Here we go again - pedophiles in schools

15/16...makes no difference in how I feel about this. She gave him drugs? Shocking, what with her high-level decision making skills in the other aspects of her life. I'm sure he never had access to drugs before that. You act like he's 7 when you talk about him being "groomed". This was a horny teenager who changed his tune when mommy found out. You know how many times the story can change when dude's thinking his moms about to whoop his ass? Go ahead though...paint this young MAN as a confused, groomed, abused little boy. Don't get mad when these kids grow up knowing nothing of personal responsibility for their actions. It's funny how if a 15-16 year old commits a crime, he's most often "adult" enough to be held responsible for his actions but when he fucks the shit out of his teacher, we look for any reason to make him a victim. As a true victim of rape, I have tremendous respect for those of us who find a way to persevere and attempt some normalcy in life. I don't respect someone using accusations of rape as a means to make a dollar, such as this guy. He wasn't a victim until he got caught.

 

Wow game over and good point. If I am responsible for my decisions when I commit a crime as a teenager why not sex?
Also I'm curious what if the person having sex with them was 19 or 20 does the attitude change?
And do I groom every woman I take out to dinner and give gifts to?

 

So, you don't believe statutory rape is real whether the law says so and so does the nation. OK. So, you want to blame victims of statutory rape and say that they are just out for a dollar. OK. I already understood your opinions on statutory rape, but thank you for further clarifying further. As a true victim of rape (at the hands of a woman), I find your views alarming and disgusting. But, you are entitled to your opinion.

 

Here's my issue with victims though. All situations are no identical though so you can't apply your circumstances to this situation. Then again I've never been in the situation so what do I know. I just know I've been 16 and at that point in my life there's no way I would have said no unless I wasn't attracted to her and if I wasn't attracted no sex would happen. It's just not the same sorry

 

The article mentioned he wasn't 16, he was 15. He is currently suing now at the age of 16.

My situation is one that is often laughed at, argued, and I was often blamed for what happened to me. I, however, never sued anyone for what happened to me. When money is involved people often start to question the victim and their motives. In my experience, people often start to question the victim when he happens to be a male raped by a woman.

I have noticed the differences in opinions of when a man statutory rapes a male victim, or when a man statutory rapes a female victim, the outrage is there. But, when a male is a victim of any form of rape, there often seems to be a lot of questions, laughing, and jokes. I was often called, "ungrateful" by dumbass people, because in their mind "pussy is pussy" (apparently even when it is unwanted sex). But, I understand you two aren't here to discuss my experiences, and as I mentioned before, I understand your positions, although I will never agree with them.

I would also like to add, that I was an adult when I was raped by a woman who felt entitled to my body. I just follow cases that affect males and I always find the opinions, victim blaming, and jokes to fall in line with my own experience.

 

I happen to find your views incredibly narrow minded, but you're certainly entitled to them. As TDK mentioned, not all cases of statutory rape are equal. Sometimes it's fully consensual but because of our laws, it's grounds for legal action. That is incredibly unfortunate imo. Rape is not something I take lightly so to see people throw that term around for what was clearly imo CONSENUAL sex, it's frustrating to say the least. I was raped, i.e. sex against my will, forced. So pardon me for taking issue with a horny teenager feeling he's entitled to sympathy or anything else, because he has buyers remorse. I don't believe he was groomed. I don't believe he did anything against his will. I don't believe he was "raped". I don't think every person who claims rape is actually a victim of rape. I've seen ulterior motives time and time again so while I respect and sympathize with rape victims, I also believe some accusations are bs.

And I do take great issue with our laws surrounding statutory rape. Just because it's a law doesn't mean it's necessarily appropriate. You have any idea the hundreds/thousands of outdated laws in this country? Do you believe each and every one of them to be warranted, just because they've always been in place?? Times change, our governing laws should evolve as well when necessary.

 

Sorry to hear that. Its not at all funny bro. I know it's possible because an erection is an involuntary response. How did that happen if you don't mind me asking.

 

I already mentioned how I felt about your views, so, I don't need to repeat them. Rape is not something I take lightly having been raped. Statutory rape is not something I take lightly either. You already mentioned that you don't believe he was raped. I said I understood that is the way you feel. I completely disagree. If you feel that laws protecting 15 year old boys and girls from sexual predators aged 28 and up are outdated, then that is just your opinion (an opinion that I completely disagree with), and you are entitled to it.

 

I actually thought about talking about it previously, but it isn't easy for me to go into detail as I start getting shaking and feel ill. It happened almost 8 years ago, but it feels like it was not so long ago. I don't think this forum is a good place for it based on this thread as I have already dealt with plenty of jokes, victim-blaming, accusations of homosexuality, disbelief, excuses being made on behalf of the rapist and so on. I am seeing similar things here. So, I think I will pass.

