For those with partners - how do you perceive them?

Is your partner older or younger?
Who is more educated or who has more life experience?
Does it affect the way you perceive them and how the balance operates in the relationship?

Mine is five years older than I am, I have my moments of extreme ridiculousness but am mostly quite a tame and sober person, so it suits me to be with a slightly older man, whose perspective is often thoughtful and serious (family and the future). He is still young enough to be silly and fun though. 5 years isn't a very big gap but I am at the start of my twenties, he is almost at the end of his, and has been through the post-uni stage of life, I find him to have a reasoned view and a good sense of perspective on things, and because he's also a tall and gentle man I do see him as someone to look up to. When I have a problem I bring it to him and he usually gives me valuable advice, a bit like my village elder or something! That said, he isn't British so it's been fun to educate him a little on life over here.

What does everyone else think? I'm just interested in power balances in relationships and how everyone adjusts...

 

I have only dated girls that are my age or a few years younger. One of the girls I'm seeing now is much younger (lets just say she won't graduate high school for a while LOL) and I am 21 and I find it hard dealing with really young girls since they are so fickle and immature. The fun part is she obeys my every command and listens to me when she knows I'm right. I don't have a NEED to be in charge as I am not a very demanding boyfriend but I do like it when they don't need to be told everything and can think on their own. The only time I dated someone older was when I met this hot Russian girl who was only two years older than me and she was a very smart pre-law student who was waaay too intelligent and mature for me. I'll stick with girls my age or younger.

 

married, wife and I have both graduate degrees and professional degrees so evenly matched there.

I am the black partner and come from a more wealthy background, upper middle class
while she comes from lower middle class

I perceive her???er like what? as a person, since i believe in equality, i just perceive her as a wonderful person

 

My man is also 5 years older than me, is equally as intelligent but as well educated "on paper" as he chose a career in football.

He has much more life experience than me and has seen more of the world than I have. But I feel that I'm more realistic than he is as he always wants to see the good side, where I see the "real" side.

I come from an average family in the UK, and he a poor family Nigeria. But we both have very similar values and some similar political views.

 

It was a bit of a confusing question, sorry. I meant, do you see your partner as purely an equal...or someone to look up to (perhaps if they're older)...or someone you have grown to protect (if they're much younger). That kind of thing, or whatever else anyone wanted to write.

 

I see him as my equal, I would never be with someone who I thought was above or below me. I am nurturing towards him, as I am with most people I care a lot for, and I'm also a bit defensive of him, but not protective as such. He on the other hand is very protective towards me, sometimes a bit too much.

And although he has a bit of the Nigerian mindset of being "head of the household" (I think he has referred to it as captain of his ship!), I won't stand for any of that so he may think it but he doesn't get away with it.

 

Love it Tash...got to indulge them but can't let it go too far!

 

life experiences: I travelled throughout the world as a child while she stayed in one place
but as adults we both travelled alot and have done many things like activism,

different political parties but same political ideologies

 

What does/did she support?

I know what you mean - have a real affinity with a woman who works for the Conservative party, even though I'm a raving leftie socialist, some of our ideologies are strikingly in accord (independence for women, personal ambition).

 

she supports the same things as I do: family farms, local organic farms, environmental policies, missions to help the poor in our country and internationally, pro life, small business, anti globalization, fighting crime, homeschooling, independent media

 

My wife is 4 years younger than I am. We have a similar upbringing, education, and values. I have more expereience and am more "successful" career-wise. I still see her as an equal. But, those areas where I am perceived to be more "powerful" than she is, we have to be very careful with or any issue can quickly spin out of control given our tempers.