I'm new here. A little background on me. I'm 23. Only dated white girls, a few Asians and one black girl. I enjoy the company of white girls and that's what I'm looking for. Had a great one for over 8 years. She met a "friend" and here I am. I'm a smooth talker and comfortable in conversation. But..I suck at the ice breaker. I never know what to say? In the bars "can I buy you a drink" is a old stand by that works well enough but what about meeting a woman in the aisle of a store or stopping her on her way in a store? I've tried "hi, I'm..." but I usually get a strange look and they walk away. Humiliation to say the least. And yes, I am a little sensitive to rejection. Wasn't always this way. When I have a buzz going on it's easier but I'd like to meet a nice girl while sober. So...any ice breakers? No pick up lines please. Just a way to start a conversation with a complete stranger.
sometimes the quickest way to start a convo, is just to be direct "hi, i was noticing you, im blah blah, whats your name, i have to run somewhere but heres my number, etc." its harder when its the first time you've ever seen the person
For me its always just to make them laugh, engage in a conversation about whats around you or related. grocery shopping it would be something like "do you know what isle the tomato sauce is? I'm making spaghetti for the first time by myself". A fall back is always compliment them on their watch or shoes... that hasn't failed me yet.
a good advice! just be normal, maybe try to train to talk to somebody (you maybe do not feel attracted to to reduce the stress) and after some time you won't be that nervous anymore. What I find important is that the man leaves before I do- always. It is very stressful for women, we expect automatically that we have to find an excuse to go away, if the man leaves before me and doesn't ask me in the first 5 mins for my phone number, I feel safer.
That all sounds like good advice. I especially like the stuff the engages her in a conversation with me. Any more to add?
It's not easy to explain. The situation and you have to be natural, normal. If you are nervous, the woman sees that (now I can just tell you out of my experience) and it seems to be weird. I just feel that something isn't "ok", what exactly it is, I cannot define. So the best reaction for me is to leave. A comfortable situation you can only create by talking about normal stuff, last time, when I was in London i.e., i was going to the bar, looked to the guy next to me and asked him, whether his beer is fine and which one it is- then I asked the barkeeper, which one he would advice to a stranger and afterwards I asked another one that was passing by, what he thinks about the barkeepers advice. The result was that all at the bar were talking together, we'vw had a lot of fun, till my plane departed.:smt081 Just be relaxed..
These are trade secrets man... lol. The #1 thing you have to keep in mine also it always make eye contact, avoid looking down at the booty or breasts by any means necessary. Don't give her the I want devour you look either, you have to act like your not trying to hit on her. Women have been hit on men since they were 9 and have an embedded deny all wall up. Christine said it best, you have to make sure she feels safe around you and not like your gonna put her in the back of a white van with no windows. Also, 'questions'.... ask as many questions that are not imposing on her privacy as you can, those questions lead to jokes that you can make which puts a smile on her face and drops the wall a little bit. I typically never ask for their number but am quick to pull my pen out and write my name and number on a coupon hanging from the shelves are something. Its easier than you think to spark up convo when you show your not trying to hit it but be someone in their life... get into the friend comfort zone before you try to jump to the face down ass up relationship.
I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around "act like you're not hitting on them?" So you just talk about anything, get them comfortable, and then give her your number? So it's not appropriate or advisable to show interest in their looks, personality, ect?
thank you! you should hear me talk... How about this... "when you get to the Super Bowl... act like you been there before." -the old man I let read this thread If your intentions are something serious, you don't want to put any emphasis on her 'physical' looks... they get that all the time! What they don't get is a man noticing their purse, watch, shoes or hair for that matter. Here is an example, I work in Corporate America... sexual harassment is a serious offence. Let's say I see a woman daily ok... We are co-workers, nothing serious at all. I've gotten in the elevator first thing in the morning and noticed a lady had curled/styled her hair this particular day. I said, "How do you do it" she replies, "Do what?" and I respond with "Make it to the hair salon before you came into work". That's me acting like I'm not hitting on them. lol. In reality I wasn't just giving a compliment I was implanting myself in her sub conscious as a gentleman who notices the details. After I left the company she called me for drinks. Just be patient Grass-Hoppa and believe that Patience is a Virtue... don't be in a rush.
If you're in the produce aisle at the grocery store, you can always pick up a bunch of broccoli and present it to her and say, "Flowers for m'lady?" I would find that hilarious and it would definitely break the ice! :smt003