 

I don't think any law protecting anyone (regardless of age) from sexual predators is outdated. You and I define "predator" vastly different though so we'll likely never see eye to eye on this topic, which is perfectly ok.

 

Understandable.

 

MKM.....I'm very sorry that happened to you. NO ONE should ever have to go through that....EVER! I can certainly understand you not wanting to go into details on this forum. It's really too bad that it's like that. I think more men need to speak out and maybe people would be able to better understand.

I agree with the points you made.

I have to wonder if I may have thought differently before I had children (boys and girls), even though I have been a victim myself. I also have to wonder if some of the people who are so outspoken against this boy would feel the same if he was their child.

I really think it's a shame that people dismiss and joke about any of this.

There is a reason there is an age of consent and the bottom line is that prior to that age they are not capable of giving consent. If you don't like it, do something to change the laws. Regarding the whole idea of children being tried as adults when they commit certain crimes, that doesn't happen very often, even though this thread would have us all believe differently.

The whole horny teen thing .....not much different than the things that used to be said about young girls. "She wanted it, she liked all the gifts and all the attention..." On and on it goes. It took us a long time to recognize how wrong these things were when it was a female victim and there are still many times when people still blame the victims. We haven't even begun to realize that the same things are happening with male victims.

Rape is an act of violence; however, it doesn't always look violent. Children who are groomed may even say they want to have sex with their predator, that does NOT mean they are not a victim.

Adults are supposed to look out for children/teenagers, they aren't supposed to use them for their own sick gratifications. The woman is clearly a predator and it's disgusting. I would bet that the same who are arguing against that would be the first to be up in arms if it was their boy or girl who had the same things happen to them.

 

Man this thread is incredible frustrating.

I'm really disappointed seeing this come from you. Your usually on point with your posts but this is unbelievable sinking making his rape less than yours saying "as a true rape victim" SMH. Rape is rape point blank period. It's a violation of the mind, body, and soul. Physical force and intimidation do not have to be involved in rape, and often times aren't.



You've been incredibly presumptuous this whole thread. I know this is a big surprise to you, but their are many, many, MANY teenagers out there who were never taught what personal boundaries are or what inappropriate touching is. Fuck their's grown ass adults being raped everyday by the same fucking person over and over but it continues to happen for whatever reason.


Their's a host of reasons why this teenager did not break off contact and they are usual much more complicated than "being a horny teenager".


I'm not understanding why your upset with him suing. This is the typical course of action point blank period when people experience injustice no matter what form it comes in. I'm sure as hell he also had people in his ear such as his parents and lawyers pressing him to sue as well.

Honestly I just get the feeling this story brings floods your brain of bad memories of trauma you've experienced. Sorry if I crossed the line with you or any other survivors.




Anyway, I highly suggest you guys to read




http://www.amazon.com/Betrayal-Bond-Breaking-Exploitive-Relationships/dp/1558745262/


and educate yourselves on why people such as this teenager would continue to go back to this woman if he felt that he was being abused.

 

North....I have to say that I really appreciate the things you have said on this thread.

 

I totally am presumptuous here but I'm simply giving my opinion based on the information we have. I have both a son and a daughter and if I found myself in this situation Id need a very long, detailed conversation with them to get a feel for their mindset. To me, female or male student, makes no difference. If they were pressured in any form, I'll go down swinging on their attacker, believe that. But sometimes it's truly consensual (I recognize the law doesn't see it this way) until the student thinks they're in trouble. I was a 14-15 year old girl who used to hang out with and date older guys 18-20. My mom called the police, raised complete hell once when she found out. She didn't think I was old enough to make the decisions I was making (que the one size fits all statutory rape laws) but I knew exactly what I was doing and it was completely consensual. I think some people are mature beyond their years so to paint every minor as a victim is too broad a movement for me. That's just my personal opinion and I recognize its not very PC. The teacher deserves whatever's coming to her because she knowingly broke the law. I have no patience or sympathy for her, but I wouldn't describe her as a predator.

I know you feel strongly about this topic, and I know my posts come off harsh at times (usually because I write quickly and don't take the time to edit for PC-ness). It's really not meant disrespectfully, I just don't mince my words but I know sometimes I could benefit from being a little less blunt with my opinions lol. My opinions are based on my experiences and probably won't change but I wasn't trying to minimize rape. My issues are with statutory rape laws and those who take advantage of them, not with rape victims.

