If you thought of adoption, would you transracially adopt?

Not crazy about many things online, except my wwbm of course, lol. I read alot of books and met with real families and groups , so didnt need much from the internet but thanks.

thanks doll the prayers are the best thing!! we have waited 3 years and they say the wait if you start now could be 5 years.

thanks again

 

I would have loved to adopt a biracial child, maybe the next time--but after muc research on domestic adoptions here in the US, it was daunting how poor the process was. there are many children waiting in the foster care system that need homes, yet we have black social workers still standing in the way trying to keep white families and mixed race families from adopting a black child. also the health issues of the domestic children are sometime worse than going abroad, not to mention the fact that due to pen adoptions and ways to get at records in this country, it is hard to have an adoptinon that might be frought with issues by the birth parent.

but i might look at either Ethiopia or a biracial child in the US next time.

thanks all for the positive messages, i appreciate everyone of them

 

I've heard the wait is now longer. Many more issues I guess eh? I haven't stayed up to date with it all. I just know that some who were going to go back again have ended up not.

 

Yes.

 

I'd love to adopt a child. I want to have my own biological children too, but adoption has always been on my mind. I don't mind where they're from, as long as they fit our family. However, my fiancé doesn't like the idea of adoption. :???: I find it odd, but he insists that it isn't your own child and he wouldn't like it. Oh well...perhaps it's a Kikuyu thing? LOL Ya never know...I might be able to change his mind on it. See? I'm an optomist.

 

Ok I have to step in on this. I understand that there are many fears about domestic adoption and some of them are founded. However, there is soooo much misinformation out there. A great number of the fears are truly unfounded. Domestic adoptions in the U.S (both private and public) go along every day without any problems whatsoever. I completely understand - I started out going the international route because I believed exactly the things that have been mentioned here.

There are some excellent adoption programs in the U.S. Next time around - take a look and see...you may be pleasantly surprised

 

My (African) ex was the same. I have talked about this once before on here - long back. He thought the idea was insane and insisted that a child from another family would bring bad spirits or something. That the child would be a curse.

I should have seen that as the warning sign it was. At the time, I just told him I didn't believe in that stuff and that if he didn't consider adoption a reasonable thing, then I'd do it alone.

 

I know of many and i am sure they are wonderful, and i dont say they are all bad. In my experience, and my sister is an adoption social worker, i found it not to be very good but that was for myself and others i know who have considered domestic adoption. since i only live in one state i cant say what it is in other places. in my research i did not find it very helpful for me to go the domestic route, alot of it is going the open adoption route which is good for many but not for alot of us. also finding the abuse cases, the politics just as daunting. but again it is my experience.

 

Without question.

 

Yes, I would.

 

Ok again, I think this is like grouping ALL international adoption as the same. ALL domestic adoption is not the same. Abuse cases are going to come moreso in foster to adopt. But even with that - we could have an indepth conversation about that, and much will depend on the area that we are talking about. A good number of private domestic adoptions are done across states now (as was mine). There are also a good number of foster adopts being down across states now. The other thing is that many have a very skewed view about what "open adoption" means.

With all due respect, even adoption SWs can be very limited in their views. They really only have the information from their own experiences and most tend to work in a specific area. I'm not saying private domestic (U.S) adoption is the be all end all...there are issues, but truly there are issues with all types of adoptions.

As you have seen with your own journey, things can change a great deal in a few years. When you step back into the adoption arena it will be a completely different situation.

Just FWIW....If I were to do it again...I would go Foster/Adopt in California. Especially with the county I am in now.

I think it's great that you are open and will take a look at things again when the time comes again. Sometimes people just go with whatever they did before, but then also often find out that it's not the same even just a short time later.

Right now the most important thing is your very special journey to China next month!

(all this talk made me go look over at some of the recent photos of adoptions)

 

as i said, not all