Going White

Because listening to a BW's IR gripes is exactly why I signed up on whitewomenblackmen.com

 

Yes, these types of comments are tossed out at BW who date/marry IR all of the time...usually by members of the black American community.

WM/BW couples are more accepted, in general, by the society at large and the mainstream...but not within the black American community. However, the black American community is much more accepting of BM/WW than WM/BW. BW get stern pushback from BM AND BW (usually from the older generation) for dating out.

While I am certain that it is the motivation of some BW/BM in IR, it is an unfair stereotype and to make the assumption that the desire to have lighter skin offspring is a major driver behind the relationship between WM/BW on the part of BW. Plus, one does not necessarily have to procreate with a white partner to have light skinned offspring.

Things such as common interests, compatibility, education level, religious/spiritual beliefs and shared values are far more important than race/ethnicity in finding a mate. It really has very little to do with BM not being "good enough".

 

Those are the same gripes bm get, actually those are gripes any women gets for ir dating.

It's not an exclusively bw issue.

 

The #1 TV show in America has a black woman messing with a married white man. The #1 new show features a white man from ancient times teamed up with a black woman from present day.

Meanwhile TWO of the highest-paid BM movie stars can't kiss a white woman on screen

Such oppression

 

The shows that you listed are works of fiction for entertainment purposes. My post is addressing real life issues.

ETA: IMO, the biggest mistake that black people in IR can make is to be adversarial in these matters. We should be each others greatest allies.

 

Do I even have to dignify this horseshit with a response?
The black community is mainly matriarchal in this country meaning its usually lead by and designed for female dominance. Case in point black magazines like Essence or Ebony commonly make it point to question what it means for the "race" when black men step out but NEVER make a peep when black women do the same. In fact they are usually celebrated because in this racial hierarchy game gaining the affections of a non black person really means you've arrived. And truth be told bm rarely if ever give two shits who bw end up with because we as a culture in this country don't take ownership of our women. The racial societal make up doesn't allow it, so as far as the black community is concerned its a woman's world. Good try though

 

Personally, I think most of the women in America (regardless of race) have some sort of "daddy issues" where they were raised by terrible fathers or never had a real father figure growing up.

 

Just to clarify, I didn't mean to discount the fact that some women have issues with their father, although I'm not sure I'd agree w/ your statement that most women have those issues. Either way, my point was simply that the majority of ww who date bm aren't doing so because they're trying to get back at their father. There might be a few crazies who use bm as a means to rebel but to say that 90% of us date bm because of emotional issues is way off base imo.

 

Not to be mean, but what do you have to back that up? I think that's a gross exaggeration.

 

That's exactly why

Well thank god Ches decided to develop her daddy issues so late in the game

 

Better late than never, eh?

 

:smt043:smt043:smt043

But can you handle it though, I know you are greedy and all babe, but that's a lot of black meat white girl. :smt077

LOL @ Ches's daddy issues.

You said it.

 

Hell. Yes!

 

I'm still waiting for someone to re-post the link to that article (originally posed by ches) by a bw writing that she wanted to make people's "heads explode" with her IR relationships. And you know what people she's talking about.

Most bw who pair up with wm carry themselves more like they WANT people to care about it than the opposite. Lots of antics. When bw acknowledge the extent that that stuff goes on (yep - just like in the article that bw wrote which was applauded by all those bw in the responses), I'll take the things they say more seriously.

BW team up with WM to try to antagonize and humiliate black men with their "love." Being both female and black, most of them would far rather bm DO care about what they do than not.

...And WM seem to be possessed by an indefatiguable "rivalry" with BM (just as if we're the "measure of their manhood").

Add those facts together and you get what I call "the antics," looking exactly like a shared grudge against "the black man"

Can't at all take you seriously until you're willing to acknowledge the reality of so many bw teaming up with wm to try to "color the world" of young bm with that nonsense.

Furthemore - try to draw an equivalency betw societal response to bm/ww pairings to those of wm/bw pairings at any time in the history of this country, and I simply can't take you seriously.

BW are constantly on that tip to try say "bw have it harder" or "as hard as" and other false equivalencies, completely ignoring sexual politics that have gone on since the dawn of time, since before humans even walked the earth at all.

it's barely even worth arguing with.

