How much wieght does sexual attraction carry..

I know there is a "Is sex the only thing that holds wwbm relationships together?" thread. This is in response to that. That said, from my experience and observation it would seem society in general(and many subcultures) would establish sexual attraction should be secondary to other factors(mostly social/ economic) when choosing a mate. Also that choosing a mate based on sexual desire is crude. What do you guys think? How much Weight does sexual attraction carry when considering a bf/gf

 

Sexual attraction is HUGE!

I've been in a long term marriage where there really wasn't any sexual attraction on my part. There is just no way I would do that again in life. I think I thought if they fit the requirements on paper then I could just make it work because I really thought that attraction comes and goes.

And in saying that, I'm not saying that sex is everything. I'm saying that the strong sexual chemistry between two people is very important to the relationship. And I know now that it isn't something that comes and goes. Some people just have an undeniable connection to each other in that way. It's a primal thing. A biochemical response to one another. Personally...I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with out that. To me, not having that part would be having a friendship or a roommate - not a full relationship.

I'm not going to choose a mate solely based upon sexual desire, but I can tell you it's going to be way up there on the list.

Communication, passion and intimacy between two people are extremely important. When I say passion and intimacy - I'm not only talking about the bedroom. But of course the question posed was specifically about sexual attraction.

 

For me sexual attraction is major in that it is part of intimacy which is part of love that's different from the love I have for my brother, mother and father.

I can love a woman that I don't have sex with just like I can have sex with a woman I don't love however I rate the success of a relationship based on both the sex and love.

I like the idea of a smart woman.
I like the idea of a strong woman.

I need to have sex with a woman I love in order to feel that the relationship is complete.

I don't know if that makes sense to others but I don't find it crude at all.

 

I agree. Physical/exual attraction is the major reason why people (especially men) intially want to find out if a person is suitable for a mate. It is PC to say it isn't important or that it is superficial. It speaks to the "hardwired" biological desire to find someone with whom to procreate the human race. That is why it is asnine to finger IR realtionships as more superficial in that regard than "same race" realtionships because no one can decide for you who you find most attractive.

It is superficial to ONLY base your decision to have a mate based on physical attraction because human relationships need more than that to be successful. Human relationships are far more complex than two beings coming together just to make babies. Culture, religion, financies, language, personality traits, goals in life, etc. all are important in maintaining any successful relationship. But like many therapists/relationship experts will say, you can have a lot of things in common, but if the couple aren't in sync with each other when it comes to sex, they're going to have a hard time staying happy together.

 

Sexual attraction is a must. Without that marriage is impossible at least for me.

 

Sex is very important to me, so sexual attraction is very important to me. I have never dated someone I haven't felt a strong "pull" towards when initially meeting them. Sexual attraction can make relationships feel so visceral, and immediate, and exciting...I can't imagine what it would be like without it. I love the feeling of headiness, and of not quite behaving normally at first because lust has taken over and made you into a bit of an animal! :lol: So if I start moving towards a man bit by bit, laughing lots, talking very fast, and talking nonsense...I know that man is worth fixing my eye on!! :wink: It is really worth holding out for that...I guess I probably don't get it very often because it is down to a person's nature as well as their looks, but I wouldn't bother if it wasn't there!

 

sexual attraction is definitely important...it helps the relationship as a whole, and not just the sexual aspect, and its really big (at least for me) that im attracted to someone if im going to be in a relationship with them, otherwise it would just leave a huge void!

 

A LOT!! Why would I get into a relationship with someone I'm not sexually attracted to? I'd rather keep him as a friend.

 

DITTO

I need a man that can keep my mind and body stimulated or it would never work!

 

After the sexual attraction goes in a relationship, I've found that no matter how much you enjoy their company or like them as a person, it's almost impossible to keep the relationship going.

 

I second that!

 

sex is primarily and ultimately the thing that motivates us into persuing relationships....whether its with a white or black woman, the first thing that most guys look into is whether a certain woman will make him "rise to the occasion"....and if she cant,,,why even bother with being with her???...In saying that, though, i also believe at this point in my life, sex for just sex, is no more gratifying for me, than dating to date. There has to be a genuine "emotional" connection for it to intrude that sense of isolation, and bring a sense of "intimacy". "fake intimacy" of booty calls and teh like just doesn't do it for me anymore. But at the same time,,dating a woman , or being in a relationship in which sex is non existent would be trouble,,,,id rather remain single

 

lol.....what mind??

 

well said. But then again. White women that date black men tend to be on the higher level of freakiness......Such women can never date a bm whos in the army, or constrantly on the road. Or the resultant would be constant cheating

 

a "higher level of freakiness"? what makes you say that? its kinda stereotypical....

 

Not stereotypical at all- im talking based on personal experience and after having dated (fooled around with) atleast 400 white women. And my boys that deal with ww say the same thing, so there should be some truth to it.

Im not saying theres anything wrong with being a freak. Ofcourse however the biggest freaks ive dealt with were white women,,,,hands down. And theres no way in hell a woman like that can not have sex witout going completely "nuts" about it...

 

:lol: But haven't we also had conversations about the type (any) of woman you have been with? Once you step up to a higher quality woman you'll find we're not all freaks that have to constantly have sex. There's plenty of fantastic women who are freaks and that can also maintain monogomy. :wink:

 

LMAO-ok now youre talking about me back in the day. Trust me, i date women that look like models these days, and yes, they are even freakier than the less attractive ones

 

:lol: Back in the day - you mean six months ago? :lol: But I'm not talking about attractive quality...I'm talking about internal quality - the kind you might not be worried about right now... :wink:

 

Haha! I'm not a freaky person. I'm just wired up to have a high sex drive.