Going White

Getting back to the original question...

It is true for some guys and other guys will say anything that they think a woman wants to hear. Ultimately it doesn't matter, because like DK said (damn I am agreeing with him alot.) there are plenty of White (and non-Black) women he could leave/cheat on you with. If he is with you, then he probably is attracted to you, even if he has more than one type that he likes. More important is how honest/faithful/respectful he is to you and your current relationship, not any hypothetical future ones.

Also depending on how the issue got brought up in the first place, it could be an warning sign of impending issues i.e. if you brought it up could be a major sign of insecurity, if he did then a sign of either guilt for dating white or wanting a BW or it could have just evolved as a matter of harmless conversation.

 

He gets that, trust me. He fights battles all the time that don't pertain to his own personal struggles, simply because he can see things from (and has empathy for) their point of view and hardships. I don't know why he's being difficult. Oh wait...it's TDK!!! The king of hard-headedness lol

Love you to death TDK, but you're wrong on this one.

It has nothing to do with needing "acceptance, inclusiveness, or not being a hypocrite". It's about treating people how you want to be treated, and respecting the fact that she's had nothing but intelligent/respectful things to say about IR dating, BM, WW, etc. Y'all are grown people acting like children. She's not asking to come to your birthday party, nor is she crashing your childs birth. I'd imagine all she wants is to be able to contribute her thoughts without being raked over the coals. There's nothing wrong with a good debate, but to see people go on and on about the idea that she's somehow not welcome here because she's a bw is frustrating. She should be treated with respect, especially considering that's all she's shown to everyone here. If you don't like her POV, put her on ignore. But to say she's not welcome because she's black...that's not ok. There are WM here who post nothing but porn, but yet that's ok? Hmmm...a bw who has insightful things to add to the conversation or a wm who treats our relationships as something to get off to......riiiiight, let's attack the bw :smt017

 

lol. damn. u went in.
with you all the way on that.
as long as appolonia dont get out of pocket im cool.

 

I want to be treated well and a large part of obtaining that treatment is by respecting boundaries. If I were a vegan, I wouldn't join a BBQ Pitmasters forum. No matter how "respectful" or "insightful" my meatless recipes are, it just isn't the place for it. Any insistence on sticking around will correctly be viewed as suspect.

And you are acting like many Americans act towards Black men who dare want to define boundaries in spaces that we (apparently foolishly) thought were designed for us (and in this case us and WW). Black men have been so thoroughly beaten that even other Black men buy into the nonsense.

As much as we pretend to ignore it, we know that no other pairing would put up with this.

And there are plenty of BW/WM sites where she could be doing such a thing. Mind you I am not saying that she should be banned or asking her to leave. I am merely questioning the mindset of someone who would join a site not catered to them and then post things that are essentially off topic (in this case the state of WM/BW relationships).

As far as I can see, she has been treated with respect. No one has called her names or even been nasty to her (any more than they are normally with other posters). Also the WM posting porn I can only recall one doing it (maybe there are more and I missed it) and he wasn't given a free pass. Hell at least WM posting BM/WW porn is closer (it is one aspect to the many aspects of BM/WW relationships) to what this site is supposed to be about than what the poster in question posts.

 

I understand your many points, I just disagree. To me, its incredibly disrespectful to continuously harp on the fact that someone's not welcome. Just because y'all are doing it in a more passive tone than something like name calling, doesn't make it any less rude or hurtful. None of us own this site, so she's free to come and go as she pleases. Like I said...if you don't like her stance on topics, there's an ignore button.

 

It's the internet & I can guarantee you there are probably more than just the one SELF ADMITTED white male on this site posting porn & other subtle & negative things.

And you're okay with the idea of a white male posting BM/WW porn here not taking into account he's basically perpetuating the stereotype that the only thing black men are worth is when it comes to sex? Black males are constantly bitching about how poorly we are viewed & treated in society and a white male comes on BM/WW related site & dictates a certain image about black men that has negative connotations to some degree, but because it plays to the black male vanity of being top of the sexual totem pole it's all good?

Vanity. The Black Man's Achilles' Heel over the last 40 plus years & why many of us are still stuck on stupid in the early 21st century. Just my opinion however.

 

LOL, I said it was one of the many aspects of BM/WW relationships (which you bolded and somehow then ignore in your response) and you blow it up into a vanity issue?

And let's not pretend, some WM are going to view BM/WW that way no matter what, whether they come here and post porn or not. Those WM don't dictate anything here, they are merely just posting on one topic of many facets, which just happens to be on topic, which is funny at how alarming that is to some. And like I said the poster who admitted to being a creep of that nature was called on it. Funny that I didn't see any of the posters defending him and his right to come and go as he pleases.

I won't belabor this point any further. Just got to accept my place. To the poster in question - mission accomplished.

 

Damn wish I could rep you for this one well said. Seems like it's very one sided.

 

Very well said Almost and Bug, I also see some truth in the quote below, with my edit in bold...

All that being said, I am still reserving judgment on Appolonia (but watching closely). My take is that what some BM are saying is that there are precious few parts of the internet (and the media in general) where BM/WW can gather together to praise, compliment, enlighten, encourage, vent, argue, and debate amongst ourselves and the issues that we care about. And because there are not many outlets for this type of a safe interaction, having other viewpoints and issues interjected can seem a little invasive and distracting, thus leading to resentment, whether the outside opinions/viewpoints are put on ignore or not.

 

Glad you noticed the creep was called on his shit especially since I was one of the few individuals who vocally said something to & about him. Funny how you didn't & don't see people defending him & his right to be here because there are people here who have & continually defend his & other suspect behavior & attitudes on this site.


Plain & simple. Many individuals, both men & women, on this site are guilty of seeing & hearing what they want to see/hear on this site for various reasons & turn a blind eye or deaf ear to a lot of things on this site. It's one of the main reasons there is so much pointless & unnecessary drama on this site

 

grown men know u cant control what people do. not all bw hate bm. u want to be treated good then u give out.
people of other demographics come in a see your thoughts and is noted. the real u comes over the net. stop worrying bout the hater site I like to whine about

 

Ummm not true I call out any and everyone sir.

 

This this a thousand times this. Repped.
You have a better way of getting my point across sir

 

Ummm....really? So you were one of the people in the Men's Locker Room who put that fool on blast the last time he was called out? I remember his dumb ass trying to call out both myself & Tam for allegedly trying to get his ass booted (which we weren't) and pathetically rationalizing why he should be allowed to post here, since we were the two who were expressing how uncomfortable his being on this site was & I remember Petty, just to stir shit for the fuck of it, defending his continuing to post porn. Don't remember you taking interest in that particular instance at all........:smt017

 

1. anyone spending that much time on porn to notice have issues. lol. just playing..,,maybe...

2. people who r all upset, because others r looking posting but not dissing, have issues

3. this is a dumb convo.

4. bm on here said evil stuff here to members that would get "others" booted. so lets not totally trip.

 

I don't frequent threads like that fam but when I see it I say something.

 

O...kay.....then why did you feel the need to try to correct my earlier post since it had nothing to do with you & calling out bullshit since you weren't involved in the matter that was being discussed in my reply?

 

Lol dude just lightening the mood. Carry on

 

Always love me some Loki logic. :smt055

 

me too it really doesn't matter to me one way or the other to me personally...the site is WW/BM...i can say that i don't want to see WM here so I can only imagine that some of the BM posters are feeling uneasy by the presence of a BW on the site...if this is the case then the decision should be obvious