How does a white woman meet a sane black man in murfreesboro, TN?

Where are all the sane black men in Murfreesboro

I suspect it depends on your definition of "sane". If you're a married woman (white or otherwise) most sane men I know are going to keep their distance from you. You may be separated, but that doesn't mean you're available. :freehug: Having said that, the next obvious decision is what kind of man are you looking for? Religious, Financially independent, Good Listener, or maybe a bit of a Jock. I used to live in Murfreesboro, Tn. (I now reside in the mid-west). But my reason for responding to your question is I remember when I lived there, I had no problem meeting women, white, Asian, or Hispanic. If you want a jock, you go to sporting events. A financially sound guy, go to local REIA (Real Estate Investment Association) meetings. A religious guy, go to Church. You get the idea. Hope this helps.

 

Starting to find a sane person begins with being sane yourself. That's the first step.
If everybody seem not sane but you.......

 

Well-stated

 

Truth! I was thinking this one time when I had met a young lady, we were in those early days, and the red flag... She decided to talk abut her past relationship, and something was wrong with each of them. Sure, that could've been the case, but those flags went up when she made herself out to be an angel and everyone else the devil.

 

Lol people suck. They all do that. Then you're just left finding out the hard way what they're really like. People focus too much on their past and unrealistic expectations of you.

 

Absolutely! I'll be the first to admit... I've done things wrong, made mistakes and so on along with many good things. I get that we all want to paint a good picture in the early days or a relationship/potential relationship, but I don't see the point in attempting to make myself out to be flawless while trashing the ex's.

If someone is talking about their past that much... they may have some unresolved issues.

 

Too right! Meaning they have mental baggage! Ain't no body got time for that. Well yeah its like a job interview you have to talk yourself up to a certain extent lol.

 

Yup, and a certain level of baggage is OK, but I'm not one for a pile of it.

 

Lol. I don't believe in baggage unless I'm checking into a hotel. People create false drama for themselves. I have no time for debbie downers. It's all in the mind man. Nothing is an issue unless you make it an issue.

 

This all day every day and twice on Sunday.

 

A girlfriend I had in the past had too much baggage. We were only 21 at the time. How redicious is it to have baggage at that age. Lol. Been avoiding baggage every since. It's just as unnecessary now as it was then.

 

That's pretty sad. I feel for people stuck in a mental rutt. But I've always been an optimist and struggle to be around people who have a negative outlook in life or always complain or think they have it harder than anyone else.

 

Meh........A lot of people want to be sad and miserable. A good example is in how people voted for Bush twice after things were going great during the Clinton Administration. Now that things are back on track you have people voting for another and perhaps worse version of Bush. I'm not sure if it's really sad if people get what they want.

This quote from the matrix is spot on.

Agent Smith: Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost. Some believed we lacked the programming language to describe your perfect world. But I believe that, as a species, human beings define their reality through suffering and misery. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from. Which is why the Matrix was redesigned to this: the peak of your civilization.

 

That was such a good movie! It's sad in the fact that they live their life with the world on their shoulders stressed messing up their health when all it comes down to is perspective. Of course we've all been through bullshit in our lives but it is what it is. People need to let go. Stop hating on their ex's n shit lol. I've never blamed a single man who left me. Never took it to heart. Some things are meant to be and some just aren't. You have to expect and accept that. And the same goes for whatever else 'goes wrong' in life.

 

Exactly.

I'm not gonna waste my time proving that I'm not a cheater or whatever issue they have blamed for their insecurities. I'll deal with the scorn if I'm the one that caused it. Otherwise I'm out. I understand people are not perfect but I bring no baggage to the table and expect a similar mindset in return.

 

Cheers to that!! Lol. Even if you did cause it it was for reason. I'm a firm believer in what's meant to be will be. And I'm certainly out too if someone is ever second guessing me. Screw that. Not worth making it work when it comes to that.

 

not sure if there is a recipe...I live in on of the most racist cities in America, although they deny it.... I met my ex strangely at a bar where he was working security,,,totally unplanned, And I met him when his cousin, and adorable 5 foot nothing African-American woman felt uncomfortable when she saw 3 guys hitting on me when I had a bit too much too drink,,,she grabbed me off the dance floor and took me over to him, we clicked and stayed together for nearly 6 years, It was the most intense relationship of my , even more so than my marriage,

Now dating sucks the one man i met that there could have been a future with turned out to be my exs best friend's brother. i was not willing to go there, so now i'm laying low. Boston is the smallest town in America, including the suburds where I live now,,always run into someone I know

 

That's really too bad.

The question that comes to my mind when I hear about places like this is, why are you there?

I lived in Rockport for a bit when I was a child and it was a really difficult place to live. While it was beautiful, I found it to be extremely prejudiced, all about one's lineage, etc. That was many years ago.

It just doesn't seem like it's a place that is aligned with what you want in life and there are so many other options out there.

 

It was when I first moved to Boston. It was a club that reminded me of home, it was weekend gig for him,,the first few years were great but he got jealous and possessive. He was more to blame, but I am difficult and don't back down,

It was not the place we met. My point is that things happen when you are not looking many times. Often when we take dating and relationships like a job interview we are not fulfilled.

Oh you meant Boston?? crap LOL. Thought you meant the bar LOL. I lived in Massachusetts, Springfield in the western part of the state when I was married and I have a state pension, that is not transferable to another state. I need to put in 3 more years to retire with full pension, then I am OUT,

As a divorce woman who started a career once my kids were in school, I need to be financially secure, If I marry again it will be out of sheer love and not need,

 

Ah well that makes sense! 3 years will go by quickly.

And yes the whole job interview way of dating doesn't seem to work to well LOL. Actually though I was talking with a friend of mine and she gave a different perspective on that. She said she knows people for whom that method worked well. Some people really want/need their life to be very structured and they seem to do well with it all boxed in. Sortof like the viewing dating/relationships as a business deal.

I think there is something to be said for being logical even regarding relationships, but passion and all doesn't fit neatly on a balance sheet.

Who knows, you met someone there before. Maybe you will meet someone again...someone who's planning to move too!