I am addicted to WW - how do I get (gently) weaned off this "addiction"?

flaminghetero · Sep 23, 2010

pettyofficerj said: ↑

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:smt043:smt043:smt043

chocolatecream4u · Jun 8, 2011

Hang in there...Good luck

:smt100This is going to be extremely difficult...:smt017...The addiction to the white woman,and being weaned off...This is gonna require some counselingGoodluck..I'm staying addicted.:smt038

LA · Jun 8, 2011

I'm addicted and proud to be a junkie.

Arwen · Jun 8, 2011

Now, that's a nice ass

LA · Jun 8, 2011

Arwen said: ↑

Now, that's a nice ass
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Looks a lot like yours.

saintaugusta · Jun 8, 2011

AfroLove said: ↑

I wish I could stop being attracted to White women as well, I hate it with a passion. I'm not attracted to most White women (and not any of the ones I see in real life) but the women I do have romantic feelings for, the ones I see on internet message boards or in television shows/movies/porn videos, are usually White, sometimes neither Black or White and rarely ever Black. Most of the White people I come across are rude, obnoxious and lack empathy (cognitive and affective), at least for me. So is/do everyone else but most people where I live are White. I honestly can't stand dealing with them, I lose my personality when I'm around them. I don't know if it's the contrast in skin color and the fact that they're so alien to me, or living in a White area and being interested in issues that, stereotypically, appeal mostly to White people (ie. philosophy) or the fact that most of the tv shows/movies I watch have White protagonists but, for whatever reasons, I find attractive White women with compassionate, kind personalities to be very desirable. It's depressing because I consider myself to be pro-African unity (although you can be a pan-Africanist and identify with non-Africans) and I hate to be just another stereotypical BM who's head over heels for White women, especially considering how often I'm mistreated and disrespected by these people. I've been talking to this White girl online for years now and my feelings for her are even stronger then when I first developed a crush on her. She is my favorite human being in the world and I don't even know what her voice sounds like.

In my teen years, I wasn't even remotely attracted to them, save for the very odd exception. What the hell happened to me? I was rarely attracted to light skinned Black women back then, let alone White women. Now, when I see a beautiful Black woman, I want to put her on a pedestal and not touch her because I'm so proud of myself for being seriously attracted to one again. I think Black women are as physically attractive as White women are but the thought of being intimate with someone who's so different from me is endearing, so it's easier for me to have romantic feelings for White women. One thing is for sure, I will never act on these feelings in real life.

*off topic* - to look at someone in a hyper-sexual context is not the same thing as viewing them as a sexual object. To objectify someone is to disregard their feelings/self-interests and use them as an instrument for your own benefit. Unless you're raping these women or tricking them into having sex with you, you aren't 'objectifying' them. The very nature of sexual/romantic attraction is self-gratifying.
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This is a load of racist bullshit that is, obviously, the guy's real feelings. It's wrong on so many levels, and he even has it BETTER in Canada in many ways than in much of the U.S. when it comes to racial attitudes (especially toward blacks). Just goes to prove that old maxim "Wherever you go, there you are."
He is an island because he chooses to be so.

saintaugusta · Jun 8, 2011

pseudophilosopher said: ↑

Hmm, I'm not sure why you hate this with a passion, as you state. For one, I am assuming that you live in "the West" - hence by definition, there is a higher propotion of WW to BW. Ceteris paribus, you are more likely therefore, to interact with a WW than a BW. Furthermore, we (as males in general) are constantly being bombarded by pictures of sexy women 24x7. Invariably, almost all these sexy women we see in the media are all WW (as you indeed point out). I'd wager to say that any male (regardless of color), who does not find at least, a proportion of WW sexy has intentionally conditioned himself to be that way - perhaps due to strong religious convictions (e.g. devout christian, Muslim, Hindu etc).

If you happened to be a BM living on mars, and the majority of females there were green - (and they were constantly being paraded in front of you 24x7), there are no prizes for guessing which color of female you would be attracted to. It is a no brainer, and it is nothing to be ashamed of, or bitter about (or for that matter, "proud" of) - its just a fact.

Whoa!. Ok, I have to admit, I didn't see that one coming. What on earth are you talking about?. Jeez, you can't go around "stuffing" whole swathes of people into boxes like that - you of all people (as a BM) should know this full well. If people (regardless of color) are ALWAYS being jerks to you, there is a real likelihood that its because you ARE a jerk. Also, if you expect people to be jerks to you, and walk around with a "hangdog" expression, they pick up on it and are jerks to you. This is a very limiting weltanschauung (world view), which will inevitibly lead to a downward spiralling, self fulling prophecy. Seriously, you need to break out of that. I don't even know how one can form such a world view. Incidentally, where I live is one of the "whitest" parts of the UK, and where I work is almost exclusively white. All my work colleagues are WM, and most of my friends outside work are WM. You couldn't meet nicer people.

