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Discussion in 'Conversations Between White Women and Black Men' started by dark side, Aug 31, 2007.

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WhiteSheDevil New Member

Sorry madscientist, it sounded like you were talking to me because you quoted me, my bad. And my quote was referencing something you wrote. Can you clarify? Why do you think that bm who date ww have self hatred issues, or am I not reading that right?

WhiteSheDevil, Sep 3, 2007

#21
BronzeSaint New Member

madscientist said:

dark side said:

Do you feel guilty that you date or are married to a White woman even though you could be with a Black woman? If you aren't, then you should be. I'm not a racist and I believe that people should be allowed to marry whomever they want to. However, it seems to me like every successful Black guy who marries a White woman isn't doing anything to help further advance the state of Black people. Black women are forced to marry the losers among our race because the successful Black men choose to marry outside of their race. When so many of our brothers are either in jail, dead, or losers, why are we making the situation even worse by running away from Black women the second we improve our situation?
Click to expand...

Here we go again. We need to build a FAQ here with replies to the most commonly raised topics, and just refer people to the FAQs as answering the same questions over and over just gets tiring.

But anyways, I wouldn't feel guilty. One of the biggest misconceptions is that black men who date white women neglect the black community. I really don't know where this perception comes from. Obviously, someone pulled this "fact" right out of their ass holes. Of course, we have people like Russell Simmons, P. Diddy, Tiger Woods, and all of them have helped the black community tremendously, and there are a lot more black men who are dating white women that are actually helping the black community. And look at history. Look at the black men who are legends for their black uplift. People like Frederick Douglass, Huey Newton...in fact, it is very hard to find a black male hero that did not date or marry white women. We have an entire thread on this forum based upon that issue. It is time for people to stop slandering black men (and black women) who date or marry outside their race.

As long as educated Black men continue to marry outside of their race, it seems to me like Black people will always be the poorest group in this country. Jews seem to have the right idea; they keep the wealth among themselves. You can only be a true Jew if you're born a Jew, and most Jews hate the thought of marrying outside of their race. That's why they're the most successful group in America. Their strong racial and cultural identity has resulted in them exceeding all others, even Asians, academically, financially, culturally, and politically. Jews are proud of themselves. Blacks on the other hand will sell out the moment they make it. They have been brain washed by the media into thinking that having a White woman somehow makes them a better person.
Click to expand...

Do most of the Black men who date or marry a White woman really do so because they're genuinely attracted to that person and their personality, or are they doing it out of a sub-conscience need to be with a White woman due to a low opinion of themselves and a high opinion of White people. When most of the beautiful models, actresses, and singers on television, magazines, and other forms of media are White women, what do you expect a Black man to think?
Click to expand...

Yes, I do believe that the majority of black men who date and marry white women do so because they are geniunely attracted. I find white women to be very attractive people. Whether or not this is due to some subconscious conditioning, I don't know. But I'm doubtful because even with white women being held as standards of beauty, there are many white men who love black women much more. And conditioning cannot be responsible for that. Have you ever considered the idea that maybe humans were mant to mix?

Naturally, Black men will value White women highly for their looks and look down upon Black women as being ugly, even if they won't admit it. If you don't believe me, then tune into BET or any other Black show and you will see that most of the Black women depicted are light skinned with extensions to make their hair look like White women's hair. Some even get their noses altered to look thinner, like White women. That's why Halle Barry, Beyonce, and Alicia Keyes are promoted as the most beautiful Black women, even though they look like White women with tans.

The darker skinned Black women with natural Black hair and wide noses are shunned as ugly. So even though they won't admit it, Blacks are being racist against themselves. They only want to see Black women on television if they look part White, and they will jump at the chance to get a White woman if they ever get the opportunity to date one. I know that some of you will say that it's not about the race of the woman but rather her personality and the love between her and the Black man. However, I don't believe that's the case. If all the Black men who date or are married to White women chose to do so without any sort of sub-conscience self hatred, then why aren't there more Black men dating Asian and Hispanic women? Why are most of the Black men who engage in IR relationships with White women?

Some of you may say, "Why should I care what other people think, or about Black people in general? Why should I have to marry a Black woman just because I'm successful, it's not like my marrying one Black woman will do much to help the rest of the Black people!" That seems like sound logic on the surface. However, the truth of the matter is that mainly Black people tend to think this way.