 

As someone who's still, for the most part, open to all kinds of women, here's my take:

I think for a lot of people, interracial dating can be more thrilling than "dating your own", especially when it's a positive experience the first time. it's new, it's different, it's stimulating. Some ppl get caught up on that thrill.

...Others then begin to look at "their own" as less exciting, like the asian chicks who'll say dating asian guys is like dating their brother, in comparison to dating out. People get used to the additional contrast and it becomes their "natural" way. Anything less is less exciting, almost less natural

...Then there are those out for "vengeance" of some sort, like that bw in that article ches linked to, who says flat out that she wants to make ppl's "heads explode", WW who want vengeance on their fathers, etc. etc.

In those cases, it's usually the females and their issues. Most guys just want that ass and a lil love, not to hurt others. (With the exception of white guys, who tend to view dating bw as some sort of "coup" :roll: and are often trying to get on bm's nerves. that's an outlier tho)

... There's also this cultural factor: like a stray pup, whatever kind of chick shows me the most love on a day to day basis is the kind I gravitate to...

If three ww are sweet to me, the fourth ww catches my eye. If three bw are mean to me, I ignore the fourth one. May not be exactly rational, but it's natural. I'd bet most guys are like that and most ppl in general.

Women are like that too -- the "thicker" ww who gets more love from latin men let's say and thus gravitates to them being a good example...

Cultural trends impact trends in who's nice to who and who gives who the cold shoulder. So as ww trend nicer and bw trend meaner, you're going to have more bm saying I need to remain in the loving house of ww rather than traipsing around out there in the cold

so, in conclusion, "serial swirling" may be as much about the stimulation of interracial dating, positive experiences, trends in culture (eg. love from ww, sullenness from bw), and even ostentation on the part of some. Most importantly, it comes down to the individual female -but- the other stuff can be the "gatekeeper" that directs the eye

- Or -

maybe people are just attracted to certain physical type, with coloration being one of the most blatant aspects of the physical type?

:smt102

the world may never know

 

Hopefully at some point we will stop catering to and believing the extremists who occupy the fringes regarding IRRs. To buy into the ridiculous stereotypes on the opposite side, one must also buy into the asinine stereotypes on their own side. I buy into neither.

Once again I will state that until the adversarial stance is abandoned, very little progress will be made.

 

This! Its hypocritical otherwise.

 

"ridiculous stereotypes" :smt043

Damn right adversarial stuff should be abandoned, unfortunately some adversarial stuff is a-okay, thanks to the values of the society we live in.

Would be nice if IRRs were devoid of stuff like using your unions to antagonize others. If a ww I was with acted like many, many bw who date wm, she would be dumped with a swiftness. :!:

If she wanted to use me to make bw's "heads explode", it wouldn't help us bond, it would make me look at her differently, because I think that kinda thing is stooopid, and I have more respect for myself than that.

Unfortunately, in the case of "the antics" as in other racial stuff, bm grievances are dismissed as figments of their imaginations, though the antagonism of wm and the belligerence of bw toward bm over the last few generations are things that are stark and obvious. Combine them and you get stuff that it's taboo to address directly -- so many would rather simply dismiss it as "ridiculous stereotypes".

Bw with wm is simply unlike ww with bm, in all kinds of ways. The "antics" are one of those ways :!:

Interracial unions are faaaaaar from devoid of good old fashioned racism. IR has ALWAYS occurred throughout human history, and has NEVER been devoid of racial politics.

With all due respect, a better platform for a bw to preach about abandoning the "adversarial stance" would be the one in which bw rally around making people's "heads explode".

There are no bm here who want to hurt bw with their unions with ww. On the flipside, there are black women who pursue that in real life and say as much on the web.

And I know it's not winning me any friends among ww here by saying this stuff, but it's true and needs to be said. Wonder what kind of heads baby girl will want to make explode next?

 

So WM/BW equal revenge relationships that are formed predominantly for the purpose of hurting BM?

 

And you never hear bs about BM wincing at the sight of bw with wm. Know why? Because generally we seriously don't care.