Family Dinner and hidden shame

It's just sad all around. Obviously, you date/love those who are within your preference(s). The statement from your grandmother really struck me as it suggests that you're obligated to do some sorta due diligence to find a BW before dating a WW.

 

And let's be real here, usually people end up loving whoever they love and aren't setting out with a script/list. That whole list thing doesn't seem to be working too well, take a good look at internet dating. Too bad they just can't see it as a positive if the person they are bringing around is a good person who has their life together.

 

Man this hits close to home. Really my experience in many ways.

 

So many of the stereotypical attitudes you referenced are US-specific, both with reference to the treatment received from black people and the requests from whites to validate video stereotypes, dance, etc.

 

Yeah it's definitely an American thing. I've dated a Swedish woman, Icelandic woman and Scottish woman and it was totally different than dating American women of any ethnicity tbh

 

Black women are hypocritical to the EXTREME when it comes to interracial dating.

Kinda reminds me of how they're always the first to pipe up about "cultural appropriation" while wearing someone else's hair on their heads...

I think the OP should've defended his preferences to his family. Black men need to be more open about race and gender issues with black women.

I once had a black gf whose ex was white. Didn't think much of it. After we had gone separate ways, I ran into her. The conversation somehow came around to my current woman, and my ex asked what kind of girl she was. (Long time ago -- I don't remember how we got on the topic.) At the time I was with a jamaican woman. My ex stated, with some exacerbation in her voice, "Damn -- you just date around the world, don't you..." This was back in those days when chicks were talking about the "man shortage", and here I was, a college-educated, "eligible" black guy not dating exactly who I was supposed to... even if she was black. lol

We need to air out these issues with black women. If there's a solution to the gender conflict in black society, it will start with being more honest with black women about what we're not going to put up with... so they don't get more rotten.

At this point, they're getting worse and worse.

Here's another pic for you. Those are condom wrappers on her shirt I think. But hey, whatever they do -- it's just good clean fun if they do it with a white dude.

 

whoops meant to edit, but made double post

 

It's true. Black men are penalized "coming and going"... If we don't have anything going for us, we're "typical"... If we do, we need to be brought down a notch...

They can't love us (because that wouldn't work out anyway, in their defeatist mindset), so if you have qualities they admire, they'll hate on you... to show you you "still ain't shit" in their eyes...

A lot of black women have real smoldering grudges against black men... and grudges against black men are okay in our society, so...

Anyway, black men need to start being honest with black women about these issues. At this point, there's nothing to lose...

 

Very good point.

 

You're preaching to the cheap seats this Sunday mawnin, welcome back!!!!!

 

Out of curiosity, how was that different from your perspective?

 

European women in a very broad general sense are a lot classier and it goes deeper than the accents, they just really seems to be more aware of their surroundings and the temperature of a room when you go out with them. Also unless they're a tourist looking for a good time they really don't focus on African-American stereotypes, to them you're American black or not. Any cultural differences are marginal in the sense that you are an American first and black second.

The women I've dated from Europe expect high standards out of their men but it's far less material, more based on your level of intellect (not education, education is largely affordable there so they don't care which college you went to) they more care what you can bring to a conversation and what your niche hobbies and interests are. American women both black and white by and large focus on very trivial things that trip them up and have unhealthy romanticism about their dating life.

For example the Icelandic woman I dated was never afraid to assert herself in any conversation or scenario but she also was aware of when I was the one taking her out and made sure to signify that with her actions to those around us. She did this by charming those around us and by positive affirmations of me as a human being not a stereotype or a "black man." By comparison I went on a date with a black woman and all she talked about was how black we were and even started making fun of my brother when she saw a pic of him when we compared families because he's lighter skinned than me or my dad so she joked "did your mom fuck a white dude?" Then got an attitude with another black woman who she felt was "looking at me wrong." This was only our 2nd date by the way.

Scottish woman I dated was secure in herself and could experience more than just bar and entertainment culture. We could go to museums, we took cooking classes together, we discussed politics together. There are American black women with these traits as well but the dating pool is a lot smaller and as I've stated in another thread eventually I came to the conclusion I am just not sexually attracted to non-white women like that. European culture fits my sensibilities a lot more I guess.

 

Interesting!
As a European woman I can identify with some of your observations.
I want to underline “women in Europe expect high standards from their men but far less material”. It’s not really social standard to evaluate guys according to their income or “ability to take care of you” or whatever...and to talk about such things, especially at the beginning of getting to know.
I also agree with what you said about hobbies, dating, education etc...
And yes to us Americans are Americans, whether black or white.
Now obviously I can’t speak for American women because I’m not dating them;-)

(Lol@accent! My accent used to be pretty good but now it has become a hot mess)

 

European women are about securing her own bag most of the time to worry about the mans.

 

Yeah we don’t rely on the guy’s money.
Unless married with kids and they come to the conclusion that one is gonna be a stay at home parent. Which is common in Switzerland because childcare here is s****.

 

In Norway you have kinder gardens and the system seem to work well.

 

Here they also have kindergarten, but it only starts from 4+ years and childcare before that is crazily expensive. So expensive that you just work for childcare basically. Germany is much better subsidised. I hear Scandinavia has good childcare.

 

@Elklodge I hope your family are calming down about your dating preferences.
By the way, Iceland! That’s so cool, Iceland has been on my list of places to visit for a long time!

 

The recent US census confirms your statement. Most marriages are within the race with the exception of Asians where the women overwhelmingly marry outside their race. Usually to white men.

 

So who are the Asian men getting married to! Importing women from Asia?