 

Real talk, my girlfriend is a survivor and it fucks me up everyday.... I'm having such a hard time processing and accepting what happened the last few months. I never felt comfortable posting about here but I have posted about it in other places. I'm only posting the story for understanding. It's a copy and paste job.


People asked me for a update to my story on the forum a year ago and I wrote

Man I've gone thru so much shit with my mother I do not remember it all but the worst is what I've experienced first hand with my girlfriend this past year. It takes a very special type of person to remain supportive of a abuse survivor instead of walking out on them. I had no idea how how abuse affects the human physce until I met my gf, depression, anger, self esteem, weight, trust, relationships etc I'm writing this part to let y'all know I was no saint either and I played a role in her mistrust of people.

This is going to be a super long read...

Before I met my girlfriend, I was living the good life. I was married with no trouble at home but also had numerous side chicks eating my cake too, I never got caught. I had a tight ass job within a hotel working as a military contractor as a liaison. All I did was sit in my office, check in military applicants and babysat them by shooting the breeze with them just talking or playing video games.

As you can imagine, I had a bunch of young fine ass females come thru and I could of easily took them to rooms to fuck but I took my job very seriously at the time so I didn't really pay these females any mind at the time.

A couple months into the job, I met my girlfriend for the first time. As she was walking thru the office door, she had this huge grin on her face and I remember her recruiter Sgt. Smith telling her do not leave the hotel premises, matter of fact, don't even leave your room to stay out of trouble. Her guardians (mainly her Uncle) was worried about her getting into trouble. She was joining the army, wanted to be military police.

My girlfriend sat down, Sgt.Smith made sure she was cool and dipped after I gave her the briefing. Usually applicants get the fuck out of dodge after I give my 5 minute monotone briefing which feels like a hours but she continued to sit there and we start chatting. She wanted a room to herself but I say fuck no, I know your trouble and I can tell your the type who gets her way all the time. Truthfully I didn't like her at first because I thought she was a entitled bitch by her pretty looks.

She had a smart mouth and she liked that I had a smart mouth too so we got along very well talking for a while. She recognizes that she saw me before, she says I had a blue shirt and I was like oh shit you saw me on Hot or Not. I have a lil internet fame. People would check in and she'd patiently wait till they left so she'd have my full attention again.

Hours go by and she still didn't even leave to check out her room yet, she just rather talk, joke, and bullshit with me. We get to family and she tells me she lives with her aunt, aunts husband, and uncle. She speaks very highly of her uncle and grandfather who was currently in the hospital in bad shape. She says that her uncle is very classy, old school, and a stand up man who puts up with no bullshit. She was joining the Army to make them proud. Basically nobody will ever take her uncles or grandfathers place.

She grows tired and retreats to her room, I wanted to ask her for her number but she is 17, her birthday was in a month but I still wasn't comfortable having it so I just told her nice meeting you and good luck with everything. This was in November.

In January, she comes back to the hotel for some shit like a lot of military applicants do, they didn't pass something at MEPS or didn't have a document, I've seen people come back more than 7 times.

She comes back this time, she's so happy to see me and I'm very happy to see her as well. This was my new buddy. We talk for hours, and like the first time, she never left my desk except to go eat like the first time. I ask her about her family and she doesn't speak so highly of her uncle like the first time, said he was getting on her nerves and we moved to the next topic.

We went to the pool area of the hotel and I later informed her that I was married with kids. Soon as I said that, it was as if her world turned upside down, her whole expression changed and I felt like shit. I thought we were friends so I didn't understand why she was acting like this. I left shortly after because my shift was over and the mood became very awkward. I did manage to get her number tho.

Earlier in the day she called her mom and asked me to talk to her. She sent her mom a pic of me so I guess she was trying to get approval from her moms even tho she didn't find black guys attractive... supposedly lol. I texted my gf's number to myself while on that call since she was 18.

We would snapchat and text here n there but nothing serious. I kept in mind she was 18 and didnt take her serious and I was fucking with too many other women at the time. Actually their was a woman I was very fond of at time whom I flirted with the idea of being in a serious committed relationship... My girlfriend always looked so damn happy in her snapchats, full young vibrant beautiful youthfullness, you never got a sense that anything was wrong with her life.



March comes and she tells me that shes coming back to the hotel. I'm so fucking excited and so is she. This time I made sure to put her in a room by herself because I was spending the night with her. It was great and she was so happy. We had very long deep talks. I asked about her fam again and this time she says she hates her uncle and can't fucking stand him, cant wait to get out of the house. I tell her not much longer, you'll graduate in June, just hang in there. I went thru the same bullshit with my parents.



