How do YOU deal with all the prejudice?

I would like to know how all of YOU deal with it in your own lives. This idea came to me while reading through some of the threads here in the forums from those who claim that they 'don't care what society thinks' and so on, but when I read in between the lines of what some people protest about in here pertaining to the prejudice, I am getting another story from it all, so, yea, I'm putting some of you on the spot with this here thread. :wink: How do YOU REALLY handle the prejudice in YOUR OWN lives, and what kinds of it do you experience, as well as who is spewing it at you? And why do they?



Please... only honest answers here.

 

I honestly do not experience much bigotry for being with black men. Only occasionally will it pop up and slap me in the face. Like yesterday, I went out to eat with a black boyfriend. We walked into an itallian restraunt and had dinner. Aftewards, he remarked "did you see all those people starin when we walked in?" I just joked and said that if he walked in I would be staring at him also. He is too handsome.

The truth is I rarely noticed it. I rarely do notice people and they have to go out of their way for me to take notice, positive or negative. When it does happen, I usually go out of my way to be nice and respectful, introduce myself and show them that I am not their enemy.

 

When it's people I know [work with] I try using reason and logic but when that does not work, I go with the "I'll just ignore them" tactic.
I don't know how effective reasoning and logic has been because racism is about ill-logic, ignorance and fear run amok.
I work in the corporate world for a Fortune 20 company... Many "educated" people who make money with reason and logic [and a 60 hour work week] but the racism is there just under the surface with many of those same people.

Part of me wants to "fight the good fight" and part of me thinks "to each his/her own".

When it's people I don't know/work with, I ignore them.

 

Didn't have much prejudice to deal with, or at least I didn't give much importance to it. While walking on the street with my bf, people did stare, but only the older ones really stared, the young ones are just surprised and friendly (tried explaining that to my bf, he finally believed me when he got to talk to some and saw they are so friendly and hospitable and don't stare for other reason just the unusualness of seeing a white girl and black boy) -anyway, the stares, I ignored them. While in a club or restaurant, the same, never had other problem but little looks. While talking to my guy over yahoo I always had his pic up and have a lot of colleagues from work on my list, nobody ever said anything. My Father says to date anyone I please, my Mom would've said the same. I guess I'm lucky?
Only one I had prejudice from was my aunt from my Dad's side. I was with my bf for 6 months at the time and I was sometimes talking to her about him too. I thought I told her he's black, I guess it just slipped my mind, didn't find it so relevant. Anyway, the day I showed her a picture she freaked out. I have never seen that woman like that in my life, got scared of her.
Started yelling, crying, saying I deserve better, I'm a beautiful, intelligent, educated, young girl, whats wrong with me, begged me with tears in her eyes to go to the church so God will put my brains back in place" !!!!!!!!
First I laughed and looked at her like "You can't be serious". Then I got shocked and asked her if she's allright or needs a brain check. Then seeing she doesn't stop and went to my Dad to tell him "Did u know your daughter is seeing a BM, how can you tolerate this? and my dad laughed at her and basically couldnt be bothered) I got mad and left her alone in the room, telling her that she can't tell me who to love and if she doesn't respect my choices (my man), she doesn't respect me. She stayed alone in our house untill she got bored and left. She has helped me a lot in my life, but really, thats not an area I allow anyone to interfere in (my personal life). Next times she came to our house I was very, very cold with her, basically showing her Im upset. After 2 weeks she came and appologized saying she's ignorant, she lived most of her life in the countryside and thats why she has this stuck up mentality, she said she was being stupid and to forgive her, all that matters is that Im happy.
Thats all !

 

I just realized that I have no idea whether they stare or not. I know that when I am with him I am in a haze of pride and adoration. Are there other people around us?!?

