How do you feel about marraige?

yes. if that person is the right person.

 

If my man decided he wanted to marry me, and if I felt our marriage was what would benefit our relationship then absolutely!
What is the difference between dating and forming a relationship and loving each other, and getting married and loving each other? Love is love no matter which way a couple chooses to go....



A lifelong commitment to my mate is easy to promise....would it be different if I committed to a lifelong partnering with a white man? While I am on that, why is it we don't refer to a white couple as a "Same race relationship"? :roll:
My man is black, but why must our relationship come with a title?
That is the problem with "titles" like "interracial relationship". It just screams superficialaity......love is NOT a noun....it's a verb. The word interracial IS a noun....
There is NOTHING superficial about the love my man and I share!

If anyone has an issue with my spouse/mate they can just get the chapstick out and pucker up..........I have two cheeks, one for each of their lips.....

 

Although I agree that "titles" are indeed superficial, I think we must fundamentally understand somethings. These titles are not internally hoisted upon our heads. These titles are an external mantle that are usually forced upon everyone. These titles are nothing more that "superficial" and benign handles which we sometimes use to keep things organized and catergorized so that they make some sense. It's another shortcut for us to readily identify and label those phenomenon we come across everyday that suprise us or scare us. The labels serve to alleviate and placate that apprehension. When we start railing against these superficial labels we give these labels added power and credence that they don't deserve. These labels are for others to use not for us to internalize. PEACE!

 

Thanx Webmaster for posing the question..Iam divorced from a White Woman, but we're still friends.
From reading the posts over here, I assume many are single..Marriage is a whole nutha ballgame. And as one might expect game playing at that point can have dire consequences.
Having had relationships with a Korean, a Brazilian(amongst other races) and several White women..I found that with white women, after the initial attraction waned, I couldn't get any soulful intercourse.
From my Brazilian Chica..the vibes were more harmonic.

 

I'm glad for you Mr. Krunch2Wax, but the vibes of which you speak are not a function of race.

 

I agree 100% with this very intelligent individual. Marriage is a form of symbolic interactionism. Basic to the symbolic interactionist perspective is the concept of a symbol. A symbol is something chosen to represent something else. It may be an object, a word, a gesture, a facial expression, or a sound. A symbol is something that is observable, something concrete; but it may represent something that is not observable, but something abstract.

People's interepretations of smybols are based on the meanings they learn from others. People base their interaction on their interepretations of symbols; because, symbols premit people to have internal converations, they can gear their interaction to the behaviour they think others expect of them and they expect of others.

With that said, i think marriage is an failed institution that should be rehashed. Why? People only get married, because society says it is the next logical step of an long term relationship. That marriage is a symbol of your long time commitment to one person. Which is not human nature. This is why the major part of marriages fail.

 

Marriage between a white woman and a black man

Greetings to all!

I'm new to the site, although I have visited it from time to time. When I saw the question about whether or not if I or anyone else involved in a "black/white" relationship would get married I felt inclined to respond. My answer, 100% ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY YES. So, I say this to all of the brothas, if you have a great woman, just go ahead and close the deal. Life is too damn short for what if's and etc. Our type of relationship is the most beautiful of all and it's the ultimate slam in the face to racism. Just a thought for what it's worth....... In the meantime, I hope this message finds you all and finds you all well.

Much Love,
Desdemona's Lover

 

First Im an old user but now with a new name.
The bad of an IR relationship is heard the loudest when the man does something wrong.
A couple is better equipped to marry if there are no family and friends to intervene. Minus nay-sayers, I believe any two people of opposite skincolor will settle down and for more than intermittent cohabitation.

 

Y Not?

Having just gotten married myself, I say go for it.

I used to have the opinion that marriage was only a symbol to everyone else that you are committed. But, now that I have experienced it, I realize that its much deeper than that. In fact as soon as you stand in front of a judge or a priest and commit to each other, whatever their race, it somehow transforms your commitment exponentially.

It is a symbol to the outside world. Instead of introducing your SO as your girlfriend (sounds high schoolish after you get a certain age) or your SO (overly sterile and technical) or your friend (whatever), you can introduce them as your wife/husband. Further some seem to take the relationship more seriously.

But it is more than just a symbol to the outside world. It is also concrete promise that the two of you have made to each other that you can point to and build on. That does not guarantee that it will last, but it is a good foundation for a long term relationship. You promised through the good times and the bad. So, you just don't up and leave as soon as either of you is in a bad situation and your required to work a little harder to stay together.

 

YES!

Both my partner and I are divorced and we both said "never again" but we fell so in love that we changed our minds (sickening I know!).

A few months ago I phoned him and asked him if he'd marry me, it wasn't a proposal as such, just a question that required a yes or no answer...and he said yes! But we've not made anymore plans for it since then as it's difficult (he lives in Holland and I in England), plus I fell pregnant so baby stuff is priority at the moment. But we will do it, maybe before the baby is born, or maybe afterwards, depending on how things are and how much bigger I get!

