I need some serious advice folks...

Help me out people...the situation is this, there is a woman at my work place (a very large hospital) who has had my attention for a long while (some months)...I have gotten to the point where we will causally speak to each other but nothing too personal...well anyway I was told by another coworker that she was single so I went for broke and decided to tell her that I would like to get to know her outside of work...this is where the big mystery was born...she goes on to say well "well I you will probably like to know that I am visiting my boyfriend this weekend"...so I guess that means no?? well anyway, she proceeds now not to talk to me...she doesnt even look my way...I am usually not in a position to pull her to the side to speak to her because I never know when I will see her and when I do see it her she is flying past me, surrounded by teams of noisy coworkers....so what does it mean for her not to speak to me?? why cant we carry on like previously?? What am I missing?? do you think she is really upset with me??

 

hahaha fucking hell, just leave her alone dude. She does not want to be bothered.

 

The word in bold? It means she's not available.

 

you think that is it?? maybe so, but I am not bothering her at all...I havent spoken to her since...and that is all that I have asked of her...why cant we be friends as before??

 

And the coworker who told you she was single is an idiot or joker; probably fucking with you to see how you'd act. It's also possible that she lied to you; in any case, walk away or risk putting your job security in jeopardy.

 

yes but I am not hounding her...if she is not interested that is all she have to say...I am just wondering if I have made her uncomfortable and how to rectify it...I am sure I am not the only one that has approached her or will approach her

 

Before, she didn't realize your interest in her. Now, she does, and since she has a boyfriend, it makes her uncomfortable to think you might continue to make advances. A LOT of guys go selectively hard of hearing where women are concerned, and tend not to take a subtle hint. Like the fact that she has a boyfriend. She's just trying to avoid having to be rude - women don't like having to say outright "No, dude, not interested" because we're taught to be polite.

So this tension gets set up where we try to get our message across, guys don't listen, and we're not comfortable making it clearer, because it seems offensive.

 

the coworker that said it was like a 65 year old lady...I dont think she would joke with me...and I am not concerned about my job at all...

 

I dont think so because I am not pursuing her at all...that one sentence was the only hint that I had interest in her...not like I am continuously dropping notes, phone calls, text...none of that, we just carry on like we dont know each other

 

Good, now hold that position.

 

are you a women or a man??

 

i guess the world will never know huh satyr??

 

hahahahhaha! I guess not.

 

i had a guy at work who never left me alone even when he knew i had a bf, he lucky he stopped because my bf was gonna fuck him up, that shit is irritating as hell, if you know someones got a bf or gf why continue?

 

Personally, I think the boyfriend was an excuse - a nice way to say "I'm not interested." If I had a boyfriend, I would have no problem remaining friends with you if you were polite and had been a gentleman in the way you approached me (which it sounds like you were.) But the fact that she is ignoring you now is kinda overkill - clearly wants to discourage any attention.

 

I totally agree. Dude,, let it go.

 

Okay. Looking at this from mans point of view. I had girls who were interested in me but I wasn't them. I would tell the girls I had a GF just to get them to leave me alone, but at least one wouldn't stop. So I tried my best to avoid her until she got the point. Now i'm not saying you were bothering her but you most likely crossed that friendly line with her, it probably made her very uncomfortable and she might not want to take a chance of you asking again so she decides to avoid you. My best advice to you is to just let it go and move on, because I don't think she's interested.

 

Seems to me you just learned that dating someone from the workplace can be messy. You went for broke and you lost. Doesn't really matter whether she actually has a boyfriend or not. She's not interested. Maybe she's treating you different now but that's on her. Just behave professionally with her and let it go. Then after work go strike up a conversation with the cute girl sitting at Starbucks.

 

Don't sweat it bro, it happens.

You gave it a shot and it was a no go, but don't dwell on it.

At least you know that is that as far as she is concerned. Solider on, plenty of women in the world.

 

This right here. :smt023