I tried to fuck her numerous times... She would kiss me and shit like she wanted to fuck, but when I would go in for the kill she kept stopping me. At one point, she started crying. I talk it out with her and she says she just don't want her grandfather who passed away months ago to be disappointed in her from heaven. I say I understand and quit my pursuit. She felt some type of way and thought it was crazy I didn't want to hit no more. She thought I wasn't attracted to her no more. She went a little crazy about it actually. It blew her mind that a dude didn't want to fuck her saying this never never happened to her before, what the fuck was the problem!? I couldn't get it up anymore lol... I did get my dick sucked tho later before she left for MEPS surprisingly.... Not used to pretty chicks willingly sucking dick.



I forgot to mention I lied to her made up a story that my wife is dead and I take care of my sons my self with some help from parents to make relations normal between us like before I dropped the "I'm married" bombshell.. I'm really feeling this girl now and I know she likes me but I think she's playing me because she's pretty as fuck and young. I tell her I can't allow myself to get played.(I got too much too lose unlike her) She keeps telling me how bad she really wants me but I don't believe her.



I learned a lil more about her past and current living situation. She said she moved from CT to PA with her aunt and aunts husband at 11 or 12 because her parents felt she would end up pregnant living with them in CT. Her Uncle later moved in from CT with them as well a year later. Her aunt is ultra religious and uncle is super strict. They do not allow her outside of the house for nothing except for church and school, no friends allowed over, and was home schooled from 6th grade to 11th grade. They put home alarm systems on the doors and windows of the house not giving her the password to turn them off to make sure she doesn't leave.

 

We would text and talk to each other for hours. No fucking lie, in April, we spoke on the phone for a total of 88 hours. During this phase, this is when the red flags really started sticking out to me. We could talk on the phone all day but soon as I didn't have time for her, she would flip the fuck out on some crazy shit. She was very obsessive about me. Also she didn't talk about her uncle anymore in a positive light, she straight up hated him at this point, in her words.

At this time, I even created a thread in a jokingly manner about a girl being obsessed with me being this is the first time I experienced this... I later asked Webbie to delete the thread.



Because of what my father did to my sister in the past, it crossed my mind that her uncle was taking advantage of her sexually but I didn't ask her because I didn't want to offend her being that she put this dude on a pedestal the first time we met, I was like, no way he would do that to her. The only thing I asked was "is everything ok at home, is he hitting you?" she replied calmly, no everything is fine.



Last time she came to the hotel was April which was a great night for us. At this point, I dropped all my side chicks for her but I didn't fully invest myself in her yet because every time I tried to visit her she had a excuse to why I can't come which prevented me from believing she was serious. It drove me insane because I was ready to lay out and change my whole life for her but I felt that she was bullshitting me.



So I decide to test her love for me. We talking on the phone and I say to her "When you graduate, why don't you come live with me for the summer before you graduate so we can spend some real time together" and she gave me the answer I expected which was a polite no. "Hmmmmm that sounds really good, I'll think about it ok" I say to myself in my head, "LOL!!! I knew she was bullshitting this whole time!" I felt justified for playing games and a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.



Well 2 weeks later she runs away from home. She calls me randomly and says "4north1side2, I been thinking about what you said to me a couple weeks ago and want to come live with you" I'm like OH SHIT!!!! What the fuck am I going to do being what I said was a complete farce but on the outside I say "cool! we are going to have so much fun before you go"



I'm fretting about the future now because my life is about to change forever. I was sick of my marriage at this point and it was mad obvious the love was gone on my part. I didn't even want to hang out with my wife no more at this point, we were like roommates. I had no money saved up either. I immediately start searching for a second full time job and a place.


My girlfriend is moving from place to place with people. She never stayed long because her Aunt and Uncle was calling everyone in her small little hick town telling people "Do not let her live with you, she's a liar and a thief". People didn't want to deal with the drama and would tell her she had to go after a couple days.

My girlfriend moves in with this woman named Wanda she knows from church. Wanda seemed very caring and compassionate for my girlfriend, or so she thought. She really respected this woman. My girlfriend asks me to speak to Wanda one night. I've always got along with old heads and we talk for a while. Wanda and I share a laugh because we think my girlfriend is just being rebellious teenager like we were when we were teens. My girlfriend overhears us and becomes immensely upset.



It was like 11 at night, we on the phone and she said I got to tell you something. I say what is it it, she says your not going to believe me. I say tell me, she says again, your not going to believe me, I become teary eyed because I know where this is leading, I assure her I will believe her, tell me, no your not going to, my anger grows and I yell tell me!



