Going to Moscow for Spring Break

I'm actually landing in St. Pete when i head out there. We're gonna stay there for a few days sightseeing, and then head to her hometown by train. It's gonna save me a lot of money doing it that way instead of just flying straight to her hometown.

 

Hey Malik, i'm curious to know which one is your wife. I'm getting a hunch that she's one of the brunettes of the bunch. :wink:

 

Very true. We are indeed. There's no way in the world i would be making this trip to see anybody else. 8)

 

Actually just last week I read an article in a Russian newspaper about a Russian woman who was living in her hometown in Russia single for thirty years, and her only joy was her profession as a choreographic director of a dance ensemble. In her late forties or early fifties she met an Italian man from Italy. They met online. Now they're married, living happily in Italy, and he is amazed at how she manages to always look her best and cook delicious dinners, while still doing what she loves, working as a choreographer! See - happiness doesn't only come to 25-year-olds. It happens to good women of all ages.

 

Agreed and too many American women want "extra credit" for doing such things, that's what is has degraded too.

 

Well Russian women don't like to be taken for granted any more than other women. In fact many Russian families break up because the woman, when she gets a little older and becomes better friends with her own self, gets tired of playing maid to a selfish pig who never even thinks of thanking her for her efforts or of making her feel special in any way. :evil: Women reach out to foreign men so that they can get away from that. The problem is though that many of these foreign men are looking for exactly that - a subservient woman who is willing to play maid and worship her master forever. Men with that type of thinking should look elsewhere. Russian women are Europeans, even though Eastern Europeans, and expect to be treated like partners, not property.

There is this book called "A Long Way to Go for a Date" written by Henry Makow who, in his quest for a "truly traditional" woman, married a Filipina. Something tells me a normal Russian woman would run away from him in three days. As a matter of fact, here's a review of his book:

"Former University of Winnipeg English professor Henry Makow found himself approaching fifty and having been single after his marriage had collapsed a number of years earlier. He wasn't meeting any likely prospects for marriage. He wanted something simple: a wife who would love him and obey him and be subservient to him. In return he would protect her and support her and love her. It is a deal that countless millions of couples have struck over the years, a non-"equal" but mutually beneficial arrangement. It is a deal that is set forth in simple, forthright, courageous terms in Makow's epilogue entitled, "In Defense of Heterosexuality." The only contingency: finding the right woman. Evidently, this is easier said than done, even by someone with the wherewithal to travel to third world countries to meet potential brides.

Makow presents lightly edited excerpts from his journal, over a time period spanning his entire experience from finding advertisements on the Internet, to contacting a number of potential women, to visiting the Philippines, and continuing through to his eventual decision to propose despite his serious reservations about his wife to be, Cecilia.

Unfortunately for Makow, his concerns about Cecilia turn out to be justified in spades. She is an only child, allowed by her parents to have whatever she desired, and basically brings her unexamined spoiled brat background intact to her marriage to Makow. While autobiographical sources are notoriously unreliable for obvious reasons, Makow does seem genuine in his desire to accomodate and please Cecilia. She, on the other hand, quite inexplicably, is constantly trolling for other suitors before, during, and after she is married to Makow.

Makow seems a likable enough fellow who just doesn't get enough respect in any quarter. Most of his friends and colleagues criticize his desire to marry someone three decades younger than himself. His forthrightness about his traditionalist gender views, while intriguing to many of his students at the University of Winnipeg, predictably irritated a vocal minority who succeeded in getting him unceremoniously ejected from his professorship.

A Long Way to Go for a Date presents an fascinating, if ultimately regrettable, story. At the end of the tale Makow is back on his feet after his second divorce, en route to Mexico to meet a more technically literate yet, he hopes, also more traditional Mexican woman. One cannot help but admire Makow's fearless (given current reigning ideologies) disclosure of his own desires and limitations and bumps on the road to true love.

Somehow, Makow's short, easy-to-read book fails to totally satisfy. The refined diary style lends itself to a certain immediacy, but also to a certain limitation of vision and a telegraphic style of writing. A bit more polishing of the language and some added perspective and philosophical thought about the whole experience would have been welcome.

Still, we should probably take Makow's book as we should take Makow, which is as he offers himself and as he took his bride: at face value, appreciating the benefits, and not whitewashing the shortcomings that are inevitably going to crop up. In the end, that is all we can do, with each other and with ourselves. Books of such honesty, bravery, and insight into oneself are rarities, and any reader who tracks down A Long Way to Go for a Date is sure to be engaged, entertained, and even stimulated by Makow's story."

J. Steven Svoboda is a performance artist, poet, and a human rights lawyer who is Executive Director of Attorneys for the Rights of the Child, which he founded in 1997.

Copyright © 2001 - 2002 FatherMag.com. All rights reserved.

 

That's interesting... I am not above doing housework and sending away my wive for a well deserved weekend or week to herself.

That is part of the constant mission to not take your wife for granted, its going to happen anyway, but you try to limit it as much as possible.

