Hostilities towards mixed raced couples

Discussion in 'Dealing with Prejudice' started by pauluha, Nov 13, 2006.

  1. pauluha

    pauluha New Member

    I'm a black man of West African origin, my wife is Italian, On Saturday, we were shopping at our local Morrisons when we encountered this white woman at the checkout who was particularly nasty towards us, she achieved this purely by body language and i.e, flinging our shopping items across so fast that my wife who is usually very quick at filling the shopping bags was completely overwhelmed, she (my wife) noticed it and mentioned it to me in Itlaian, I acknowleged it and just smiled, helped to put the shopping away and off we went, even when she handed us the change and receipt, she was looking elsewhere That was the second hostile incident we've received, the first was from a BW at a check out in wilkinsons. Each time we've in such situations, I'm upset and I want to say one or two things but then I stop myself because it is difficult to build a case. Also I try to rationalise it by remembering some instances where we've been shown some unexpected kindness by WW and BW; once we walked into a coffee shop in Central London and there was a BM behind the counter and as we were about to pay, he said, 'this one is on the house,' I'd never seen this guy before, but I'll forever remember it and feel good. HAs anyone else been in such situation? And how did they deal with it?
     
  2. SardonicGenie

    SardonicGenie New Member

    I've personally never experienced this sort of thing, but there is no denial of it ever happening for sure, especially within these forums, but my guess as to how IR couples normally deal with it is pretty similar to how you did, and just take that experience for what it is, as well as the good one with the white and black women being openly friendly to you, and the black man who offered you free coffee: People are people, and the world is much smaller than you may think.
     
  3. designer

    designer New Member

    I’ve had people [mostly white males] stare and we got some “curiosity” looks from women [both black and white] but I’ve yet to have any flat out rude people speak or act out.
    It is usually more subtle where I live and it may be because they think I will kick their asses or something but that is not the case with me now. 8)
    I am more likely to take the high road when I do run into the more backwards or rude types of people.

    I live in Atlanta and there are still many people that have issues with IR but to date, they have yet to be totally rude – to me anyway. :roll:
     
  4. irisrett

    irisrett New Member

    i live in tennessee, have had an instance of and older white couple who stared and gave looks to me and my man at a restraunt.

    also i was fired from a job for dating my bm because of a bw who was a manager there and did not like the fact that i was with a bm, i know this but could not prove it.
     
  5. pauluha

    pauluha New Member

    Interesting contributions! I think I'm pretty much resigned to just letting things be, we get 'it' from both sides anyway, I just feel sorry for the so called people who give us 'the treatment', I really do.
     
  6. designer

    designer New Member

    ^^^ I hear you.
    Hang in there...
     
  7. hephaestus

    hephaestus New Member

    morrisons - wilkinsons

    Well if one chooses to shop in Morrisons and Wilkinsons then one will always encounter riff-raff, try Sainsburys and Tesco.... :D

    Whilst I hope you know I'm joking - I shop all over, myself.

    May be ask the check out girl / lady "Is there a problem, because you seem very uptight?" Its possible that their attitude didn't have anything to do with race - just is their way of doing their job - or did their boss just kick their ass. Asking a question does help to get to the bottom of any perceived issues - and if they were acting in a prejudiced fashion it might help to confront the issue more centrally in their mind and of course depending on their response might help to expose their real attitude.

    I can't see that it would be wrong to ask them such a thing or even to ask "hows your day going for you" - because when folks are acting prejudiced it really zaps their minds with a big dose of confusion.
    Whilst their in the confused state then ask them another question or make a funny / jokey comment - then see if their original behaviour / thought /emotion collapses in the heat of their brains confusion.
     
  8. QSSassy

    QSSassy New Member

    I can't stand people like that. Makes you want to ask to see their supervisor.

    I've only had it that open once. It was here in the Los Angeles area and the guy I was dating wanted to go into Body and Bath in the mall. He had a question about a product and the clerk refused, no matter how much he conversed with her to look at him. She would look at me, but she was obviously very againts anyone black. I was so upset, but Jorge told me to let it go. I never shopped there at that store again.
     
  9. AquaPeach

    AquaPeach New Member

    Hey Sassy, you're in LA? I'm going there next month on business...can't wait! :!: A reprieve from this frigid city called Toronto. :lol: Los Angeles is a beautiful city.
     
  10. AquaPeach

    AquaPeach New Member

    I'm going at the end of March, from the 20th to the 24th.
     
  11. AnMDBCartoon

    AnMDBCartoon New Member

  12. LA

    LA Well-Known Member

    You're so right about that.

    [​IMG]

    I [​IMG] LA. :D
     
  13. AquaPeach

    AquaPeach New Member

    Where is Valencia?
     
  14. LA

    LA Well-Known Member

    30 minutes north of Los Angeles.
     
  15. QSSassy

    QSSassy New Member

    maybe we all need to get together... go out to dinner or something..
     

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