I fucked up

Then what happened exactly?

 

Suuure

 

This isn't the worst thing that can destroy a relationship. As a matter of fact it is at the bottom of m list.

If she wants to share what happened she will.....

 

Bingo. Infidelity is unpleasant as hell to deal with, but it if isn't coupled with lying, it's so not a deal breaker.

 

Why do you deserve a good man when you just fucked over one??

You sound like Shaquita..

 

Yeah for YOU maybe but its definitely a deal breaker for me and most people in relationships. If my gf were to cheat on me I would break up with her in a heartbeat. I have zero tolerance for cheaters.

 

It'd be nice if she laid out everything in the OP instead of having us play 20 questions though.:smt042

 

Okay...here it is. He broke up with me because I moved for a better job and he could not move because of his family and his business, 14 months later he shows up at my doorstep telling me I am the love of his life blah blah blah... okay so I am not a nun and had someone else, who I did dump because I LOVE him,,,fast forward,,,we are at dinner an run into the dude that I was with after the man DUMPED me...He gets all bent outta shape and asked if I has ben with other dude. I TOLD THE TRUTH......He said he was not with another woman in 14 months..okay I believe him(legit), but I am not Mother Teresa...what I learned since he could not forgive me...LIE men can't handle(at least this one the truth). Stupid fucking me,,, I thought new start let me tell the truth.

No dating for me ..... a hook-up buddy maybe in time, but a real relationship FUCK that.

So I did not fuck anyone else when I was with him. He mad ethe grand gesture and I fell for it. Where I fucked up was telling the truth. Whoever said the truth will set up free is a LIAR.

 

Not that you owed anyone an explanation, but it sounds to me like you did nothing wrong. You were legitimately broken up, so how can this guy think that you owed him to remain single??

Don't beat yourself up over what happened. You were a single/free woman. You had every right to exercise your right to move on....it's HIS issue, not yours.

 

Bookie you see that as a woman. I did not owe him shit. Not my fault the other dude let him know we had something. I never asked or cared to know what he did while we were apart.

It is probably better off this way...

 

From what little I know, I would agree....

 

Because I really didn't fuck up except by being honest.....that tells me in the future it is better to lie, or better yet NEVER give someone a second chance.

 

If you love him and he loves you, why don't you guys try to work it out? It my take time etc.
Seems to me that this is something that can be fixed.
If you were not together at the time, it should not matter. If he cant get over what you did while you were not together, then he has issues he needs to get over.

 

Yeah. wanna work it out but how many times can a say sorry or stay in whne we are not together to soothe this ego? He lives 100 miles away an despite being together 3 plus times a week, he thinks that I will be with the other guy due to geography. I did NOTHING wrong since we started talking again and can't live wiht the accausations...fuck that ...love should be easier

 

Just a question: how long have you tried? From what I gathered, not too long? I really don't mean to be judgmental at all, if its just weeks, you may not have let him digest things - even if its unfair and you didn't do anything wrong. If I were you, and I loved him - I would probably say something in the line of "when you get over yourself, Ill be here but the accusations must stop" not meaning forever. If he wants to be with you, he needs to try to sort that through and decide what is more important to him. Slamming someone constantly over something that is really irrelevant is not helping and he really should understand that. You should not have to say "Im sorry".

But you know all of that.

Hugs.

 

I hate female logic as it is usually reflective of one attribute and not the other.

 

:smt005

 

Co-sign

 

Exactly.

For me: the fact that he was upset that you dated someone when you were broken up for FOURTEEN MONTHS, is a huge huge huge red flag to me.

Stiletoes, you said that truth is supposed to set you free and this case, I think it did. Imagine what else he'd try to control if you got in deeper with this guy. That's how I look at this situation.

Plus, telling the truth is preferable, because imagine lying to him about it and then he finds out down the road anyway (which, let's face it always happens) and the sh*t would really hit the fan then. Don't beat yourself up. His reaction to the news should be enough for you to realize this may not be a good guy to be with.