She reveals that her uncle was molesting her from the age of 11 or 12 then raping her from 13 or 14 till she ran away. I start to cry and feel like complete shit. I say I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! I become furious and want to kill this dude but she begs me not to because she doesn't want anybody to know. I'm upset with myself because I now wish I asked for her number in November to prevent some of her suffering. This opens up old wounds from my past where when my father did this to my older half sister and how I wished I could of prevented that by being more proactive by going to the basement at night more. I'm in such shock and disbelief, I ask her a ton of very personal questions because theirs a side of me that does not want to believe this. She willingly answers all of them in crazy detail... Ain't no way somebody could make all this shit up.




She asks me to promise her not to tell but that didn't last....


I got to go, will post the rest later...

 

My girlfriend and I had many trials and tribulations while living together, she refused to get help so I pretended to be her on a abuse forum desperately looking for a solution to our relationship woes. I'll share this with y'all to get a idea of what I was dealing with at home. Everything I wrote is exactly what my girlfriend told me she felt.














Hi all, I am an recent child sex abuse survivor who is 7 months removed from her 9 year dreaded ordeal. I am very thankful to find an forum with so many supportive people and wish all of you guys the best. Thank you in advance to everyone who takes the time out to read and reply back to my thread. It's an very long read, you've been warned.

1. Unlike a lot of other sexual abuse victims, I'm not that bothered by the sexual abuse... I remember it feeling wrong but I just kept telling myself that life could be much more worse to get thru it. I'm much more affected by his verbal and mental abuse. Everyone expects me to act an certain way or see him as a monster because of what he did, like super angry or upset but I don't. Why is it that it doesn't bother me as much as people think it should? To be honest, he was a minute man who didn't last longer than 5 minutes, his penis was small so I never really felt it and I faked it all the time. I never once was turned on... even a couple times I did try to get into it to make the ordeal better but still I was completely turned off with a very dry vagina. The worst part for me was kissing.. UGH it was so bad because he had rotten teeth and horrible cigarette breath. The only sexual hang up I have was that my Uncle had a very hard time getting it up and I always sucked his limp dick to get it up. I can't stand the sight or putting soft penises in my mouth, it really puts me off and reminds me of him. When it happened, I just told myself that a lot of people out there has it way worse to me and I didn't have to put up with this for long.

The abuse only happened in his room and no where else... He didn't dear try it anywhere else. Also the sex was strictly sex, he would gesture for me to do things and wasn't verbal during the acts... because he was non verbal, I think I'm able to have sex very normally with no problems.



What hurts me is that having this person take care of you half your life and then their just gone like that and don't want anything to do with you when all you tried to do is make them happy no matter how much you became unhappy in the process. This is what hurts me the most with my Uncle and him never believing in me when I was joining the Army.


2. When I ran away, everyone thought I was just being an rebellious teen... including my boyfriend. When I heard my boyfriend sharing a laugh with the woman who was watching over me at the time reflecting on being the same way they thought I was being at the time, it hurt. Later that night, I broke down and confided to my boyfriend what my uncle did to me for years. He got super upset and said he suspected what was going on which was true because he kept asking me was everything ok at home leading up to me leaving, asking was my uncle physically hurting me but I always told him no and I was ok... He said he didn't feel comfortable asking was I being molested because I did paint my Uncle to my boyfriend as an world class upstanding gentlemen so he didn't wan't to disrespect me.

I had my boyfriend promise not to tell anyone because I was over it already, it didn't really bother me.... Well months later my boyfriend told my parents what my uncle (my mothers brother) did to me at an family gathering in private which left me devastated. Again, up until this point, what my Uncle did didn't even bother me but once my family found out, I felt like such a shitty disgusting person. Just wanted to curl up and die. I hated my boyfriend so much for this! Felt that he stabbed me in the back, He was selfish, didn't care how I felt or how it would affect me and only did what made him feel better. Did he stab me in the back?

I feel that my boyfriend ruined my relationship with my Uncle. Even tho we weren't on good terms, I still had contact with my Uncle up until this point. My boyfriend took all that away from me. He even confronted my Uncle over the phone. It was crazy, whenever I did something my Uncle didn't like, he would call or text saying "I'm a piece of shit, I won't do anything with my life, I don't care about him, bitch" etc immediately. Not this time, instead of doing that, he just stopped contacting me but contacted everyone in the family trying to save face by telling them I was lying.


My Uncle never threatened me or told me not to tell.... I guess he got me trained so good he just knew I would never tell but once my boyfriend told, I know that hurt him immensely. I feel really bad for him and hope he won't hurt his self. I just feel so sorry for him since he didn't live a good life.


I didn't want my parents to know because they were the catalysts that put me in this situation which is why I resent them so much. There was a positive out of it, I never told anyone before because I always thought no one would believe me but my whole immediate family believed me, reaching out in support.