 

the problem is the fact that Russian men are used to their wifes to be housekeeping all the time. they think that it's just how they should do. and they dont even have the idea of appreciating that. and women get tired of being just a house wife, while thir husbands go and have fun with young girls. that's so sad, but it happens everywhere. and as far as foreign men, they are not used to their women staying home and cleanning the house and cook all the time. Western women are more ocncerned on themselves and their carreers. that's why foreign men really do appreciate having Russian wife, who's doing everything to please him and stuff like that.

so, there is a sense about Russia women marrying foregn men. they give them something that Russia men dont.

 

DI, you look fantastic in that picture in the black miniskirt! So pretty... but I know if you left the house dressed like that, you made sure Dad didn't see you!

 

awwww thank you so much!!!!!!!!!! you're too nice!
but you're right about my dad by the way. he wouldnt let me go dressed like that. lol actually, I left house dressed in it once, but it was in New Year, so he was kinda drunk a little (you know how Russians celebrate New Year right? lol), so he didnt see me.

 

I don't wanna take this thread too far off topic but I seems its become the unofficial Russian Women/American Black Men thread..lol

I wanted to ask DI and Moskvichka a few questions -

1) What was the biggest adjustment you had to make to Western Culture?

2) Did you find difficulty finding things in common since you we come from different cultures?

3) For DI - Do you find that even though you are too different cultures and background, what common ground did you have that cause attraction to you and Bryant?

4) Are Russian women interested in civic minded actions like helping children, joining an important cause and do you understand the constant struggle of Black People in this country and that if you marry an African-American you'll be on the front lines, the part that isn't talked about in the media. Our media doesn't like to talk about racism that women experience from being the mother of an bi-racial child.

You can contact me directly if you want - dj4monie@yahoo.com

I am seriously considering Eastern European women and I wanna pick your brains a little if you ladies don't mind.

 

I myself am already sold! I find that I really like Russian women. Actually foreign women in general but Russian women are of primary interest.

 

your questions are ineteresting! but why you're asking? are you just curious or something else?
so, i answered to every question of yours. here ya go. I hope nothing seems offencive. but i'm just honest. :roll:
1) Hmmmm….for me it probably was taking the fact that men (well, not all but black ghetto guys lol) don’t respect girls at all. When I realized that all they need is sex, I was sooo upset and didn’t even wanna meet any guys. When they were approaching me in the street, I used to tell them “ok, what you want? Sorry, but I’m not interested in having sex with you. So I guess that’s it, right?” lol I know, that sounds stupid, but I just didn’t see any sense in even talking to them. And when I was discussing this problem with American girls, they told me “you gotta get used to them treating you this way, it’s normal.” I actually had this problem only last summer, when I was in NYC, and 2 years ago, I didn’t have this kinda problem, when I was in SF. So I guess, that’s a NYC thing. But that became a REAL problem for me, I couldn’t take normally being treated like an object of sexual desires without any heart, soul and mind!

2) And other things about different cultures weren’t difficult for me. Well yeah, there were some. For example the fact that American people are much more concerned on their jobs and getting money than anything else. It wasn’t something good and pleasant for me at all, but I could just accept that and be fine the way I am. )) When I just came to the US, I heard people’s talks while walking down in the street. And I was so shocked because it sounded like all of them are talking about jobs, money, customers, banks etc etc. lol It was just so weird for me, because it’s so different in Russia. People rarely discuss their business when they meet. And it’s about everything. I mean, American people just much more concerning on money than Russians. Even when it comes to relations, Russian people pay more attention to spiritual things of life or of a person, than Americans. But this is just how America is, so I have nothing to say against it. It’s just something that I’m not used to.))

3) And about Nate….ummm you know what? I just don’t see at all that we’re different. I’ve never had anybody who’s that much alike with me! We have only small differences, like food habits or something like that. But that’s it actually. and when it comes to some life views or spiritual themes, we’re just always exactly the same! We always think the same and feel the same! I was shocked before, but now I’m getting used to it. And I’m just so happy that I met him, because I didn’t really believe that there is someone for me in this earth. lol I understand him perfectly and so does he. And I’m always feeling him! I think that’s so awesome!

4) Yeah, many Russian women are interested in civic minded actions, just like women of any nationality. )) And sure, I think a lot about this struggle of Black people. And this is a thing that I just hope to go through. Because I’m sure that I’m gonna marry an African-American, so I’m trying to get myself ready to it. And I had some bad situation with Black people, who’re racists. Especially with the ghetto girls. Lol but I don’t mind, because I know, they’re just jealous. And I know how many of them hate whities. But at the same time, I met a few Black women (and girls as well) who were very nice and attentive with me. I even had a friend. She was Black and really ghetto and she had a boyfriend. And she knew that I like black guys only, but she didn’t mind and even invited me to her house to watch a movie with Snoop Dogg. Lol and I guess I’ll have some problems when I’m the mother of a mixed child. But I don’t care. I think everything’s gonna be fine. Because I really love all people, and especially black for some reason. And I like the whole race, not only guys because they’re handsome, sexy and hot! ?))) I like girls too, I like the way they dance and sing and look. So…I believe that when you have God in your heart and you have the love for people, they cant do too much shit to you! Because all the people feel your attitude. So I believe that I’ll be fine.
Hope you're not too tired to read all this,cause i know, it's a lot. lol

 

Thanks DI!

