For the successful brothas who post here...

Do you feel guilty that you date or are married to a White woman even though you could be with a Black woman? If you aren't, then you should be. I'm not a racist and I believe that people should be allowed to marry whomever they want to. However, it seems to me like every successful Black guy who marries a White woman isn't doing anything to help further advance the state of Black people. Black women are forced to marry the losers among our race because the successful Black men choose to marry outside of their race. When so many of our brothers are either in jail, dead, or losers, why are we making the situation even worse by running away from Black women the second we improve our situation?

As long as educated Black men continue to marry outside of their race, it seems to me like Black people will always be the poorest group in this country. Jews seem to have the right idea; they keep the wealth among themselves. You can only be a true Jew if you're born a Jew, and most Jews hate the thought of marrying outside of their race. That's why they're the most successful group in America. Their strong racial and cultural identity has resulted in them exceeding all others, even Asians, academically, financially, culturally, and politically. Jews are proud of themselves. Blacks on the other hand will sell out the moment they make it. They have been brain washed by the media into thinking that having a White woman somehow makes them a better person.

Do most of the Black men who date or marry a White woman really do so because they're genuinely attracted to that person and their personality, or are they doing it out of a sub-conscience need to be with a White woman due to a low opinion of themselves and a high opinion of White people. When most of the beautiful models, actresses, and singers on television, magazines, and other forms of media are White women, what do you expect a Black man to think?

Naturally, Black men will value White women highly for their looks and look down upon Black women as being ugly, even if they won't admit it. If you don't believe me, then tune into BET or any other Black show and you will see that most of the Black women depicted are light skinned with extensions to make their hair look like White women's hair. Some even get their noses altered to look thinner, like White women. That's why Halle Barry, Beyonce, and Alicia Keyes are promoted as the most beautiful Black women, even though they look like White women with tans.

The darker skinned Black women with natural Black hair and wide noses are shunned as ugly. So even though they won't admit it, Blacks are being racist against themselves. They only want to see Black women on television if they look part White, and they will jump at the chance to get a White woman if they ever get the opportunity to date one. I know that some of you will say that it's not about the race of the woman but rather her personality and the love between her and the Black man. However, I don't believe that's the case. If all the Black men who date or are married to White women chose to do so without any sort of sub-conscience self hatred, then why aren't there more Black men dating Asian and Hispanic women? Why are most of the Black men who engage in IR relationships with White women?

Some of you may say, "Why should I care what other people think, or about Black people in general? Why should I have to marry a Black woman just because I'm successful, it's not like my marrying one Black woman will do much to help the rest of the Black people!" That seems like sound logic on the surface. However, the truth of the matter is that mainly Black people tend to think this way.

Successful Whites, Asians, and Hispanics tend to marry inside of their race. You don't see middle class and upper class White and Asian guys trying to get Black women. They either marry Whites or Asians. They have a strong racial and cultural identity. It's only Blacks who seem to have the "everybody for themselves" mentality. That's why we're so weak and poor; divide and conquer.

If you are a middle or upper class Black man, please think about the points I've made in this article. You might think that your relationship with a White woman is harmless and innocent but your decisions shape the future of your people well into the future. Don't care about your people? Guess what, everyone else cares about their people and that's why they're more successful than Blacks. Oh, and I'm not a Black woman if that's what you're thinking. I'm just a young middle class Black guy who feels for the state of our people.

- Dark Side

 

Hello dark side

First of all thanks for the excellent blog. I'm not sure about your gender but you remind me of Jeverage unfortunately she was ran off by some ww on this board. :axe: My philosophy is we shouldn't ran off those like you and jeverage who make this board more lively by posting lengthy and interesting blogs. The ones who are running ppl off are those who contribute the least to the boards. Do they wanna silence forumers ? :smt017 I dunno just because it says WWBM that doesn't mean others can't come here and particibate the discussion.

Secondly Judaism is not a race but a religion, I went to judaism online and read an article showing how they are so concern about their fellow jews marrying non-jews you can read it here I also remember reading newspaper article that said 40% of jews marry no-jews 0nly 13% BM marry non black unlike the jews majority of black ppl marry their fellow blacks. Its also important to state that its not only BM who are dating outside the race sisters are also dating and marrying non black.

 

“Do you feel guilty that you date or are married to a White woman even though you could be with a Black woman?”

No.

“However, it seems to me like every successful Black guy who marries a White woman isn't doing anything to help further advance the state of Black people. Black women are forced to marry the losers among our race because the successful Black men choose to marry outside of their race. When so many of our brothers are either in jail, dead, or losers, why are we making the situation even worse by running away from Black women the second we improve our situation?”

First of all, most Black men do date and marry Black women.