Successful Whites, Asians, and Hispanics tend to marry inside of their race. You don't see middle class and upper class White and Asian guys trying to get Black women. They either marry Whites or Asians. They have a strong racial and cultural identity. It's only Blacks who seem to have the "everybody for themselves" mentality. That's why we're so weak and poor; divide and conquer.
Click to expand...

False. The intermarriage rates for Hispanics and for Asians are much, much higher than the intermarraige rates for blacks. In fact, blacks have the second lowest intermarraige rate (even compared to Jews) in this nation, second only to whites.
Click to expand...

In truth, you don't even have to look at the Black men that date hundreds of Asian women in New York and San Francisco (I know cause I dated at least four Asian women without even trying).

Here are just a few CELEBRITY, big money Black men that I can think of (just off the top of my head without even thinking) that have either married or been married to Asian women:

Tiki Barber - Former Giants football player

Ronde Barber - Tampa Bucs football player, Tiki's twin brother

Wayne Brady - Comdedian, Actor on ABC.

Russell Simmons

Wesley Snipes

Dave Chappelle

Reginald Lewis - The late founder and CEO of Fortune 500 Company TLC Beatrice.

I'm sure that someone would be able to add to this list. But these are / were Asian WIVES, not just girlfriends or dates.

And, in all cases, they married thes women AFTER the made it...not before.

So, this idea that Black men are not very much interested in Asian women and will happily dump an Asian girl for a White girl is just plain stupid....it's pure American bigotry at it's best.

The only reason they are not more BM/AW marriages in America is that the Asian population remains very small in the United States compared to other groups.

Likewise, Black men marry Latinas in greater number than they do White women in states where the Latino community is fairly large.

The real reason why you see more BM/WW couples is because they are a lot of WW all across America. So, simple math would tell you that Black men have more opportunities to date White women than they do Latinas and Asian women in the U.S. (in terms of the entire country).

If I tried to list all of the Black-male/Latin-female marriages of note, however, my fingers would fall off my hands.

But, lets just say that NBA star Tony Parker is keeping his Latina "very busy and in shape" right about now (as just one example of BM/Latina marriage).

Also, if dark skinned African-American women are "shunned as ugly," then how did this African woman make it into my Sports Illustrated Swimsuit calendar last year?

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/features/2006_swimsuit/models/oluchi_onweagba.html

BronzeSaint, Sep 3, 2007

#22
madscientist New Member

WhiteSheDevil said:

Sorry madscientist, it sounded like you were talking to me because you quoted me, my bad. And my quote was referencing something you wrote. Can you clarify? Why do you think that bm who date ww have self hatred issues, or am I not reading that right?
Click to expand...

Umm, you are "not reading that right".

madscientist, Sep 4, 2007

#23
flaminghetero Well-Known Member

tonytony said:

The only real post in this thread. This topic is one that pisses me off, when my girlfriend met me I was saddled with debt from completing my masters. Its been less than a year and I will pull in a very handsome 6 figure salary over the next 12 months and over the next three years I am confident I will become a millionaire. I wasnt rich I didnt drive, and wasnt gangsta I was just me, Idiots like the author of that report will see me and instantly think I got money and ran off with a ww in reality she has given me so much to help put me in a good position and that is the aspect that alot of people choose to overlook.
Click to expand...

Maybe WW see potential better than BW..

The author of that report cares not a damn about BM or Black people..

flaminghetero, Sep 23, 2007

#24
flaminghetero Well-Known Member

dark side said:

Do you feel guilty that you date or are married to a White woman even though you could be with a Black woman? If you aren't, then you should be. I'm not a racist and I believe that people should be allowed to marry whomever they want to. However, it seems to me like every successful Black guy who marries a White woman isn't doing anything to help further advance the state of Black people. Black women are forced to marry the losers among our race because the successful Black men choose to marry outside of their race. When so many of our brothers are either in jail, dead, or losers, why are we making the situation even worse by running away from Black women the second we improve our situation?

As long as educated Black men continue to marry outside of their race, it seems to me like Black people will always be the poorest group in this country. Jews seem to have the right idea; they keep the wealth among themselves. You can only be a true Jew if you're born a Jew, and most Jews hate the thought of marrying outside of their race. That's why they're the most successful group in America. Their strong racial and cultural identity has resulted in them exceeding all others, even Asians, academically, financially, culturally, and politically. Jews are proud of themselves. Blacks on the other hand will sell out the moment they make it. They have been brain washed by the media into thinking that having a White woman somehow makes them a better person.