 

I can assume for the moment that you actually did luck out with YOUR parents, Seychelles (interesting name by the way), and if you read through the rest of these forums, you'll see what I mean, you know, with all the stories from white women about their parents reaction to them being with a black man (I guess Lainy lucked out too)

and, thanks for resurrecting my thread with that post. It was a vital read. :wink:

 

I know, I read this forum for more than a year.
Seychelles - archipelago in the Indian Ocean, northeast of Madagascar .
YW :roll:

 

That's kind of how I feel. One time we were at a restaurant and I did notice an older guy that kept staring at us - so I made it a point to keep my hand on his knee/thigh the whole time, or reached over and rubbed is shoulder. Work, work, work! :wink:

Like another poster said, I usually assume people are doing double takes b/c he's so good looking. I know I did the first time I saw him!

 

To be completely honnest, I haven't noticed any prejudices.

Early in the relationship my boyfriend started preparing me for the worst. Saying my family and friends would disown me, there would be no way we could walk hand in hand on the street etc. He was talking from earlier experience though. But I haven't noticed anything here. And neither has he actually.

My father was the only person I feared would have problems with our relationship, but when I broke the news to him, by showing him a picture of my boyfriend smiling nicely into the camera, he just laughed and said "Hell, how am I supposed to see anything from that picture. All I can see is teeth." I know that comment might seem awfull, but that's just my Dad's way of saying "He looks like a desent man. If he makes you happy, I'm happy for you."

 

Say WHAT?!?

I guess you COULD come to that conclusion. YOU know him best.

But...

I'm just...

Gimme a moment...

Must...wrap...brain...around...info...

***BLADAOOOWWW! Lucifer's Brain explodes!***

 

HAHAHAHA

I know...

But you see, my father is a real macho-man - trying to be anyway- so he hardly ever say something nice directly. He'll always wrap it in some kind of bad joke. If he wasn't ok with my seeing a black guy, he would have told me in plain words. He sertainly wouldn't laugh and make a joke about it.

 

As long as it doesn't invade my space I move on from it. And hurl an insult back.

 

Dealing with Prejudice....

8) When I was younger I thought I had something to prove, but now there are much more pressing matters.The days of the poorly written sitcom where some kind of political statement is attempted at being made because an interracial couple walks into a diner are over.
The idea of someone's disapproval making me feel uncomfortable is silly.People are prejudiced over numerous reasons, and hell, people could be against me because I have a foot and tickle fetish and the results would be the same.
So I just ignore it now, and seek out the people who agree rather than try and change people's minds who don't.

 

For the most part I ignore it and go about my business. Comments and questions can be different for me because I have a black child. People will often engage me in conversation saying how cute she is or whatever and then say or ask some ridiculous question. Sometimes I try to consider where they are coming from and it may be that they really have no experience and are genuinely interested. I mean there are white people who have never touched black skin or hair. For those who say really outrageous things...I have been known to say something equally as outrageous (but probably way more clever) back.

Often though when I am asked things...I simply say - why do you ask? I think often times people are rude and just don't realize how intrusive they may be.

When out with a black man...again I go about what I'm doing. I tend to be more focused on who I am with than what anyone around me is doing. I mean I'm very aware of my surroundings but I just don't give any attention to BS.

I think too that sometimes alot of it is where you are coming from. I come from that people will treat me well and that they are kind. I always try to be kind and respectful to those around me. I don't walk in somewhere with a chip on my shoulder.

 

When the predjudice of White males and some White females stare or make comments I just ignore them. They don't rule my world or space and most of all they are not the almighty race that is trying to put the Black man down.

 

dealing with predujice

When we go out, we tend to get looks from older white couples, some black girls, and some white guys. Just last night there were some black girls that were talking about me. Steve told me whenever black girls talk, it just means they are jealous cuz i look good and i'm smart. But we left. It was sooo uncomfortable for me, but Steve actually decided to leave. For the most part, we do not have such opposition because we live in a great neighborhood. However, when we do go out, we don't really concentrate on others. But if we see someone staring at us, we usually will hug, or kiss or just get closer. But I do understand that some people were raised with the thinking that it's wrong. We do have a daughter and she is gorgeous. Every time we go somewhere with her, people always do compliment us and her. That never fails. Though once in a while, some people will look like 'what in the world did they do'. But oh well.