the man and being able to teach him a thing or two.
In regards to area of expertise and interest I also prefer a mixture of same/similar and different.
Only the same may get boring after a while ,but only different and opposite may be a bit tough ,too.

 

This. I don't want a know it all, but I do like to be stretched, mentally. But I also like to think I have something to bring to the table as well. There needs to be an ebb and flow.

 

While intellect is important individually, in a relationship, it is uneven. Intellect, these days is like saber rattling. However, it is not too late to develop one's intellect. But, this is a journey one takes on their own.

 

A mix of same/similar and different expertise/interests is the best for me.

 

If we talk about a dream, the intellect is of course important, more than mine? Absolutly, yes. He has to be more intellectual, more experienced, braver, with more connections...but, as Chessy said, I have to bring something on the table, too. On the other side, if he can solve all my difficulties and daily problems..why not?
I assume all depends on, how is your Lovy, what are the circumstances, I won't kick him out, because he doesn't fit in that profile. Every relationship is different to others. Be tolerant, watch, what is good for you and that's it

 

agreed! I think you nailed it!!

 

I've dealt with all three types and i'd prefer someone who is near the same level intellectually. It's no fun having to explain every obscure joke or reference to someone.

For me it would be best if opposites attract in terms of interest. She doesn't have to be into comedy clubs, heavy metal etc. I believe that's where the learning starts is sharing in opposite interest but similar interest rock to!

 

lol:smt081

 

There's a daily race at my place every day, to see who gets to dictionary.com's word of the day first... me or him. We take turns telling each other the word & meaning, depending on who sees it first. Sometimes we help each other decode it, one might be able to explain to the other. It's especially fun when instead of saying landlord, we talk about a boniface, and the other roommates look at us like, "WTF?!".

My ex-fiance was dumb as a pile of rocks. No really, he was. That's me being nice, too... . When he messed up our bank account, i was TERRIFIED to leave him to solve his problem himself. I knew he wouldn't be able to explain what happened in proper english, that he'd get stuff mixed up, etc. Yet he made me feel like I was the stupid one, and couldn't do anything right

From experience, especially with the ex-fiance, I CANNOT consider dating a guy that doesn't have "good" english. For the most part, I'm a grammar nazi. I'm the editor my friends turn to after writing a paper for school. I tutored ESL students in the recent school year + the summer program. Bad english/grammar is a pet peeve that I know I can't look past, so I'm upfront about it.

I like being able to tell someone something I've just learned, and for them to say, "yeah, I already knew that!", and then we can have a discussion on it. Then it helps me add to what I've just learned, he can teach me more.
And that goes both ways.

I've never really considered the intellect thing, since I suppose I've never really dated a smart guy but the FWB/whatever dude is a real smart cookie.

 

I want to be with someone who can teach me something. I'm always looking for opportunities to grow.

 

I love learning from him and vice versa. I enjoy similar interests and passions, but also love to experience new and different things I may not have considered trying.

They say "equally balanced" is important to make a relationship work. I believe that to be true when it applies to certain things; however, I also am not opposed to learn why something I may not agree with is important to someone I care about.

If I like the guy a lot, I am very open to learning and sharing new interests.

I want someone who is book & street smart.

 

I do find it incredibly sexy when a man is more intelligent than me (lol which isn't difficult haha)

I would rather we were similar in intellect, or he was more intelligent than me.
I love listening to an intelligent man talk, but he has to be cool with it, not as if he is higher than me and bestowing my tiny brain with his superior knowledge.

I've been with someone for a long while who I pretty much felt I had to teach every possible thing to, and yeah, it ground me down, but that was going so far the other way that it was just annoying.

 

Intellectual compatibility is 1 of the most underrated if not the most underrated important aspect of a good relationship. If the mental stimulation is a one way street things can and will fall apart.

A very good friend of mine has this very same problem and I dread to think what the future has in store for him and his wife. I grew up witnessing a marriage where this also was a problem and it caused constant resentment and ultimately destroyed it after 20 years.

 

Co-sign.

This and a deep emotional connection are the foundation of any good relationship, imo.

 

I need someone who is on the same intellectual level as me and who loves to learn.

Intellectuals tend to be more open-minded about new experiences (as they love to learn), so I would rather be with someone who has more different than same interests so that we can feed off of each other's knowledge and try new things.

I've also decided that I don't want to be with a guy who isn't a reader. He doesn't have to be a voracious reader, but someone who is open to reading and seeks out books to some degree.

 

He also has to be someone who loves to discuss things. Like sit down and have a 3 hour conversation about anything and everything.

 

I just want a woman who knows a bit about whats happening in the world rather just her neighbourhood and i also find it incredibly sexy when a woman can teach me a thing or two intellectually. It is a deal breaker for me if you dont know more than just tabloid news.

 

In my opinion, intellilect is more important than looks, because looks fade....and once that aspect of the relationship is gone...if there's nothing else...well, there's just nothing else. But I'm an opionated person, and I need someone that can keep up with me mentally...nothing sexier than being put in my place, lol...especially when it's done intelligently

 

Based on the question, I must say that for me it is more about everything fitting together.. I prefer to be ahead of my woman in areas of my interest, BUT I need her to have the intelligence and capacity to provide a helpful females perspective to everything I am into. In this way, she certainly has much to offer me, without her being stuck in her conclusions about things and can assist with her ideas, while still following my lead. Anything she is smart about or into otherwise is cool with me, and I like her to share with me, long as it isn't to pull me in her direction.

 

That's pretty cool. Too many guys want to have the last word on everything, so it's nice to know there are some out there who admit they don't know everything, and more importantly, welcome the opportunity to learn new things from their lady.

Pfffft. Not buyin' it.

??? Can you clarify?