Do most of the Black men who date or marry a White woman really do so because they're genuinely attracted to that person and their personality, or are they doing it out of a sub-conscience need to be with a White woman due to a low opinion of themselves and a high opinion of White people. When most of the beautiful models, actresses, and singers on television, magazines, and other forms of media are White women, what do you expect a Black man to think?

Naturally, Black men will value White women highly for their looks and look down upon Black women as being ugly, even if they won't admit it. If you don't believe me, then tune into BET or any other Black show and you will see that most of the Black women depicted are light skinned with extensions to make their hair look like White women's hair. Some even get their noses altered to look thinner, like White women. That's why Halle Barry, Beyonce, and Alicia Keyes are promoted as the most beautiful Black women, even though they look like White women with tans.

The darker skinned Black women with natural Black hair and wide noses are shunned as ugly. So even though they won't admit it, Blacks are being racist against themselves. They only want to see Black women on television if they look part White, and they will jump at the chance to get a White woman if they ever get the opportunity to date one. I know that some of you will say that it's not about the race of the woman but rather her personality and the love between her and the Black man. However, I don't believe that's the case. If all the Black men who date or are married to White women chose to do so without any sort of sub-conscience self hatred, then why aren't there more Black men dating Asian and Hispanic women? Why are most of the Black men who engage in IR relationships with White women?

Some of you may say, "Why should I care what other people think, or about Black people in general? Why should I have to marry a Black woman just because I'm successful, it's not like my marrying one Black woman will do much to help the rest of the Black people!" That seems like sound logic on the surface. However, the truth of the matter is that mainly Black people tend to think this way.

Successful Whites, Asians, and Hispanics tend to marry inside of their race. You don't see middle class and upper class White and Asian guys trying to get Black women. They either marry Whites or Asians. They have a strong racial and cultural identity. It's only Blacks who seem to have the "everybody for themselves" mentality. That's why we're so weak and poor; divide and conquer.

If you are a middle or upper class Black man, please think about the points I've made in this article. You might think that your relationship with a White woman is harmless and innocent but your decisions shape the future of your people well into the future. Don't care about your people? Guess what, everyone else cares about their people and that's why they're more successful than Blacks. Oh, and I'm not a Black woman if that's what you're thinking. I'm just a young middle class Black guy who feels for the state of our people.

- Dark Side
Click to expand...

Jews SELDOM marry other Jews..

Especially the men..You're in such a hurry to bash BM you don't even know what you're talking about..

CBS CEO Les Moonves married an Asian women..He is TYPICAL of rich Jewish men..

You're a typical coward..attacking the BM's relationship and letting WM/BW off the hook..

Go tell Venus Williams she should feel guilty for taking her millions and hooking-up with a BROKE(white) amature Golfer..

Go guilt-trip Suzanne De Pass for marrying a BROKE white actor that hasn't worked since "Eddie and the cruisers"

Seems like cocksuckers like you never tell BW who they should or shouldn't date..and you SURE AS HELL won't tell that shit to WM..

So just save it bitch

I ain't feeling guilty about a fuckin thing..

flaminghetero, Sep 23, 2007

#25
karmacoma. Well-Known Member

Leave it to Hetero to break shit down. 100% cosigned.

karmacoma., Sep 24, 2007

#26
flaminghetero Well-Known Member

karmacoma. said:

Leave it to Hetero to break shit down. 100% cosigned.
Click to expand...

Thank you

flaminghetero, Sep 24, 2007

#27
ladeda New Member

dark side said:

Do you feel guilty that you date or are married to a White woman even though you could be with a Black woman? If you aren't, then you should be. I'm not a racist and I believe that people should be allowed to marry whomever they want to. However, it seems to me like every successful Black guy who marries a White woman isn't doing anything to help further advance the state of Black people. Black women are forced to marry the losers among our race because the successful Black men choose to marry outside of their race. When so many of our brothers are either in jail, dead, or losers, why are we making the situation even worse by running away from Black women the second we improve our situation?

