How Do You Feel About Your Significant Other Having Close Friends of the Opposite Gender?

Your significant other has some close friends of the opposite gender that they text and hang out with (1-on-1) Please discuss your opinion or any experiences relating to this.

 

LOL!!!

Not worth the worry or hassle. I'd treat her as a fuck friend only. She's not relationship material.

Girls with mostly male friends are either hoes or single.

 

I think the key word here would be "girls". He didn't say with "mostly male friends".

I'll let the hoe comment go since I am single. I think the "she's not relationship material" comment is ridiculous. It depends on the situations.

Edited - thought I had separated my post and realized I hadnt.

 

Meh. If that is her situation and I like her it is what it is. I have a lot of woman “associates”, that I talk to and meet up with periodically. Some are close friends and others are just associates.

In my experience, I’ve found that women who mostly hang out with guys get insecure when they find out you have a lot of woman friends.

In addition to that, I am a bit skeptical of people who don’t have many or any friends of the same sex.

 

LA - are you talking about a situation where the woman has "mostly" male friends, or not many female friends?

 

This whole thing has come up for me recently since I started seeing someone new.

I have a couple of male friends I may go to lunch or dinner with occasionally. I like to dance and I'm not going to go by myself so I know a couple of men who may meet me out to dance. They are kindof like my bodyguards and I usually introduce them to women. I'm just going to dance so I prefer to dance with people I know rather than deal with the whole thing where they are trying to hit on me. I feel safer doing things that way. I'm single - have been for a long time, by choice. I've been finding that I haven't been as interested lately, the last time I went I ended up texting him most of the time I was out.

Is it realistic to expect a person to not have any friends of the opposite sex when you meet them? Is it realistic to expect them to dump all friends the minute they meet you? Or at what point is that supposed to happen? So if you stop doing things with your friends of the opposite sex, are you also supposed to cut them off from all communication? Do you feel differently if that friend isn't attractive? Maybe we need to define the term "close friends"??

I think it's more of a process. I'm not one to jump into relationships easily/quickly. I'm not going to totally change my life the minute I meet a man I'm interested in. I do find that I naturally start to shift things the more involved I get with a man. I'm also one who's open about things and any man I get involved with is welcome to meet anyone I know. Actually, that conversation came up - whether or not to talk about such things with someone you are getting involved with. I know some people who say - NOPE....don't say anything. I opted to talk to him about it instead because that's just how I am and I'm just not one to want to have to remember what I did and didn't say. It turned out to be a good choice to have the conversation.

On the other side....I really don't have an issue with a man having women friends. Again, it would depend on the situation and how he is about things. I prefer to deal with mature people.

 

I made a thread on this topic a couple of months ago, I’ll look for it and link it.
I think one should avoid stereotyping people based on their friendships (as in women with loads of male friends are hoes...).
My husband and I have a different take on this issue (which is why I initially started my thread). He has a career that makes him work with mostly women. On top of that he’s more of an extrovert so he has way more friends and acquaintances than I do anyway. He has also had this thing of having a lot of female friends (I mean friends, not ex-sex partners) even from school days. I think it’s part of his personality that made him later become a gynaecologist, he has something that makes women talk with him about all their personal shit;-)
It’s all good and fine. What I do recommend is talking about boundaries of such friendships and about your needs as her partner. And to find out in detail what kind of friends they are, why they are there and what they do together. Talk about in what ways you’d be ok with those friendships continuing and what crosses the line for you.
That way you’ll get a feel for her kind of male friends. If all of them are former dates, sex partners or guys you smell have a non friendly interest in her I’d take that as a red flag.

 

This one definitely depends on the situation. I have plenty of close female friends. They include co-workers, former co-workers, some that I've dated in the past and so on. Some are in other cities and when they're in town... We'll meet for lunch /dinner and so on. Anyone who can't ride with this is not a person for me.

 

Definitely agree. It also depends on who you are dating in my mind. I definitely had boyfriends who earned more trust than others. With my husband I trust him completely so if he said "going out to dinner with a girlfriend" I would have no worries and I would not feel threatened. He has earned that trust over many years and I have with him as well.

 

Close male friends? Usually there is only one or two max. If there is more, the trick is to determine if it is genuine. Don't over think it. Trust your intuition.

If it is genuine then you're very lucky because she knows how to be friends with men, that should carry into your relationship with her.

Follow your gut. You're either gonna find a pot of gold or lump of coal. No middle ground on this one.