How attractive are the personal quality/attributes of a man?

In my opinion, there are quite obviously two main facets to being attracted to someone personally. Basically, their looks and personality.

Now their looks constitute only the physical attributes they have. For example; hair color/texture, build, eyes, face etc.

If, for example, you are attracted to the physical features of a black man - then you will like a specific type of look. Hair, eyes, nose, lips, build, skin color/texture etc. Maybe you have a specific mental template of the type of guy you wish to date - and it corresponds with black males.

Now this attraction will be irrespective of whether the guy has a personality or not.


Take me, for instance - I like white women. Or to be more precise, I have a strong preference for white women. When I see a particular type of look (fair skin/N.European features/blue eyes etc.) I am immediately sexually turned on - even before I have got to know them. Now they could turn out to be complete biatches afterwards... but right then and there I am physically attracted to them.

Technically a lot of the girls on this website aren't really BM lovers. The reason I say this is becoz they have an interest in a variety of men - not in particular black men. Not that there is anything wrong with that, of course, but it does illustrate that perhaps a lot of the BM they are going out with have many deeper qualities.

I'm wondering how much importance women place in these deeper qualities - specially the ones here on this web forum (since they DO date inter-racially). For example, qualities like being someone who stands up for their convictions, or that will challenge those who they see doing wrong, or being loyal and faithful... attributes that I can only describe as "personal qualities".

How much does this geniunely matter to you when dating a BM?

I know a lot of people say this is really important to them, but often they are just lying or saying it to sound good. Truly how important is it to you girls to be dating a man of courage, strength, truthfulness and faithfullness? Where abouts is it on your list?
And to what degree have you seen this in the BM you have dated? Does it vary, or have you found that in general (with a few exceptions) that the BM in your life have been highly decorated with these "personal qualities"?



And a question for the brothas on this board -- how important is it to you that a woman (especially a WW - including ones you are not that serious about) find you attractive for your qualities (as described above), not your physical attributes?

And although this might sound like a weird question, which type of man would you prefer your daughter dating -- a man who exceeds in physical attributes or a man who exceeds in these "qualities" (regardless of the race of the man)?

 

It is a good question. And I agree that if women are honest they will say that they have a vision in their mind of what thier perfect mate will look like. That being said....looks may get you a drink... looks may even get you a one nighter... but if the person isn't beautiful on the inside, doesn't treat you kindly and with respect, fuck, he could look like Gary Dourdan but I wouldn't have a real relationship with him.

I have had relationships with many different ethnic men and I have fallen for black men... so I am a lover of bm. I honestly can't see myself now or anytime in the near future dating any man who isn't black. I love the contrast in our skin color when intimate... i love the feel of his hair.. he loves the feel of mine. the way he touches and talks, thinks and argues just make the package complete.

 

Re: How attractive are the personal quality/attributes of a

I don't think that a relationship based on looks alone, have much of a chance in the long run. However, I don't think it's possible to fall in love with a person you acctually find ugly. A "plain" person can grow on you though, as you learn to know his/her inner qualities.

I've had 3 boyfriends (long term). One where short and skinny (and bald), one where tall and, to be frank, quite overweight (with long hair), and my current boyfriend has average height and weight (short hair). The two first ones where white. However they have all been intelligent, patient and compassionate with a good sense of humour. Based on this, I think I can say that I don't go after a certain look, but rather after certain inner qualities.

 

Nicely put, ladebabern: "I love the contrast in our skin color when intimate... i love the feel of his hair.. he loves the feel of mine. the way he touches and talks, thinks and argues just make the package complete."

The qualities I look for in a man include:
Generous in spirit rather than money
Sensitive not dependant
Confident not arrogant
Honest not deceitful
Adventurous not unfaithful
Emotional but not a train wreck
... has to have read at least 3 books in his life - graphic novels don't count. :wink:

As to the physical.... I go for lean, not fat

So far, so good. :wink:

So it's obvious I don't go for thugs and ganstas...