I felt awful...

It's odd how people can click as long as one 'believes" the other is a particular race then backtrack just because they aren't. I had a discussion about this thread and was told..."think about how a man would feel if he thought he was going on a date with a woman and it turned about to be a man". :shock: Masquerading is one thing, but not in her case.

curious, I hope you and this guy are able to have one final conversation at some point. You aren't still interested are you?

 

I'm sorry to hijack the thread...but within the last few weeks, I learned something about myself. Though I love white women, I realized that............ I'm still attracted to Black Women :shock:

Now chances are when(if) i do get married, she probably will be white (because that's what I'm attracted to). However, I realized that I can't exclude sistas from my dating pool [trust me, it I had to choose between a pretty BW and an unatractive WW, I would pick the pretty BW]. Now I've been attracted to WW since I was 7, but I always because of where I was raised, all there were was BW so I wold try to holla at them. Every one of them rejected me. Now I took that personal and it kinda gave me a bitter impression on BW and I believed the stereotypes, despite MOST of the women in my family are not like that. I also had a lot of self-image issues by watching too much television and what is beautiful and what isn't.

But I grew up some and am still growing somewhat. There are beautiful BW just as there are beautiful WW. I'm not trying to generalize. but I'm going by my experiences. Perhaps once I'm mature enough and have let go of past baggage, I can partake in a meaningful and hopefully long-lasting reltionship.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I do agree with Azora 100% on all that he has said.

 

This is the kind of guy that gives BM a bad name.

Unfortunately, there are a ton of guys like the jerk you went out with. For instance, on this very site there are too many BM who boast about the superiority of WW to other women.

 

Question is to you, if he wasn't GOURGEOUS as you say he was, would it have mattered this much to you???

It is very obvious from your different posts that looks play a very important part to you. You even discribe yourself in a very flattering way in a few posts. If YOU can be shallow about certain things about the opposite sex, why can't he????

I'll bet to you, he would have been "tainted" if he wasn't gourgeous, you are "tainted" because you are not totally white and he wanted a white woman. So whats the big deal????

 

Forget him Curious. Some men forget that their attitude screws everything off now matter how good looking they are. He's not worth your time. He might be gorgeous but I'm sure just thinking about what he said makes you sick. I would just try and forget about him. You can do better.

 

The big deal is WHY he wants a white woman. He doesn't want a ww b/c that is what he is physically attracted to. If we assume curious is right in her description and this guy was totally in to her, then he wants a ww for a very different reason than physical attraction.

Good for curious that she thinks she's attractive, and no, it's not shallow to be attracted to a person b/c of their physical features. What's shallow (and really this goes beyond 'shallow') is looking for what her skin does or doesn't mean in the context of who she is.

 

Ditto

 

Wow, I'm sorry that this happened to you Curious. You should just forget about this guy, he seems like a selfhater, he isn't worth it. I'm a biracial woman too, my mother is white, but I've never been mistaken for a WW, my skin is brownish like Halle Berry. I'm here because I support IR couples, and just to get different perspectives on certain issues or topics. Welcome to the board, is that you in your profile pic?

 

I'm about to be late for class (whoot whoot African American constitutionality by-laws 101! Yes, I go to a Black School...Howard University) so I'm finna mass-reply, because some of you guys have a good point:

kenny_g: thank you for being understanding, so many black people and even some white people, think I have it so easy with my "double life", like I can switch on and off when I please; unfortunately, nobody understands a mixed person's perils in America, we are the new prejudice.

porcelainsnwbrd: To your many points, you are so right; it's not about the fact that he has this crazy attraction, well, not so crazy, it's the fact that he was attracted to me enough to stalk me at work for weeks and then ask me out...but after two hours together, he magically doesn't like me? WTF? And no, we will not be talking again, in fact he finally brought his narrow ass back in the store to apologize, and I was getting off; he tried to say something, but I was so upset, I just told him, "I'm sorry sir, all of our attractive white female employees have gone home for the day"

infiniti: While you are right that that may not have been the reason he left, what are you saying, that I'm lame? :cry: I'm just playing with you; but we were on this date for two hours before he pulled the race card, so in those first two hours he didn't find any flaw, but it wasn't until after I firmly stated that I am indeed black, he all of a sudden finds flaw in my character? Get the f**k outta here...not to you, to him, it's a NewYork thing. :roll:

SmoothDaddy: You know what? I'm so sorry if we, as BW, ever ostracized you as a child; I'm realizing more and more that more than a few BM go outside their race because growing up, their femalie counterparts didn't see the good in them, the unique beauty that a BM can possess. And anytime I hear that sentiment, I just ask you to give us another chance; we're not all like that! I don't want to date a thug-why? so he can abuse me and not work? Produce kids with me and bounce? No thank you. I'm looking for a black man with the same goals I have, a good head on his shoulders, who is willing to grow with mw as a man, whom I can support, and who can support me. We're out there. :wink:

jamie101: Yes, I realized that.