3. Even tho I was child, I can't come to terms that my uncle "raped" me because two times I initiated sex. He was constantly screaming and yelling at me, I would have sex with him to calm him down and make him happy. If I didn't want to have sex with him, he would take away my cell phone or TV sometimes. Other times he would completely ignore me. I felt so lonely with no outlet so I would have sex with him putting him in good spirits getting my items back or he'd speak to me agian. I feel dirty and disgusting, now I'm away from that situation but at the time, even tho something tugged at me saying this was wrong, it was normal at the time to me. I can't get over being an willing participant.





4. Was it a cry for help? My boyfriend says I couldn't of kept this secret forever and I was going to break some day. I don't think so at all and we just see things differently. When I told him of the abuse, I wasn't looking for sympathy, I just wanted to prove him wrong... Throughout our relationship, I did drop hints to him here and there, like truths mixed with lies so he didn't know what I was fully talking about. I do remember beginning to tell a church member who discouraged me from telling before I was finished by just saying just keep it to yourself before I cause myself and others more trouble.





5.Despite what my Uncle did to me, he's still a good guy who wanted to see me do good in life but my boyfriend disagrees with me vehemently... He pieced me and my uncles relationship together saying he groomed and manipulated me from a little baby till now to get what he wanted. I'll tell you what my boyfriend said and let me know what you guys think.



My Dad was away from home alot and my Mom was stressed out watching over us rowdy kids so they let the Uncle move in with us because he needed a place to stay and he could help out. We didn't respect my mom or dad at all but we were terrifeid of our Uncle. What ever he told us to do, we did. My Uncle was a family man and he did nice things for me and my brothers trying to hold close relationships. I spent a lot of time in my Uncles room with the door closed. My boyfriend says that was totally inappropriate, no child should be in any room with the doors closed. In my house, we respected privacy and didn't barge in on closed doors. I do remember my Dad telling me he didn't like me being in there so much and to stop it but I didn't...

 

My Uncle didn't touch me or do anything in appropriate... He'd just let me hang out on his cool comfy chair and talk to me unlike my parents. My Uncle gave my brothers and I money to buy candy from the store and he brought us school clothes. I always thought my Uncle treated us all equally but after my boyfriend asked me some questions and I thought about it.. He did treat me a little different. My uncle would give my brothers like a couple of dollars for candy but would give me lots of money. My Uncle brought us school clothes but I he kept my school clothes in his room and I was only allowed to put them on in his room but my brothers didn't. My boyfriend says he was grooming me.




When I was 9 or 10 years old. My Dad and Mom got into a fight which resulted him leaving to get drunk at the bar. He came back in an drunken stupor and started touching me while I pretended to sleep. Once he stopped, I got up screaming hysterically telling my Mom what he did. I can't remember what happened but everything went to normal the following day. About a week or two later, my uncle told me I had to sleep in his room because sleeping with a bunch of boys (my brothers) wasn't right. I slept on the floor but I remember him calling me to bed and thats when he first molested me. He just touched me and kissed me.




It only happened once and again everything was back to normal. I didn't scream or tell this time because I felt like since my Dad did it and now my Uncle did it, this is whats supposed to happen in life I guess. About 2 months pass, life was going great and then suddenly my life changed dramatically. I was at school, was called out of class and escorted by police to talk to a school nurse or therapist telling her what my Dad did to me. CYS was called and they told my mother that either my Dad leaves the home or I go, sadly my Mother chose my Father over me. My aunt who lived 7 hours away said I can move in with her. I don't understand why this happened, I was a good girl in school and I wasn't acting out at home. The abuse didn't bother me because it only happened once with my dad and uncle.





What happened was my Uncle told an Aunt who didn't like my mother that "I wasn't doing ok" and told her what my Dad did conviently leaving out that he did it too. The aunt called CYS to get back at my mom... not because she cared about me or what happened. Once I moved away, this Aunt who called CYS never once called me and asked how I was doing. My boyfriend says my Uncle masterminded this all along in a sick way. He touched me to test the waters, he waited the outcome and seen that I wouldn't tell. My uncle wanted to do things to me but risked getting caught in a house with so many people so he had to get you away some how. He knew my aunt didn't like my mom so he told her. He also knew my mom would choose my dad over me because she was always desperate for men in her life. It kinda does make sense to me...



When I was plucked away from my family and moved 7 hours away to the middle of no where now living with my Aunt, her husband and there daughter. My Uncle moved in with us a year later because he said "he didn't want me to be lonely with these new people" My new family were super religious, I wasn't allowed to do anything at all. No make up, no shorts, because I have big boobs, they would always say I was trying to be a slut showing my boobs which I couldn't help, not allowed any friends, just locked up in a house all day with nothing to do.