In my case, when I met the lady that I’m with now, I was not “successful” in terms of how society defines success. However, this White lady wanted to spend ALL of her spare time with me anyway. She hung with me, gave me a great person to confide in, and HELPED MAKE ME SUCCESSFUL.

This is what so many Black women refuse to do today. They refuse to take a guy that does not ALREADY drive a Jaguar or wear a Movado watch or own a huge house or work for a corporation. In order to get their attention (not all, but a number of ladies), you have to have all of these things before you’ll get the time of day from these ladies.

Black women were not at all like this in the past. The singing duo Ashford and Simpson are the perfect example of what Black women did just one generation ago.

Valerie Simpson befriended this homeless guy (Nick Ashford) living in a park somewhere. She started to sing out of the blue and Nick started to sing with her. They became friends, and then lovers, and then husband and wife…and THEN they became successful together (NOT BEFORE).

Question for you: Was Nick Ashford a loser? Barry Gordy had zero money when he started Motown? If Barry were alive today at that stage of his life, stupid society would label Barry Gordy a LOSER.

Do you see the insanity in this???

What the Black community (indeed, ALL communities) need to know is there is no such thing as a loser. God does not create losers and He resents when anyone labels his creations as such.

60% or more of the adult African-American community is either middle class or above financially (with the exception of those very young people that never left poverty and have babies, which substantially skews the poverty percentage quite a bit).

The problem with professional Black women is that they have looked past love (even with a stable guy that owns an auto repair shop, for example) in order to get the guy wearing a three piece suit and on the same professional level.

Keep in mind that the guy that gets his hands dirty and torn up in his auto place probably makes 20K more than the guy she’s seeking! THAT’S THE PROBLEM!

I have a lot of White friends as well as a huge, Black social circle. Italian women, even those that are VPs at companies, love blue collar men, esp. blue collar Italian men. Engineering is a German staple….German women love men that build things. A lot of these men own their operations.

If Black women really want strong Black men, why turn these kinds of Black men away? To win the dating lottery and find the Black man with the mansion and perfect social graces? And then complain that there are not enough men around?

With this kind of mindset, the man that created the entire Kelly dynasty (the father of Grace Kelly was a brick layer) would not be able to get a date.

There are a lot of Black men available…if you stop shopping for the CEO or the VP or the Benz!

I’m with the lady I’m with now because her butt looks fine. I’m very dominant. She’s submissive. We have unbelievable, borderline illegal sex. She’s my very best friend. There is not a thing she has not done for me. There is not a thing I have not done for her.

If I lost every last penny of my money, she’d love me and stay with me. I would do the same for her….(SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT NO LOSERS!....REF. VALERIE SIMPSON).

There are only winners looking for one break. That is all. I’m living proof (a complete dumby that makes 6 figures).

But, my White lady was all into me well before this time!

Black women are not ugly. They are just as gorgeous as all other women. And dark skin Black women are now runway models. I don’t know if Erykah Badu is “dark skinned” as you define it, but brothers fall all over themselves to get to her and women that look like her.

You can’t marry or date an ethnicity (there is no such thing as race, whoever came up with that is roasting in hell). No ethnic group in America does this. It’s always your own specific personal “turn on” or preference. If you marry to uplift your people, your marriage will last 3 months. You have to marry the man or woman you cannot live without…that’s the only criteria…not will this marriage help my community.

You referenced Asians as only dating and marrying their own. You are way, WAY off here.

About 15% of Black men date or marry outside the African-American community. Asian women blow Black men completely away in terms of how often they date other men. Anywhere from 40 to 50 percent of East Asian women in America date or marry some other group. Tiger Woods himself is a product of this. Asian female-White male couples are the largest interracial pairing in the country.

Likewise, Hispanic men and women do this as if they were dating their own. In fact, African-American men and women do this less than the groups you site…by a very wide margin.

Are White men looking down on White women when the date Asian women, or just very attracted to Asian women? Are White women looking down on White men when they date Black men, or just very attracted to Black men?

Why do you give all of these other folks a free pass? Or is that only Black men should not do this? Should Irish men not marry Italian women? Should we demonize their kids? The Native American community is completely torn apart. Should they, too, only marry their own to uplift the Cherokee or the Sioux?

The very best way to further uplift the African-American community (which is pretty strong despite the BS you see on TV) is the same way Valerie Simpson helped Nick Ashford: A Black woman should find the most handsome “loser” (which is really a big winner that just needs someone to talk to) and get to know him.

A lot of White women do this and are, often, hugely rewarded for this immediately (having to work a lot fewer hours, someone that cares for them, a protector, a lover, a friend when everyone else is busy, and if he reaches his potential, BIG $$$$$$).

That’s why you see so many interracial couples. A lot of White women are not looking for the mansion. The irony is, by NOT looking for riches, they end up getting it anyway.