Not a long read at all, I read all of it in about 5 mins....lol

I'm glad you feel the way you do and yes, oh yes we talk about money, in public among friends, yadda, yadda, yadda. I'm trying to break out of that, and actually its been easier because I have just about everything I want.

Eating habits are obviously different and while there's a McDonald's and Pizza Hut all over Eastern Europe, it hasn't totally impacted ladies figures, yet...lol

I'm already involved with looking at ladies almost strictly from Eastern Europe, while I haven't totally given up hope on Scandinavia or Germany, I've just widen my search.

I know a few but nobody I've totally connected with.

Thanks for taking the time to answer my questions!

 

I am sold as well, been sold awhile a go, I just wanted to confirm interest over there. I never had doubts however.

 

you're welcome! I hope I helped you a little with picking Russian women's brains. lol right. eating habits are very different. but I dont see any problem with it.
have you ever been inEastern Europe? if you're looking at those countries women, you probably have to go and see how they are!

 

Yes I was in Kiev (thought I mentioned that several times already....). I flew straight there and straight back. Spent about 2.5 days, the last day I flew back to Germany, so I don't count it really. I had to rush out of the flat I was staying in and make it to the airport not to miss my flight and still almost did!

I visited a woman that I met on Lucky Lovers (if you must know ) and she well, wasn't what I thought, older than I would like and not as cute as I thought she would be.

Overall she's a nice woman and a good friend.

I know another girl in Slovakia, but again no real connection and her ex-boyfriend is African-American and lived in London at the time, they spent 3 years together.

I don't know what I am expecting though, let me be honest for a second...

Obviously you have a decent command of English but your fairly young still and any English you did learn in school is being put to good use on the phone right and on these message boards.

Do you guys use Skype? Just wondering.. anyway

I think I am expecting a certain amount of aggressiveness, if you can put it in those terms.

Also after what happen in Norway, I am a bit gun shy where it seemed like I had to do the convincing that I was her type, I did and her level of aggressiveness increased where conversations would often become sexual in nature.

So you can imagine my surprise when I showed up as expected in Olso and knew when she turned her head at the train station as I leaned in to kiss her, things would go down hill QUICKLY and they did.

I guess I just don't wanna be like these other guys that travel back and forth two, three or even four times before they hit on something, I just can't afford that.

My "technique" worked until Olso... So now I have doubts and thus far I don't have a connection worth talking about, though Tatiana has gotten more aggressive lately...

I have a multi-prong "attack" planned and I might forgo going in Sept/Oct to focus on that and go later in the off season.

DI, I wanted to ask you something off the boards, could you email me?

Thanks...

 

1. The adjustments to the western culture were all positive for me. I find that westerners are friendlier, more positive and more respectful than Russians. While in my school back in Russia I was bullied, in my American school I made plenty of friends. Americans don't pry into your life as much, don't make as many offensive judgments, and respect your space. I have Russian friends but I also have non-Russian friends. I like to make friends with nice people of any background. Materially, life here is much easier, and there are so many options in life. I'm happy here in the US. However, I've lived here since the age of 15. Somebody who moved here as an adult may experience things differently.

2. I'll skip this question because I've never been in a relationship with an American or a Westerner. I was married to an African but things didn't work out.

4. Yes, I'm interested in civic action, in fact I'm the mentor of an African American girl who was raised in Newark (now she lives in another state). I became her mentor when I was 19 and she was 10. Now she is 19 herself and considers me one of her best friends. We turned out to be a perfect match, we have long conversations, and woman to woman I try to share with her everything I've learned in life. We don't get to see each other anymore now that she moved away, but I send her gifts when I can. In our friendship, our racial and social differences fade. We are just two women connected by a heart friendship. In fact, now that she is grown she is so smart that during our conversations I listen to her as much as she listens to me. She is a very bright young lady. When she was a kid I used to take her to the Rutgers University campus in New Brunswick, to concerts and such. I wanted to show her that many of the students at that top school look like her. Now she's getting ready to go to college.

 

hmm you seem to be well experienced in relationships with Europe women! are you still staying in touch with that woman from Lucky Lovers? and no, i have no idea what it is. lol
and no, we dont use skype.
let me ask you something. it seems like you're really into European women. why? I just wonder why you're choosing go through the ocean and see a woman that you dont know in person instead of dating girls from your neighborhood, which is much easier? just curious...

and by the way, why you're expecting a certan amount of aggressiveness....? :roll:

 

You and Kid should write a book DJ4M.