My Uncle was the only thing I had. He was very hard on me at times, very controlling, demanding with an bad attitude. When he was mad at me, he would ignore me up to a whole week which fucked me up in the head. The only thing that would make him feel better was if I came to his room and had sex with him. This became my daily ritual. My boyfriend again, said this was manipulation to get what he wanted. My Aunt didn't allow me to have a phone so my Uncle secretly brought me one, once in a while, he'd take it away from me but say if I did something with him, i could use it. My phone was my only outlet other than him so I would do it.



He would also constantly tell me how I was the only thing he had to live for and say how much he hates it where he lives, saying he's going back to where we used to live. I would cry my eyes out begging him to stay, cuddle with him and do things with him so he would stay. My boyfriend said again, more mind games to keep you where he wanted me and to get what he wanted.



6. Do you think my Aunt and Uncle knew... more specifically my Aunt? All of our rooms were upstairs, at times we would be having sex and we could hear my Aunt walking to the bathroom. At times we'd stop and he'd tell me to be quiet until we heard her go back to her room. She kept her tv in her room really loud so she couldn't hear us. My boyfriend said she has to be the dumbest person alive not to know what was going on and she is just as guilty as my Uncle because she did know... I do remember a couple times we resumed having sex thinking she went back to her room but a couple times she lingered around then we heard foot steps as we were doing it. Also a couple times she'd come to his door, he'd have to throw on his clothes really quick telling her "just a minute" and my uncle would open the door barely and my aunt could see me on the way side of the bed under the covers. I don't think my Aunt knew because everyone knew my Uncle and I had a super close relationship. My boyfriend says that's all the more reason she should of suspected something.

7. I refuse to see an therapist, my experience with one at 9 years old was so horrible and I refuse to go thu that degrading shit again. I don't think they help and I feel much more comfortable talking to family about what I'm going thru. Well my boyfriend and I've got into some very nasty fights... even got physically a few times because of me.... I would hit him a lot... sometimes up to 20 times in one day I would slap him in the face just because I perceived him doing something wrong. His is a super ultra patient man but a couple times he politely asked me to stop hitting him but I kept doing it to press his buttons and snapped back by slapping the force out my face. We've gotten much better since those dark times but the other day we had another argument.

It was like he gave up on me like everyone else. He said "I can't do this anymore! I'm not a professional or an expert you need to get pro help! I can't help you, I don't know what your going thru and I'm not trained to do it" That really hurt... I just can't bring myself to go to therapy.

 

Home life was hell sometimes. Her Uncle painted a very ugly picture of her mother and father to her. Said that they didn't care about her, if they did, why did they let you go? Told her they were bums and disappointments to the family. He wants her to be successful unlike them. He's just hard on her now so it'll pay off in life later. Tried forcing his views and opinions down her throat 24/7 like his old school hardline republican views which she carries alot of. If she disagreed with him about something, he become pissed off screaming, yelling, and name calling.


Her Aunt and Uncle never allowed her to speak to her mother alone. They were always in the room with her like a shadow monitoring the phone call. Her mom did say she said a couple times she asked her daughter was he touching her but she said no.... How could tell the truth with these people in the room listening like Gestapo agents. She also didn't have any respect for her mom at the time since she chose her father over her. To this very day, she looks and speaks to her mother as a peer, not a mother.




Like I previously said, not one time this dude ever said don't tell or forced her into it. Like majority of sexual predators, he made gradual moves testing the water each and everytime.

She said it started one day when she was 11 or 12 on a Sunday when her Aunt and her husband left her alone with her Uncle as they went to church. He would touch her here and there. He had to be in his late 30s or early 40s at this time. She said she didn't know what was going on and just went along with it.

He would call her to his room all the time to watch tv and cuddle. This only happened once in a while for quite some time. When she reached 13 it started happening more frequently to wherehe became comfortable enough to take her virginity.

They were laying in his bed and he just gestured for her to take her clothes off. They did it and when he was done he was mad because there was no blood. He said your not a virgin, their should be blood here. Who were you with!? She felt awful because she still didn't quite comprehend what was going on or happening to her. She said this is how it always went down, he would just gesture to her to take off her clothes or do sexual things. Only time he would say something was if they didn't have sex for a few days, he would bug her saying "come on, it's been a while".


She said it wasnt until 12th grade when she was 17 she knew something was completely wrong when she was shown a video in school what inappropriate touching was. She felt sick to her stomach. Even tho she did not like what was happening to her at home, she thought what was happening to her at home was completely normal in every family.