My partner keep saying that he thinks we should do things "properly", (IE him proposing to me with a ring etc) but I tell him that's not necessary. We've both been married before and our relationship has never been conventional before so why start now? I like that we've done things our way and not societies way, but I think he feels that it's a man's job to do the asking etc.

I think that if you're prepared to make a commitment to someone and you're not opposed to marriage, then the colour of skin that your partner has shouldn't make a difference when deciding if to get married or not. Only your views on marriage should determine whether you IE the knot or not.

 

I did got married two years ago. It was more of a spiritual
wedding. A real good question on this forum would be who
doesn't want to get married. I've seen the poll results and it's
says 27 do and 2 don't.....so who is the two? are they afraid to discuss
their reasons?

 

One of my closest friends of nearly 15 years is finally going to 'tie the knot.' Through conversation, we asked ourselves how is marriage beneficial to a man? Like most things of this nature, because each of our views are either left or right, we agreed to degree that marriage is an accessory to a man's self-worth. But, I pondered the question a bit deeper. Is it really an accessory to a man's self-worth, or is it an testament of a women's self-image? If so, then what is the point of a man getting married?

From my observation, the majority of women will never marry down, and a reasonable attractive female will always marry up. It seems, that marriage is exclusively beneficial to women. She basically has all the loaded weapons of a marriage, and can make a man bend at will through contempt. For the life of me, I do not understand why that most men are blind to the possibility.

Or do men consciously feel obligated to marry as an declaration of feelings and commitment? Giving the state of relationships, the increased divorce rates, which im sure EVERY man is aware of. Why bother? Why marry? For men, we talking about a near destruction of financial earning. Especially, if you are one in high powered careers.

 

Re: Tying the knot --- around my neck?

Yes, I agree 100%. Marriage is an imbalance. A far extreme favouring women, with absolutely no thought of man. Men have become disposal objects. Men are no longer desirable to women beyond what they can gain. Men are no longer qualified as human. Which is sad really. There is not one women alive who is not out to improve their abysmal image through marriage.

Marriage is definitely a risky proposition for all men.

 

I don't think it's fair to say that men are disposable, but some women will treat them that way regardless of whether they've tied the knot or not.

However, I do feel that marriage is largely in favour of women, particularly when it comes to divorce settlements! It really pisses me off when a couple divorce and straight away the woman is thinking how she can screw every last penny out of her soon to be ex husband...how that is relative to what they had while they were together I do not know. My Uncle divorced and during that process his wealthy mother died. Needless to say my uncle's wife's solicitor wrote a letter straight away asking for a cut of the inheritance!

In the UK, married tax allowance has been abolished (I think) but unmarried fathers do not have full paternal rights of their own children until they get married, even if the live with the mother of the children (I think). Men are pretty screwed in the marriage department.

But as a divorcee I can say that it not always easy for women either. I left my ex husband (for very good reason) and didn't ask for a penny. All I left with was my own personal possessions, a fridge freezer and my all but one pet. The bastard wouldn't let me take one of the dogs then he sold it anyway. Getting a divorce wasn't easy, even though I was the one who had been wronged. So I think we have to look at it on an individual basis, but on the whole, men probably have the most to lose from getting married.

 

Then my next question to women is. Why infringe marriage onto a man? If this is a person you 'love.' Why would you want to do inconceivable harm to his wealth? Probably a thing he worked his whole life for. And no, I am not talking about accumulated wealth during marriage. I speak in which of the wealth he accumulated before marriage.

 

I use to feel the same way. It wasnt that I didnt want to ever get married, I just couldnt see the point in it. Now, due to life circumstances, I see there are legal benefits that only married people get.

*Your social security can only be passed on to your husband or child. If you die single and childless, the government keeps it even though you worked all those years and paid into it.

*Your company retirment (depending on how it is set up) can only be drawn upon by your legal husband if you should die before you retire. Personally, I have worked to hard and put up with too much shit to have them keep anything I earned.

 

When I think of marriage, I remember a comment I read on the internet, written by one Russian lady:
"I've lived with my husband for 20 years. We spend every day and night together, we love each other, cherish our relationship, and every day starts with a kiss and an "I love you".
We live alone on an "undiscovered island", there is no one here besides us. We are not crazy, we have a successful business, friends who love us, a bunch of relatives, who love to stay over. It's just important to maintain your dignity in every situation... It's especially important to respect your husband. Because he's the one you have chosen for life!"
:!:

 

So, you agree that the business approach is better for the marriage long term? So pre-nups should be erected into marriages by the gov't also heh? At least both parties get protected.

 

It is too bad that in reality, the hottest love, has the coldest end. At least, this is how it works in western society. On a side note, i find that alot of Russian women are beautiful.