Simple physics.

 

I don't feel guilty for dating white women. Netiher should most Brothers. However, when you look at the social breakdown, the richer a brother gets, the lighter his dating prefrences.

People can and should date who they want, but often times, "Interracial dating" in a Black man's mind is Blue-eyed, Blonde haired. Not asian, or Latino. Black men/WW in successful circles is more common than people would like you to believe, and this is where sister's anger lies.

Oh, and don't think WW don't want a successful man. WM get just as screamed at about gettin their shit together as BM from BW. Dating WW is not an escape from Gold-digging, they're just more discreet about it.

 

You are right, Briar. A lot of men do date differently when they get there. But often times, it's because their entire social circle may change as well (who they run into at work or play, where they live, etc.)

And I want to make a point: There are absolutely WW who "go for the gold" as well. The key is avoiding ALL of these women, regardless of skin pigmentation. They don't love you. They love your money and possessions. It's legal prostitution.

I get incredibly turned on by a humble, down to earth girl like the one I have; not Paris Hilton or those that want to be.

In closing, I forgot to answer the poster's question about Asian women and Latinas: If I were not with the girl that I have now, I'd be all over a hot Asian woman or a Latina.

To be perfectly honest, I find some Asian women and Latinas to be the most atttractive of all. I have dated and pursued both and loved every second of it. Sometimes, they are so small :twisted: . I just could not find one as nice as the lady I'm with.

One time I was seated next to two young Asian ladies. I could not help but to look over and notice how sexy they looked. And, I admit to being sick: My thumb was about the size of their wrists. I did find this "interesting." They were just so completely opposite of me...the physical difference and male/female assertiveness difference between a Black man and an Asian girl is a bit scary...which is very cool!


If my girl and I ever go separate ways, Asian ladies may be next in line again (or a petite Latina).

And some Black men really do love both ethnicities.

 

The only real post in this thread. This topic is one that pisses me off, when my girlfriend met me I was saddled with debt from completing my masters. Its been less than a year and I will pull in a very handsome 6 figure salary over the next 12 months and over the next three years I am confident I will become a millionaire. I wasnt rich I didnt drive, and wasnt gangsta I was just me, Idiots like the author of that report will see me and instantly think I got money and ran off with a ww in reality she has given me so much to help put me in a good position and that is the aspect that alot of people choose to overlook.

 

Just for a different point of view, fellas.

I think this topic is also quite US-focused.

As a result of dating my BM, I am going to places which are a lot more varied in terms of ethnicity. You know how it is, folks stick together. In my observation, of all of the black people we have around my area (which are mostly international students) I would estimate there to be a 50/50 mix of dating preferences (black and other).

This probably has a lot to do with dynamics and cultural context, as they're mostly from sub-saharan africa. I doubt we'd have many African-Amercian students here. Maybe (this is just pure personal opinion) that's because there's such a variety of other colours here, and people are relatively open-minded, that they're all hooking in as quickly as possible when these opportunities aren't really open to them back home?

As a further point of observation - of ALL the older, married people I have seen around the place I would estimate there to be a breakdown of spouse such as 60%black, 30%Asian,10% white. And the high rate of black/black marriages is attributable to whole families moving here as refugees.

Now, this is only my city, but I just wanted to make the point, that most of the issues being brought up by people are lost on me, because they have no relevance here.

For what it's worth, I worry that my BM will be "opting out" of his culture by being with me. I'm not African, and I can't ever be an African lady, and it does cross my mind from time to time as to whether i'm dulling his culture. Maybe that sounds stupid - but it makes me sad to think that all the world over, people are losing the things that make their community unique and special. It's a dilema.

On the flip side, how do we ever mend the divide between ethnicities if not by openly embracing such strong social ties like interracial dating and marriage.

For the record, I have no understanding of African-American culture beyond what I see on TV, so I don't really know what you're all talking about a lot of the time.

Oh, and to respond to the opening comment.
No - I don't think anyone should feel guilty about dating anyone, as long as your dating them for the right reasons. And that's the same for anyone, regardless of colour or ethinicity.

Difficult topic, so many responses!

 

"...it seems to me like every successful Black guy who marries a White woman isn't doing anything to help further advance the state of Black people."

A black man has no more of a duty to advance his 'people' than an eskimo.

Life presents enough challenges without being burdened with this.

Jews are successful because they made a collective vow of never suffering the same fate that befell them during the holocaust years. No matter what the cost, no matter who tells them or prevents them from doing something, they'll do it.

Read 'The Jewish Phenomenon' by S Silbiger.

 

No guilt here at all.

 

I would hope not.

 

Have a look at this topic:
http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=4307

 

Great post, Pearl. And in that link you provided, Nat King Cole displays some unbelievable taste. OMG, she was as sexy as hell!