Jellybird: What?! I know, I was perusing through this site, and I've come to find out, that the WW on this site are cool: they are honest and open with theirs (for the most part) and advocate love for all black people; it's some of these men who i can't get down with; how dare you tell me a WW has superior beauty to me? Am I not beautiful because my grandparents were slaves and sharecroppers? Have I not worked my ass off to get where I am too? It's frustrating, becuase hey, I still like BM, but do they still like me? :?:

gladiator423: First of all, let me tell you, I AM BEAUTIFUL, actually. I love every part of myself and yes I describe myself in a flattering way, because to do otherwise, would be a lie. Second of all, yes, he was attractive because he was cute, and I understand the physical aspect of it all, but what he did? Went above and beyond the rules of "normal" attraction. And he wouldn't be "tainted" if he wasn't gorgeous, because I don't live my life based purely on physical attraction; I love BM, but if a WM asks me out and he has something I find attractive, and we hit it off, please believe that he would be recieving a call the next day. So, call me confidence "shallow" if you like, but my mother didn't raise no ugly girls, she only raised beautiful ones, and I hope if you have a daughter, you instill that attitude in her to, because if she doesn't think she is beautiful, then who will?

JasieS: Oh yes, the thought of him makes me sick, I can do better. Thanks

Patterson: Yep, that crazy distorted picture is me...and kudos to another mixed baby; nobody understands us better than us. And I too, am here in my support of IR relationships and really because I wanted a BM and a WW perspective on what happened to me.

I'm off to class, peace.

 

Great analogy and description...........2 points for fnny :lol:

 

Who does that, I have heard bm on here express their feelings and likeness (or loveness) to ww but I aint never heard alot of us put them as superior.

 

What? You haven't heard that? I've been on here two days and I've seen that more than a few times...not bashing anybody though, just saying

 

Well said Chi. The guy that Curious went out with is obviously an idiot, and a shallow one at that. It does sound like he's looking for an arm trophy and not a woman. That's just like me sitting down with Mariah Carey, who is also biracial, and after hearing that she's not "white" i get up and leave. haha...that's how ridiculous it sounds! Mariah is FINE, whether she's biracial, white, black, or whatever! if he initially found you to be attractive, he's an idiot if he finds your racial classification to be reason enough to leave and not be interested in you anymore.

 

I've read some posts in the past couple of months that have made me really uncomfortable for that very reason. Now I am way too lazy to go back and find them and I don't want to start naming names and then find out I'm wrong, so I'll just leave it at that. Not so much the long time members, kennyg, moreso the folks who have joined more recently. When you say 'alot of us' I certainly wouldn't put you in that category. :wink:

 

I'm with you on this, fnnysmrtprtty. It makes me very uncomfortable to read anything that even alludes to the superiority of one race over another or a subset of one race over that of another. And unfortunately, I've read some posts recently that make those very allusions. But I've been around here for a while, Curious, and the majority of people that come to this site don't come to read that sort of crap and certainly don't give it any credence.

As for the op, I'm sorry you had to go through that, Curious. If the guy's reason for losing interest in you was because you weren't white, then that's a guy you are much better off without.

 

I was just wondering was that you, because in that pic you look like a very pretty full blooded black woman. Judging by your features, I would've never assumed you were a white woman, but I guess each person may precieve phenotype differently. Anywho, welcome aboard, its good to see another mulatto on the site.

 

Girl, it's the lips...and the hips, and the booty; I got all my mothers features, but not her skin tone...And it's a mix on how people percieve me: half think I'm just "high-yella" (and yes, when men try to holla at me, they do scream "hey yellow! Yea you!") and half think I'm just a white girl with a big butt...it's whatever though, I know who I am...

 

Well whoever did it needs to quit. Only woman you give that superoirity to is the woman in your life and has been your rock or something like that I mean plain and simple woman in your life.

Even though I gush over women like joanna shari or hiedi klum that is as far as it go. In no way do they get that kind of respect for the simple reason they are not my woman...plain and simple.

Whoever does it though, reality will hit them when they run into a racist white woman to bring them back down to earth.

 

That is so funny you said that, I lived in the United Kingdom for four years! My mother works for the United States State department, and my dad is a lawyer with the United Nations, so I've spent the majority of my life outside the US, and you know what I've encountered? It's a little better in Europe, but not so much to where I would say the black people there are less "messed up". But you are right that this hatred between black men and women is not very prevalent in the UK...and it is sad.

 

I was thinking the same, but I do know someone who had a similar experience and I couldn't understand how she was mistakened for another race.