I admit it...I have a bias against African and Carribean Men

Re: nonsense

Oh no! Racial stereotypes!?! Everyone on this board is sure to be free from those right? :roll:

Guys like you accept the racial stereotypes when it's some woman who posts about why she only dates bm - because they are charming, and sexually confidant blah, blah, blah... I don't see you jumping all over those women. But when a negative stereotype is put in the spotlight and questioned then the author is evil.

Shedevils post says she has an open mind, understands the limits of her knowledge and is willing to expand those limits. The people who are full of shit are those who fail to take a look at themselves and look for the shortcomings that we all most certainly have. Don't jump shedevil b/c she has attempted to live in something other than a fog of miseducation.

Her post doesn't say anything about 'you' - it questions her own experiences. If you read what shedevil posts you would know she never judges.

 

WSD: IMO you're just describing an old fashioned patriarchal mindset which exists all the way across the globe, wherever individuals haven't been educated in the equality between the sexes. Through centuries, men have fought for control over women's bodies - there is a fear of female infidelity and sexuality in these types of cultures because both prove a threat to the bloodline of a man. It's terrible, but it has basis. Of course it shouldn't go on. But of course there are still people in every culture who think this way, particularly, maybe, where religious fundamentalism exists. It is a matter of degree. In many countries, honour killings are still tolerated - a barbaric practice. In England and the US, women are lucky to be able to take many freedoms for granted, but there is a lot of work to be done. These attitudes shouldn't be pinned on any particular ethnicities but instead should be weeded out wherever they cause misery for people.

 

Also don't underestimate the African v Jamaican thing. My exes from the Caribbean have been very rude about African men, and vice versa, in the main! It's a well known undercurrent of racism.

 

Edit: i should have guessed that iffeyswifey would write what I was going to write, she's a smart lady! :lol:

loving the Nigerian banter too, just wish I understood it!

 

I definitely command WSD for asking the question and clearly identifying the motive for it. She stated it was to clarify her 'perception', not to enforce it so anyone jumping on her for asking the question is in my opinion a small minded knucklehead. (If her post would have been confrontational and clearly ignorant, a statement masked as a question, I would understand the reaction but I definitely think her post is sincere)
If you disagree with the question explain yourself eloquently so you can clear up this perception or stereotype.
We all have seen discussions on this site that at one point or another touched a very personal nerve with us and it was painful to watch and "battle it out" but that's part of this site, along with the flattery, jokes and goofing off.

 

I think this thread is interesting because in a way it was bound to touch a personal nerve for nearly everyone. The whole point of the site is that it is about the interrelations between black men and white women, and the question goes to the heart of the rough areas of perception around that, by suggesting that African/Caribbean women don't know how to treat women! So it was going to set people's bells ringing. But chigirl is right. All of us have lack of understanding about some things...and if you look hard enough, there'll be something to freak all of us out, basically just because we have a lack of understanding about that thing. It's brave to try and understand your gut feelings and prejudices better because that's the only way to really get rid of them.

 

My ex whom I recently broke up with is Jamaican. Great guy, but he had some security issues. I would certainly date another Caribbean man again. I can see how easy it is for some people to become jaded or prejudice after a few bad experiences, but what you have to remember is that it's the person and not the culture. Culture definitely influences a person, but it is wrong to paint everyone with the same brush because of cultural differences that we may not understand or agree with.

 

Actually, one thing people do not understand or are aware of is that most of the strident antipathy of Africans towards Caribbeans is pretty much self-inflicted. As in, both sides do not like one another for reasons unknown to me - unknown in the sense that i cannot understand why two groups of blacks will call themselves the nastiest things. Generally, Africans see Caribbeans (and black Americans) as lazy, oversexed, irresponsible, greedy, violent, opportunistic and uneducated; pretty much how whites see blacks. Caribbeans and black Americans likewise see Africans are primitive, untrustworthy obnoxious, haughty yet sychophantic at the same time. Especially those last two. Many black Americans hate the fact that Africans, especially newly arrived African immigrants to America, accept menial jobs that they would not do. For example, my father told me about his time as a cab driver and cleaner when he first came to America in 1965. He said that many blacks (some of whom were cab drivers like him) used to ask him why he's a cab driver and why he cannot get better opportunities for himself as he's an immigrant.

This mentality runs deep in the minds of some black Americans and as such, they hate the fact that many Africans, in their opinion, love to present themselves as the "good" blacks, compared to black Americans.

 

It's good to ask and have an idea but their is something called "backbitting". Beware, don't jump into conclusions that if one does it , it applies to all- fallacy.

"Backbitting" is common among some Africans, thrashing their friends to portray themselves as being scent, respectful of opposite gender to gain attention and closeness.

Guys like that are extremely deceitful. I've had lot of experiences on it. I don't talk much neither do i belittle but it always happen in circle of my friends which gave me a lot of insight into some peoples mind.