how to build and foster a good relationship/marriage.

i have been seeing yahoo put up relationship articles about it and(ther sites. i saw gma where a married couple had sex 30 days straight and they said it brought them closer. a marriage counselor said its not good to turn your hubby down for sex because its a sign of rejection even though you think u are fat. men need to make an effort to make their woman feel sexy.

what other suggestion you have?
also post articles. i cant my fone is low level.....lol.

 

I have learned to cherish the man I'm with, to make sure he knows that I choose to be with him each and everyday. I wasn't very good at that when I was married but definitely learned that lesson. It's also important to remember that we are all human, make mistakes, say stupid stuff on occasion, and forget birthdays or anniversaries. Let it slide, since it's usually so minor compared to something like an affair or abuse.

Also, communication is extremely important. Honest, open communication.

 

yeah communication is important....lets say proper communication. i learned its not just what you say but how you say it.

 

I believe one good way to maintain a solid relationship is when you're treating your woman, you should clearly communicate why you're doing whatever it is that you're doing for her.

i.e. If you and your lady are having an anniversary and you want to take her to Paris, you should say something like this, "Baby, i know that it's our anniversary and I appreciate how you have been down for me for x amount of years. So that's why I just booked us a flight to the city for lovers, Paris. So go ahead and put in those vacation days babe." That would melt her heart.

 

That would be amazing!

 

you said something thats very important.....forgiveness.
adding on to the communication issue....listening is very important. see things from their pov.

 

Listening is EXTREMELY important.

 

yeah. its important to see their pov

 

^^ This

 

There are no hard and fast rules cast in stone. Some work, some don't

 

yes and no. i get what you are saying. however there things people can do to be successful. ......sometimes we overlook the obvious. its cool to get tidbits of wisedoms...like athenas post. everyone has room to learn.

 

I agree

 

You think people haven't followed these rules to the letter and still gotten divorced? Sometimes you just fall out of love

 

True

 

true but you still need to self evaluate and make yourself better....no one person have all the answers.....thats wha the thread is about....sit around and try to get better.

 

Always be honest, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.

Look at every situation from their pov, like others have pointed out. What seems harmless to you may not feel so harmless if you put yourself in their shoes.

Take time to really stop and think before reacting. You can never take back words spoken and you cannot un-do something you did out of spite.

Forgiveness will not take away the scar you left behind, and there are times when some just cannot deal with the way that scar looks or forget how you made them feel.

Learn how to actively listen, and ask questions for a clearer understanding if you need to.

Talk openly and communicate often, about everything. Even if it's just to let them know you were thinking about them.

Leave the past in the past. Bringing up past relationships and partners always stings. Leave your baggage there too! Everyone deserves a clean slate! If you aren't willing to clean that slate, don't start a new relationship, you aren't ready!

Never tell too much to others outside of your relationship. Be fair to your partner, because most of the time you are only telling one side of the story, which allows others to form inaccurate opinions.

 

the last pt is a good one.

dont mimick tv shows too much ...they are way off.

 

Understanding a person's past is necessary, imho. Noone wants to be with someone who is a person of mystery, serial killer, con artist or serial killer. If one thinks that a person's past is not important, that person can proceed at their own peril. So proceed with caution. There may be times when the ex will be brought up. Be aware of that history and understand that the history of a previous relationship is not like the present relationship.

 

I definitely agree that all cards should be put on the table, to be fair. You should never just walk blindly into a new situation and expect to feel safe or content with what you don't know. That said, you should always talk about past events and personal history with that other person, and be especially fair by forming YOUR OWN opinions. Going off of hearsay is not fair and you owe it to yourself and if you think about it, them to let them explain.

I meant more along the lines of leaving past relationships and drama and regrets in the past. It's ok to talk openly and ask questions once or twice, but to continuously bring it up causes problems. If you accepted someone's past, it's not fair to hold it over their head.

 

basically, dont bring past relationships into the new one