Healthy Jealousy

B-Ball and Chain
Think all NBA playas have five baby mamas? Meet Doug Christie- the superwhipped exception.​

Wilt Chamberlain must be spinning in his grave as Doug Christie, the Sacramento Kings guard, destroys everything the NBA stands for. “Every conversation I’ve ever had with a woman since we’ve been married,” Doug bragged to the New York Times, “[my wife] knows about.” And it ain’t by choice. “Doug is allowed to look at females,” Jackie Christie explained. “I’d just prefer he didn’t.”
What in the name of Shawn Kemp is going on? Surely, she must be kidding. “If [a female reporter] wants an interview,” Jackie told Kings officials, “I will attend it with my husband so there can be no games.”

But when you’re hanging with the Christies, there are always games…and games within games: At least 50 times during every Kings game, Doug extends his left fist, pointing his pinkie and index finger to the rafters. Why? “Just to let my wife know that I love her.”
This is the same wife who reportedly had a woman fired (the woman is now suing the Kings) for giving Doug a phone message.

The same wife who nearly attacked a young autograph-seeker in Toronto. “I put my hand up and told her to back off, really loud,” she bragged afterward. “My voice was like a demon’s. But she was touching someone she shouldn’t have been.”

And the same wife who escorts Doug to and from the arena drives her car behind the team bus on road trips, forcing Doug to talk to her all the way on his cell phone.
“If you could feel as good as I feel,” Doug says, “you’d be whipped, too.” Hey Kobe, you listening?

-By Alex Straus from the Maxim November 2004 issue.

 

You have to forgive me if I don't follow you - but it seems the more you rebut my argument, the more you actually support it.

If she's suspicious of your character - yes, she has reason to be suspicious. That answers itself.

Fanciful emotion? You lost me on that one.

To say there's no legitimate reaon for a person to be jealous is like saying black people don't need lotion after getting out the shower.

We're human...we have emotions and we take ownership over things we care about.

Zero jealousy=apathy. The last thing I want is an apathetic mate.

 

I dont understand why she is jealous, either it is with reason or without, unless you dont believe there's reasonable and unreasonable forms of jealousy. There's a long way between jealousy and apathy.

 

i can't say that i'm big on the whole jealousy thing. trust is a key element in any relationship & if you give me reason to be jealous then that means that the trust isn't there. i don't think that there is a problem with looking at other people or flirting...i do both...but if i have to check you to make sure that you're towing the line and being faithful then you have no right being in a relationship with me.

 

....and that's the bottom-line.


Although, for me, when I'm in a relationship, flirting is crossing the line. If I want to flirt, I stay single. If I was with you Tarshi (and I'm being serious), I would have no desire to flirt. I would feel guilty.

I would only want YOU and your attention.

 

:-|What I mean is when you take ownership of something, you're going to make it clear that it's YOURS! To say zero jealous is normal is to deny human nature.

 

i'm naturally a flirty person...i flirt with men and women alike...i'd stop for you though, just give me the word

 

...check out my edit.

 

I agree with this. A little jealousy is probably ok. If it's out of control it will probably ruin the relationship.

 

:smt003...just a little Jordan. I promise you I'd let you out of my site for AT LEAST 20 minutes per day, maybe even 22 minutes.

 

:smt049:smt049:smt049:smt049:smt060:smt008 books ticket to snatch you away

 

A little jealous is okay. I think it's natural on both sides of a relationship.

However, if your significant other's jealousy makes you change your behavior is some way as to not get "caught" doing something, like flirting, then the jealousy has gone too far. Then you're talking about wanting to change another person, which we all know, you can't do. And you're also talking about trying to control another person, which most mentally healthy people won't go for.

I agree with Tarshi, if you can't trust a person when they're on their own, then why be with that person??

 

I like when a dude shows some jealously, but that doesn't mean he cares emotionally, a lot of times it's about conquering a territory where he doesn't want another man setting foot on.

 

Jealousy is a problem for me. Too much of it, is a sense of insecurity.

 

I am feeling a bit on the fence about this, likely because as other posters have mentioned - it could indicate a sense of insecurity. But how much jealousy is too much? On the other hand, a wee bit does make me feel wanted.

Also, if I have to force my man to reach his potential, I would feel like I am his mother. Or is your use of the word "force" more an indication of you being inspired to be a better man and not actually her yelling at you to shape up or ship out?

 

There is a fine line between healthy jealousy and plain distrust, border line psycho behavior. I believe the said line changes with time, as you mature you're able to trust more because your insecurities and the like fade away.

I'm single, when a girl is jealous at this point, it's usually a turn-off, but when I was in a long-term committed relationship I could see how people want and need jealousy sometimes. It almost acts as a validation tool between people sometimes. But it can be misused and abused, turned into a tool of distrust, manipulation, hurt.

 

Hey Ms. Athena! You have a very strong point and frankly you're on the same page as me.

Yes, when I use force, I mean inspiring me. If a woman or man has to yell or try to give you an ultimatum, that relationship is already dysfunctional.

It's about the woman having expectations of me that she won't compromise on, lest she parts way. If a woman is firm on her values, it will 'force' a man to either reach higher or lose her.