I am new to this site, so I have a question about IR dating.

Hello everyone. This is my first post, so I will try not to mess it up. I am an IR male that lives in California, and although I don’t want to say that I am very good looking, I have been told this by others. Because of this, I have a question that has been bothering me for awhile. Whenever I meet a white woman that is interested in me, they always say that I can probably get any girl that I wanted. This is not the case, because it seems like most women I meet try and put up a wall of resistance, or treat me like sh.. to show that they are too good for me. When we go out and people stare at us, they say that it’s probably because I am so good looking.

I have been black all of my life and know the deal, but they may be oblivious to what is really happening. My question is if so many of these women think that I am that good looking, why is there such disparity from other women?? I don’t know if it’s because I am tall, muscular, etc. I never see white guys going through this. I know that there is preference, but good looking is good looking. I may not like a girl with blonde hair, but may still think she is good looking. If a guy is considered average or below average, that is pretty much the case amongst all women that he meets, but why such extremes in my case?? If a beautiful white girl thinks that I am gorgeous, how could I get treated like an average Joe from other girls that are not necessarily good looking?

I don’t know if any other of you have experienced this, but if I see a woman, and I am not her type, she tries to make it blatantly obvious by treating me like sh.., or not showing me any common curtsey. How could there be so much disparity between women thinking that I am very handsome, to women treating me like the plague??

PS- This is who I am incase you are wondering: http://www.hollywoodnorth.com/details.asp?v=8129

 

I am sorry that some women are not nice to you. You are good looking. A possibility for some of the ww who are not nice could be that they have not been around a lot of bm and are somewhat intimidated by a bm. It probably isn't that they don't find you attractive-they probably are just a little scared or nervous.

 

Re: I am new to this site, so I have a question about IR dat

welcome to the boards, rocket!

hmmm, i'm not really sure if i have any answers for you...but i'll give it a shot, haha. maybe you're just worrying too much about what everyone thinks. you have to be comfortable with you as the whole package - personality, physical appearance, beliefs, etc. i looked at your pics - you are handsome. so, when women tell you that, just focus on that...don't worry about the ones who aren't attracted to you or who treat you like scum.

i agree with what shy said. it could be when these particular women are uncomfortable or nervous. chances are too, that those women may be feeling self-conscious, and are just flat out intimidated by you if they find you attractive. they may not know how to respond, so they come across as being hateful. lacking self-esteem can make people do all sorts of crazy things.

 

You look like Oj Simpson.
LMFAO.
I'm just fuckin' with ya, though you actually do look like oj.
A lot of white women thought he was good looking too.

Also, you could just come off as a very nice guy.
From my experience, nice guys just don't illicit the kind of response you'd think just for being attractive. Not normally, anyway.

 

That's not true Summit- I am attracted to nice guys- not jerks myself.

 

Rocket, how people treat you often says a lot more about them than it does about you. It might have something to do with your looks and then again, it might not. But why spend time analyzing someone else's bad behavior or lack of courtesy? If someone doesn't treat you well why not just move on? Just do you. If you're comfortable with yourself and if you treat people (women) well, I'm quite sure you'll attract the same.

 

hmm...yeah I guess I need to qualify that a little more.
When I say nice, I mean the quiet nearly unapproachable(due to shyness) and too agreeable type. You don't have to be a jerk, but you just can't be too pliable. Nice was probably the wrong word to use.


If you statement still applies....

 

Yes you are probably right about that summit. I am also attracted to a guy with an outgoing personality and not too extremely shy. (But it's okay-I am outgoing-)- so if I happen to meet a great shy guy- i will just have to bring him out of his shell. :wink: :wink: :wink:

 

Although I am shy at first-so I don't know how we would ever get together! LOL. :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

hence your name?...hehehe :wink:

 

bro the issue is not whether you or others look good, its also has to do with similar interests, personality, background and upbringing

 

Thanks for all your responses.

[bro the issue is not whether you or others look good, its also has to do with similar interests, personality, background and upbringing]

tuckerreed- This is true what your saying, but a lot of times we don't get to show our personalities, etc because of first glances and stereotypes. I REFUSE to chase any woman, or put in the extra effort that other guys of other races wouldn't have to do. It's almost like I have to prove myself. Sometimes I don't know if women are shy, or they all think that I want them. This is another thing that pisses me off, because I get some very unattractive women thinking that I am going to hit on them, or that they are too good for me (at least that's the way I read it in my mind)