As long as educated Black men continue to marry outside of their race, it seems to me like Black people will always be the poorest group in this country. Jews seem to have the right idea; they keep the wealth among themselves. You can only be a true Jew if you're born a Jew, and most Jews hate the thought of marrying outside of their race. That's why they're the most successful group in America. Their strong racial and cultural identity has resulted in them exceeding all others, even Asians, academically, financially, culturally, and politically. Jews are proud of themselves. Blacks on the other hand will sell out the moment they make it. They have been brain washed by the media into thinking that having a White woman somehow makes them a better person.

Do most of the Black men who date or marry a White woman really do so because they're genuinely attracted to that person and their personality, or are they doing it out of a sub-conscience need to be with a White woman due to a low opinion of themselves and a high opinion of White people. When most of the beautiful models, actresses, and singers on television, magazines, and other forms of media are White women, what do you expect a Black man to think?

Naturally, Black men will value White women highly for their looks and look down upon Black women as being ugly, even if they won't admit it. If you don't believe me, then tune into BET or any other Black show and you will see that most of the Black women depicted are light skinned with extensions to make their hair look like White women's hair. Some even get their noses altered to look thinner, like White women. That's why Halle Barry, Beyonce, and Alicia Keyes are promoted as the most beautiful Black women, even though they look like White women with tans.

The darker skinned Black women with natural Black hair and wide noses are shunned as ugly. So even though they won't admit it, Blacks are being racist against themselves. They only want to see Black women on television if they look part White, and they will jump at the chance to get a White woman if they ever get the opportunity to date one. I know that some of you will say that it's not about the race of the woman but rather her personality and the love between her and the Black man. However, I don't believe that's the case. If all the Black men who date or are married to White women chose to do so without any sort of sub-conscience self hatred, then why aren't there more Black men dating Asian and Hispanic women? Why are most of the Black men who engage in IR relationships with White women?

Some of you may say, "Why should I care what other people think, or about Black people in general? Why should I have to marry a Black woman just because I'm successful, it's not like my marrying one Black woman will do much to help the rest of the Black people!" That seems like sound logic on the surface. However, the truth of the matter is that mainly Black people tend to think this way.

Successful Whites, Asians, and Hispanics tend to marry inside of their race. You don't see middle class and upper class White and Asian guys trying to get Black women. They either marry Whites or Asians. They have a strong racial and cultural identity. It's only Blacks who seem to have the "everybody for themselves" mentality. That's why we're so weak and poor; divide and conquer.

If you are a middle or upper class Black man, please think about the points I've made in this article. You might think that your relationship with a White woman is harmless and innocent but your decisions shape the future of your people well into the future. Don't care about your people? Guess what, everyone else cares about their people and that's why they're more successful than Blacks. Oh, and I'm not a Black woman if that's what you're thinking. I'm just a young middle class Black guy who feels for the state of our people.

- Dark Side
Click to expand...

pretty "meh" points you have managed to oversimplify the issue. Without going into too much detail, I will say that it could be argued(or a stronger point to argue) is the amount of educated blacks that will leave an area after success. Think of white flight but in a different context. Rather than moving into the suburbs or a mixed area it would benefit local black communities to have succesful blacks living among non middle class blacks.

I think you are operating in the old pro black/black nationalism model. Things have changed very much. We are now in the post black era. In a sense it reflects third wave feminism in that a persons physical identity does not dictate their reality and beliefs. A person is black but that does not define reality, because it is an inherent fact.

Also, I think you are speaking from perception and not from truth. Do you have hard numbers to back up the fact that many many successful black men are dating outside of their race? Unless you have hard numbers I dont think your argument is valid because it emotion/opinion based. You cannot make sweeping generalizations. Your argument is a very hard one to make , it required precision but you failed and reduced everything to a rant.

ladeda, Jan 29, 2008

#28
karmacoma. Well-Known Member

ladeda said:

Rather than moving into the suburbs or a mixed area it would benefit local black communities to have succesful blacks living among non middle class blacks.
Click to expand...

Then you'd have crackheads breaking in your house everyday. No thanks.

karmacoma., Jan 29, 2008

#29
malikom Banned

I think brothers who get with white chicks thinking they have somehow moved up socially should be shot dead.
Also,black women play a huge roll in this also.Alot of black women are too materialistic,and have standards too high when trying to look for black men.For example,he must make _ much of money.He must drive a nice lexus.He must this and he must that.
Yet these same girls turn down these tpes of brothers all the time.Black women turn down "nerdy" educated type of black men,for the thuggish type.Yet they have the audacity to complain when they see that same brother they turned down,with a white women on his arm.
Also,alot f them have terrible attitudes which even makes the most thuggish type of black dudes,run away from them.
Black women need to either start dating white men,or change their attitudes and mindsets for the better.

malikom, Jan 29, 2008

#30
karmacoma. Well-Known Member

malikom said:

Black women need to either start dating white men,or change their attitudes and mindsets for the better.
Click to expand...

