xoxo
Well-Known Member
I'm the woman at the party hiding behind the potted plant with a ginger ale because she's so uncomfortable she's nauseated and can't drink![]()
[YOUTUBE]Kpw3rcY8eHo[/YOUTUBE]
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I'm the woman at the party hiding behind the potted plant with a ginger ale because she's so uncomfortable she's nauseated and can't drink![]()
Yes, I did, and would have felt the same at 15. I loved dancing and acting and modeling, but all of those allowed me 1. Control and 2. To be someone else when I was in the spotlight.
I'm the woman at the party hiding behind the potted plant with a ginger ale because she's so uncomfortable she's nauseated and can't drink![]()
[YOUTUBE]Kpw3rcY8eHo[/YOUTUBE]
Why are you so uncomfortable?
Fair enough. Would you have felt the same way at 22 though?
But I'm not comfortable, because I feel like the person they're flocking to IS that charisma, that persona - not the woman who wakes up in the morning with her hair askew, not the woman who cries when she hurts, or who gets angry or is in any way less than in control and in charge. I end up feeling like I have to perform that persona like a trained seal.

This is going to sound egotistical. I have a fair amount of what I guess could be called charisma. I have the tendency to become the center of attention - to end up being the one in the center, telling the jokes, having people flock to me in group situations. But I'm not comfortable, because I feel like the person they're flocking to IS that charisma, that persona - not the woman who wakes up in the morning with her hair askew, not the woman who cries when she hurts, or who gets angry or is in any way less than in control and in charge. I end up feeling like I have to perform that persona like a trained seal.
It's just not comfortable to have to be "on" all the damned time. It gets tiring.
Damn you mofos are so vaunerable who knew? lol
We're all humans and there are settings where I feel more comfortable than others but I have long ago realized that people have a short attention span and will rarely remember the times you consider embarassing. I made an ass of myself when I was 15 singing for my ex at her school on her bday thinking it would be romantic since I saw it on tv. Really bad move. She had a look of horror that mirrored a murder victim. We ran into each other not too long ago and just have a good laugh about it now. I'd rather regret the things I've done than the things I didn't and at the time I loved that girl, well as much as a 15 year old could and I am happy I took a chance to express that. It's preparing me to give my all to the right woman. No holding back life is too short to hold back. Just my bs philosophy I guess.
You smoke :smt107:Not bullshit, just your way. I still cringe over embarrassing things I did when I was six LOL
I do not like being out of control, ever, except in very private situations. That's just *my* way. I can't fault someone else for being different, but people who know me know I wouldnt welcome being put on the spot in public.
Years ago I had a friend who had a dinner party at Christmas...we all cooked, and this was her idea of a gift to us. So, I'm sitting at a table with 20 people knowing only three of them and she announces "So, everyone, Pixie is a witch. Pixie, say something witchy."
Thank gods the guy I knew was a guyl who was a client I read cards for, and he'd gotten me totally high on our way to the dinner, or I think I would have chucked a plate of rolls at her.
So, I'm sitting at a table with 20 people knowing only three of them and she announces "So, everyone, Pixie is a witch. Pixie, say something witchy."
Thank gods the guy I knew was a guyl who was a client I read cards for, and he'd gotten me totally high on our way to the dinner, or I think I would have chucked a plate of rolls at her.

You smoke :smt107:
Nice:grin:
burn the witch!!
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i was meaning to catch this earlier today on tv (the crucible)....damn..
I love to see stories like this. They're both talented athletes and she's gorgeous (have you seen her legs?) And surprisingly (or maybe not so much considering it was the Huffington Post site), the racist comments were kept to a minimum. We can only hope they actually hook up!
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Wow, she is beautiful.
Wow, she is beautiful.