Getting Over the Fear of White Women

There are many black men who are afraid of approching white women for fear of rejection, racial taboos, or just plain scared. Ladies how would you advise them to take that first step?

 

Isn't there always fear of rejection regardless of color? But you surely shouldn't be SCARED of any women, they usually don't bite...unless maybe you asked for it
Other than establishing eye contact first and waiting for positive signals I don't know what to advise you really. When she smiles at you you might still get rejected of course but at least you're pretty safe that she will be nice about it. Good luck hunting!

 

eye contact, smile, and say hi

 

What she said.

 

In America in my case is stone cold rejection which made my decision to not go to American cities. If the women come to me I will never refuse. In Europe it would be having a high expectation of them and these words: "She loves Black guys but,not you".

 

I am not a chick but you should approach a woman like any other, however as always you have to know the signs.

Working Environment

I wouldn't advise it but a woman will give you plenty of signs if she interested. No that does not mean she interested is she showing a little cleavage.

The Klub

Massive eye contact, or half smiles

Out and About

This for the arrogant and confidant guys. For you there's nothing here in this thread, you don't need the advice.

However if you don't fall into the Arrogant and Confidant section here's your chance to hone your skills. Just strike up normal conversation and see if she hang around a bit for some conversation. Believe it or not rejection is good.

 

im sure some ww r affraid to approach bm for the same reason..affraid of rejection..

 

I TOTALY agree iris - good point! For me, sometimes I don't even attempt to approach a bm because my showing interest has often been misinterpreted. There have been times (at the store, in the elevator, at the bar) where I make "eyes" at or start casual flirting w/ a fine bm, only to have him look away or clam up. I even had one guy say "Are you intimidated by me?" lol, I said, nah, I just like what I see!!!

 

Sometimes the sheer difference in something new is much to overwhelming for some black men when it comes down to being approached or approaching a white female, because white women represent power whether they have it or not. Sometimes history has a way of shaping or molding a relationship such as that of a black man and white woman. For those black men who are not intimidated by white women or who have the courage to be intimate with them no matter the consequences of society i salute them. For the white woman who accepts the black man as her mate and friend. I salute you.

 

Boy am I naive! I never thought that a little unassuming blonde like me would be intimidating to anyone, especially a fine bm, lol. But that is looking at the situation through my eyes, not through a bm's eyes...something I should remember next time I get a weird vibe when talking to a bm.

 

I think most black men who find themselves strongly attracted to white women have had at some point some trepidation at approaching white women to see if they're interested in interracial dating. Unlike the ladies here in this forum and other ir groups, the vast majority of ww prefe wm. It wasn't too long ago that for a bm to even look at a white woman was cause for some serious trouble. That being said in this day and age, brothas are blessed to have a change in attitudes in many people and younger generations are not as hung up with old perceptions about race than older generations. Plus with the internet, now it makes it even easier for us to date ww who openly admit to us that they perfer us over wm. Remember, guys, to have a good white woman as a friend and lover is as good as it gets, and worth overcoming any fear we have in approaching these beautiful ladies!

 

Fear? What fear???

In the US

How many times do you have to approach a woman only to be turned down before hitting on success???

In Europe

I was in a club called 112 in Kiev, with my homie from San Diego and I was PULLED off my bar stool by a Danish chick. She was, umm "buzzed" but she saw what she wanted and took it...

Uh, that don't happen in the US my friends...

In the US fear of rejection

In the EU fear of being rapped

Which would you rather have??

 

djm, I turn green of many shades. I seldom seen WW from Europe even when wasted being this bold.

America:Many rejections by the hundreds.
Europe: 40 and less rejections.

 

Hmmm, where do you guys live? Because the ww I know are the opposite of that. We WISH more black males would be bold enough to approach us. I have such bad luck talking to let alone picking up bm unless the "environment is right".

Example: I take the bus to and from work, and I am one of very few ww on the bus. Recently, I smiled at a fine looking guy who sat next to me on the bus who completely ignored me. Well, as the people gradually unloaded from the bus after each stop, eventually, there were no more bw on the bus - THAT was when he decided to strike up a conversation!! But WHY wait?? I think that this rejection issue (hate to say "fear") is something that ww definitely experience as well.

 

Natedogg2772 said the following, "A good white woman as a friend and lover is as good as it gets and worth overcoming any fear".

How true he is. And they are in the millions. I'm blessed to have such a woman. I will give up my life if i must for her.

 

As a white woman who is attracted to black men, it can be hard being the object of their fear. I remember a number of years ago when I met a black gentleman in a professional environment. When we shook hands and made eye contact, the connection was undeniable. We had the opportunity to have a personal conversation and he commented on how comfortable I was with a black man. I really wished he would have commented on how comfortable I was with him! To make a long story short, he was conflicted about dating a white woman and we went our separate ways. He did call me three years later though.

Anyway, I think that just as with any fear, the only way to get over it is to go through it. So I concur with KnCA. Make eye contact, smile, and say hello.

 

So true. It is natural for people who are attracted to a person of a different race to have fear about approaching that person of the opposite sex. Espeically for bm and ww, we've been most of us have been programmed to some extent by our culture and our society that seeking each other out is wrong. Combine that with the fact that most ww and bm date prefer to date within their race, it is perfectly natural for fear to be there as you explore for what many of us is "the unknown" or "the forbidden fruit". The internet has been such a great tool for dating because the element of fear is drastically reduced when you can contact a person who openly makes it clear they want to date a ww/bm.

 

I agree somewhat. However, although the internet is good tool for finding those interest in ir, it is just a shame that it seems that most of the bm/ww personals (here and elsewhere) are more about sex than anything long term. That can be true about ww/wm or bw/bm personals, but I think slightly more so with the IR personals. Maybe I am just jaded, but it seems that whole "forbidden fruit" ideal is an end in itself for some people seeking out ir.

 

You're probably right. But we shouldn't be surprised because the internet is also a great tool for people who are interested in just fulfilling sexual desires, interracial or otherwise. I don't see the presence of IR personals interested in only sex as a bad thing. I don't think it should discourage anyone who is looking for a long-term IR relationship that there isn't anybody else out there who wants the same thing. Most of the ads I've encountered on IR dating sites have people looking for something long-term. There is something out there for everybody. It's all good as long as two people are open and honest with each other about why they're dating interracially, whether for sex or for something long-term.

 

even the most confident guys (like myself) get nervous from time to time. its just human. no one wants to be rejected. what you need to do is just be subtle about it and let them drop the hints that they are interested. that way you can take it slow and she will either give you the hint that shes not interested or she will give you the go to take it further. it also depends on the type of girl you go after. some like to tease and make you think they like you when all they want is your money/attention, etc. others will straight up tell you to get lost. i prefer someone to be honest with me, even if the truth hurts, then to be fake and lead me on.