I think they'd sooner do the former than the latter.

karmacoma., Jan 29, 2008

#31
ladeda New Member

malikom said:

I think brothers who get with white chicks thinking they have somehow moved up socially should be shot dead.
Also,black women play a huge roll in this also.Alot of black women are too materialistic,and have standards too high when trying to look for black men.For example,he must make _ much of money.He must drive a nice lexus.He must this and he must that.
Yet these same girls turn down these tpes of brothers all the time.Black women turn down "nerdy" educated type of black men,for the thuggish type.Yet they have the audacity to complain when they see that same brother they turned down,with a white women on his arm.
Also,alot f them have terrible attitudes which even makes the most thuggish type of black dudes,run away from them.
Black women need to either start dating white men,or change their attitudes and mindsets for the better.
Click to expand...

1. Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening."
2. Anger: "Why me? It's not fair."
3. Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my children graduate."
4. Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
5. Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."

ladeda, Jan 29, 2008

#32
mike38 New Member

I am not guilty here either. I have been attracted to ww has far as I can remember. I don't necessarily buy this myth that black men would be better served dating and marrying black women.

mike38, Jan 29, 2008

#33
Loki Well-Known Member

While I would never compare myself to someone like Frederick Douglass, just because you marry someone with lower levels of melanin, does not mean you dont care about Black people and are not committed to working to improve things for all. Douglass did just that and his second wife was White.

Loki, Jan 29, 2008

#34
pettyofficerj New Member

Loki said:

While I would never compare myself to someone like Frederick Douglass, just because you marry someone with lower levels of melanin, does not mean you dont care about Black people and are not committed to working to improve things for all. Douglass did just that and his second wife was White.
Click to expand...

lol..

if anyone was dissing freddy because of whom he married, they're full of shieet...

those old timers did more for our people than anyone on this board...

and I can say that with some confidence, unless someone else proves otherwise...

pettyofficerj, Jan 29, 2008

#35
Loki Well-Known Member

Nobody dissed Fred, just making the point that your choice in a mate does not mean that you dont care about and act in defiance of racism and discrimination of Black people.

Loki, Jan 29, 2008

#36
pettyofficerj New Member

Loki said:

Nobody dissed Fred, just making the point that your choice in a mate does not mean that you dont care about and act in defiance of racism and discrimination of Black people.
Click to expand...

oh..

i was about to hit someone over the head, with that bottle of smirnoff, if they did

:wink:

pettyofficerj, Jan 29, 2008

#37
LA Well-Known Member

I'm sorry I can't help but comment....

pettofficerj ... your signature and avatar? WTF??

I'm not dissing or anything.. it just doesn't make sense... at all.. not even a little..

''40oz of Old English and shrimp''

''Rollin philly blunts with dust from under the bed" ....WTF???

You have your face covered in all of your pictures. Why's that? Yet, somehow the Smirnoff bottle makes an appearance.

Maybe I missed the humor in it all but..

Maybe you could make more sense of it?

LA, Jan 29, 2008

#38
veema Member

lol. Out of all the stuff to read on this board.....? Hey, I admit it. I like "shrimps."

veema, Jan 30, 2008

#39
pettyofficerj New Member

SoCalValleyGuy said:

I'm sorry I can't help but comment....

pettofficerj ... your signature and avatar? WTF??

I'm not dissing or anything.. it just doesn't make sense... at all.. not even a little..

''40oz of Old English and shrimp''

''Rollin philly blunts with dust from under the bed" ....WTF???

You have your face covered in all of your pictures. Why's that? Yet, somehow the Smirnoff bottle makes an appearance.

Maybe I missed the humor in it all but..

Maybe you could make more sense of it?
Click to expand...

....mkay..

:shock:

veema said:

lol. Out of all the stuff to read on this board.....? Hey, I admit it. I like "shrimps."
Click to expand...

:wink:

pettyofficerj, Jan 30, 2008

#40

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