I loved him before. I really love him now.

I truly think that African-American men and Caucasian women will continue to date and marry in even greater numbers. The problems displayed by a lot of White men and Black women concerning this relationship will continue to weaken because of the ever increasing number of BM/WW couples in America and throughout the world.

The young people in their twenties and those just turning 18 will make this issue completely go away. You see this kind of couple everywhere... young people dating and marrying whoever they want.

It's already socially acceptable in at least half the country (the other half of America continues to live as if they were in an isolated concrete jungle somewhere).

And the country is getting more and more diverse (Europeans moving in, bi-ethnic children, larger Latino and Asian populations, etc.).

I'm extremely proud of my African-American heritage. I love African-American women and will protect, defend and support them every opportunity I have. And I'm always looking for ways to further empower my ethnic group (and improve the world overall).

But, as your post correctly points out, who you date or live with or marry has zero to do with how much you love your ethnicity.

And, since everyone is Black African under the skin anyway, my love of African-American people is not at all hurt by my love for everyone else.

 

I don't have a preference for any race. My dating years is about 75% black women. Currently married to a WW and have no prob with that. In my free time I encourage black youth to go into the medical field as doctors. Plan to step that up when I finish med school by starting a mentoring program (high school-->med school).

 

Here we go again. We need to build a FAQ here with replies to the most commonly raised topics, and just refer people to the FAQs as answering the same questions over and over just gets tiring.

But anyways, I wouldn't feel guilty. One of the biggest misconceptions is that black men who date white women neglect the black community. I really don't know where this perception comes from. Obviously, someone pulled this "fact" right out of their ass holes. Of course, we have people like Russell Simmons, P. Diddy, Tiger Woods, and all of them have helped the black community tremendously, and there are a lot more black men who are dating white women that are actually helping the black community. And look at history. Look at the black men who are legends for their black uplift. People like Frederick Douglass, Huey Newton...in fact, it is very hard to find a black male hero that did not date or marry white women. We have an entire thread on this forum based upon that issue. It is time for people to stop slandering black men (and black women) who date or marry outside their race.

Yes, I do believe that the majority of black men who date and marry white women do so because they are geniunely attracted. I find white women to be very attractive people. Whether or not this is due to some subconscious conditioning, I don't know. But I'm doubtful because even with white women being held as standards of beauty, there are many white men who love black women much more. And conditioning cannot be responsible for that. Have you ever considered the idea that maybe humans were mant to mix?

Naturally, Black men will value White women highly for their looks and look down upon Black women as being ugly, even if they won't admit it. If you don't believe me, then tune into BET or any other Black show and you will see that most of the Black women depicted are light skinned with extensions to make their hair look like White women's hair. Some even get their noses altered to look thinner, like White women. That's why Halle Barry, Beyonce, and Alicia Keyes are promoted as the most beautiful Black women, even though they look like White women with tans.

The darker skinned Black women with natural Black hair and wide noses are shunned as ugly. So even though they won't admit it, Blacks are being racist against themselves. They only want to see Black women on television if they look part White, and they will jump at the chance to get a White woman if they ever get the opportunity to date one. I know that some of you will say that it's not about the race of the woman but rather her personality and the love between her and the Black man. However, I don't believe that's the case. If all the Black men who date or are married to White women chose to do so without any sort of sub-conscience self hatred, then why aren't there more Black men dating Asian and Hispanic women? Why are most of the Black men who engage in IR relationships with White women?

Some of you may say, "Why should I care what other people think, or about Black people in general? Why should I have to marry a Black woman just because I'm successful, it's not like my marrying one Black woman will do much to help the rest of the Black people!" That seems like sound logic on the surface. However, the truth of the matter is that mainly Black people tend to think this way.

False. The intermarraige rates for Hispanics and for Asians are much, much higher than the intermarraige rates for blacks. In fact, blacks have the second lowest intermarraige rate (even compared to Jews) in this nation, second only to whites.

 

Are you saying then that you suffer from self hatred??

And what of all the BM (my husband included) who dated BW too? What then? Just because he ultimately married white that makes him feel some kind of way about black people?

His "ideal" woman in looks is Hispanic women, (and redheads of course). He doesn't find Asian women attractive at all but his best friend does, and he married one.

Everyone is different and as you said it's not like BM are marrying out in droves....

 

Wow, I missed that snipplet. Black men NOT dating Hispanic and Asian women? The writer of this posts has to live in a different section America than where I live.

Anyways, if you are going to argue against interracial relationships, at least use actual facts rather than just pulling shit (no pun intended...no seriously, that pun was not intended) out of your ass.

 

OKAY......WTF are you talking about?

 

My reply was not referencing you, WhiteSheDevil, but rather the creator of this thread.