Before or after the video, she also suffered a miscarriage. That's when all the good feelings towards her Uncle started going away. One day out of the blue, she started bleeding very heavily not knowing what was going on. She snuck out to a neighbors house telling her that she's bleeding heavily and don't know why. The neighbor took her to a clinic. She had a procedure and the baby removed. Died at 6 weeks.


She still continued to have sex with him but layed their as a dead fish, completely despondent or staring into space but he continued to go at it no matter what. She said he never even spoke about them having sex, they would do it and when done, he would talk normally to her like it never happened. Only one time when she was crying after they were done, he said "You never said no so you must of wanted it"

It was just a job and that's what she was there for. He never used condoms. he would always cum on her stomach or on top of her pussy. He cummed in her mouth once which made her throw up. All he did was laugh but he never did it again. It was usually the same position of missionary because he couldn't keep his dick hard for other positions usually. When she on top, the dick would keep falling out.



When you see how much power and control a abuser can have over a person, it's mind shattering. For the brief time I kept her secret, this chick would still talk highly of her Uncle at times no matter what bullshit he put her thru. She always had a excuse for him. "He had a rough life growing up, he's just lonely, he done bad shit but he's still a good man, he just wants the best for me" even after trying to force her into homelessness. Tried to ruin her dream of joining the army as well.


He talk bad to her simply for posting funny memes on Facebook so I had a few words with him checking his bitch ass. She still loved him so much, she begged me to meet him. I kept telling her no flat out but I finally relented.... I was like, if she forgave him, I should too. Worst decision ever.

This dude looked so fucking disgusting looking. 5'6" frail 110lbs, horrible teeth, straight up bummy homeless looking dude. I couldn't and still can't wrap my mind how she or any person for that matter could have sex with a person that looks like this.


When I brought my gf a car last year. One of the first things she did was take the hour drive to confront her Aunt and Uncle. That's a long read itself but the paralyzing fear she experienced when she thought her uncle was coming down the steps was something to behold. Again this dude has never ever threatened to harm her in any type of way but this chick started shaking uncontrollably hard, heavy tears flowing hard, wimpering, vintalating, couldn't get any words to come out.



I became super angry, rubbed her back and shoulders as I stood behind her telling her she ain't got shit to be scared of it. I start yelling at her to speak up (I know I shouldn't of but I had blood in my eyes at the time) which she did. Dude never came down the steps. He was scared of me. I asked her later why was she so scared of him all sudden. She said, after I had a while to think about what he did to me all those years, you become afraid of the person not knowing what the fuck else they are capable of.


For the first year, I didn't hold this against her. I was completely understanding but she put me thru so much shit where 2 years later I do hold it against her. I don't want to.... but I can't help it now. I can't get over her being intimate with this hideous monstrosity and how she still loved him so much despite all the shit he put her thru. While me on the other hand I had to constantly have to deal with the negative affects of abuse when I was nothing but loving and supportive. It's not fair.


Actually the way I was ok with it the first year was she downplayed a lot of things to hide her pain. I was like cool, maybe rape ain't that bad after all but over months, more and more info came out. Worse and worse it seemed. I constantly feel like her Uncle is a 3rd wheel in our relationship. Us men are very visual, especially me.... Sometimes when we kiss or fuck, I imagine this how was with him which totally puts me off. Makes me feel like less of a man....


What I have trouble with as I over analyze everything.... Would this abuse continued if I hadn't said anything.... My gf was very naive about everything. Before I told, this dude continued to make attempts to call and see her everyday. Instead of flat out saying no to him... She would make excuses like "I got so n so going on today, how about another day" like a scared child.


They went out twice. I asked did he try to make any moves on you, she said no, he doesn't see me like that. I get mad, I'm like your so fucking naive, that motherfucker sees you as his gf and always will. He's just waiting for the right time to make a move, I'm no longer comfortable with this. She thinks he's just being caring.


Many survivors say do not tell but I'm now happy with my decision of telling her family. The abuse wasn't going to stop until something was said and she was finally able to see her Uncle and Aunt for the people they truly were.

It also revealed more abuse in the family. Her oldest brother called her immediately when he heard the news confided in her that her Uncle took advantage of him as well. Their was a family friend who won the lottery for a huge sum of money. He was always over the Uncles house when they were kids. The Uncle would hand him a wad of cash from the family friend saying just do as he says and you'll get more cash, sending him to be in a room alone with the family friend.

It started off as just pictures at first but turned sexual after a while which led him down path of destruction just at 15. A cousin who was highly upset with her coming out after a year revealed that his mother kicked his ass out at 16 when he told her that somebody in the family was abusing him.