At some level, I'm sure you must surely know that this is complete poppycock. Who told you that philosophy was exclusively the preserve of white people? (western Philosophy yes - but thats merely a branch of Philosophy, and even that has its roots in Greek philosophy which builds on some philosophies from Egypt, Mesopotamia etc.) I don't mean to sound harsh, but you are beginning to sound like a simpleton.

Also, if Philosopy is for white people (as you seem to suggest), and you live in an area that is predominantly white, then you DO share a common interest with your neighbours - why are they still alien to you (as you claim)?. That, I suspect is where the problem lies. Forget all this black and white bullshit (as much as the Americans like to bring it up - and with good reason sometimes). People are people - period. We all bleed, and we will all die one day. Once you reach out, you will be suprised how friendly people can be. Also, it is a potentially fatal fallacy to assume that because someone is a particular colour (e.g. BM), they automatically give two hoots about you. Just check out some of the antagonism (masquerading as playful banter) in some of these threads.

We all desire women who are compassionate and have kind personalities. Being a WW does not automatically bestow these desirable qualities on a person. WW are people, just like anyone else. Ergo, they have their fair share of bitches, skanks, gold diggers and what have you (just like any other group of people). If there is one thing I abhor, it is putting anyone on a pedestal when they haven't done anything to earn it. If you are talking about your girlfriend, yeah thats different, you can talk from experience. But you can't go around with the silly (and potentially dangerous) notion that (all) WW are compassionate, kind etc. It is a patently false assumption to have.

Say whaat? (ok, I couldn't resist that). Why is this depressing?. Being pan-African is not incompatable with loving a WW. Why do you care what anyone thinks if you are in love?. You can't live you live to please anyone - as far as we know, you have one shot at life. This is it, not a dress rehearsal.

Furthermore, you love who you love - to hell with the colour. I mean you can't love somebody solely on the basis of skin color. How much more shallow can you get?. Lust (i.e. pure physical attraction is a different matter altogether) :smt077. Also, why are you attempting to form relationships online when you are surrounded by the very sort of people you want to meet? *Does not compute*

See my response to your first paragraph (as well as my OP). My "tastes" in women has changed over time as well - and the changes have been perfectly correlated with the visual stimuli I was receiving from my environment at the time. You (and me, and everyone else for that matter), is a volatile mix of nature and nature. Nature seems to prefer bio-diversity (and there is documentary evidence to support this). What this means is that it is natural (or understandable at least) for a BM to be attracted to the "otherness" in a WW (and vice versa).

Regarding Nurture, you are a BM (a minority) in a WM's world (i.e. living in the west). You are exposed continuously, conciously and subconciously to sexy images of WW 24x7 (a sort of "free PR for all WW" - this is why I believe BW are fighting an uphill battle - but I don't want to open THAT can of worms). Moving swiftly on ...

On top of this explosive combination of Nature and Nurture, If you throw in America's "colorful" past, the final catalyst to this tinderbox (mostly relevant perhaps to people with "racial baggage") is the "forbidden/pure fruit" bullshit aspect of an IR reln, and you have an instant explosion (well sort off). I don't know what you're beating yourself up about - though I suspect you may want to take a close look at yourself and see where you can change - go out and meet more people from all races and background. Apart from having fun, one thing you will quickly realize is that we all have the same fears, dreams and aspirations. In short, we are all the same.

My OP was rather tongue in cheek. Some of the things I said could have been phrased better. I was more coarse than I probably should have been (I guess it was a temporary lapse of judgement as I was reminising over my exes). It seems to have riled some people. To clarify, I do NOT hate the fact that I am sexually attracted to WW (I understand the mechanics of it) - and I am cool with it. Instead, I am trying to try to start to treat ALL women with respect, instead of seeing them simply as sex objects. Since the vast majority of my recent "exes" are WW, I framed the question in the context of WW.

The redeemed one gave me some helpful advice/links, which I will review at my earliest convenience.
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Ok I think I am in love now. :smt038:smt007:smt007:smt007

saintaugusta · Jun 8, 2011

LA said: ↑

Oh, really?
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I didn't know there was such a thing lol...

hntr18 · Jun 9, 2011

my grand eval of this thread is that its stupid for 2 reasons 1. you cant be addicted a culture or race of people. 2. you can be addicted to person as in the way they walk, they smell,their personality,etc lol

jaisee · Jun 9, 2011

I'll give you another reason it's stupid.

3) Too many fucking words.

Sin Mari · Jun 9, 2011

White Women rock. :smt109 End of story.

jaisee · Jun 9, 2011

Black men rap.

Sin Mari · Jun 9, 2011

jaisee said: ↑

Black men rap.
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:smt081

Tony Soprano · Jun 9, 2011

Sin Mari said: ↑

White Women rock. :smt109 End of story.
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This.

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I am addicted to WW - how do I get (gently) weaned off this "addiction"?

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