Exactly How do I meet White women?

I grew up in South Louisiana in a segregated Elementary School(all blk),Junior High School,High School & College(which was my choice) & can honestly tell you that I have never even set foot in a white person's home except when I used to burglarize them.

But within the last two to three years or so I began to entertain the thought of dating White women since my circles of entertainment(especially musical) have bought me into contact with mostly Whites. So when my last relationship ended(April) I had already made up my mind to look beyond my race for a suitable partner.

Well I jumped in feet first & have talked to maybe a dozen women or so & three I have given my number (with no luck). That's a lot considering I have never talk to a white woman with the idea of a relationship before. But it has begun to seem real daunting to me when I consider how few IR couples I see here in Lousy-Ana. When I considered the 2 or 3? white women out of 100 who would seriously consider dating a Black guy. (And I mean an average Black guy not the rich & famous. 40-60k/yr guys. In other words "Joe Blow The Negro") And out of that infinitesimal 2 percent? I think of the small percentage that would actually be attracted to me. When I consider this I become a little skeptical & believe that this is a social experiment gone bad.

Sometimes I feel that I should not randomly approach White women because deep down I may be approaching someone who may or may not even respect my humanity let alone be attracted to me. ( Most White women I have talked to I must admit seemed to be angels, but I would feel more comfortable knowing that they are IR friendly)

So give some advice to an IR virgin! How do I meet White women?
There are gay clubs ,but no IR? What websites?Please recommend some.(preferably free)
It seems the Internet is my best bet?

(Note: I have never & shall never burglarize ANY persons home! Just my attempt at a little IR humor :wink: )

 

For websites aside from this one:

www.interracialmatcher.com (quite possibly the best...I've had more than my share of luck with it)

www.interracialsingles.net

www.afroromance.com

...just to name a few.

How do you meet white women? Well, you can really just start looking around. Grocery store, libraries, if you go to school then try schools, shopping areas, clubs, the list goes on and on and on. WW interested in BM are not exactly easy to identify much of the time. Sometimes you just have to take a shot. It helps to study some of them before approaching. By "studying" I mean watching what environments they live and/or work in, how they interact with people and their friends, what their interests are. There is a whole list of things to look for. If you fall for a WW who typically doesn't or has never dated black men, then courtship can get interesting if she's open-minded. You have to be creative there. You have to learn what she likes, learn her weaknesses and sometimes her strengths and find a way "in". When I mention weaknesses, don't think I mean trying to hurt her. Nurture her vulnerabilities rather than exploit them. It's hard to explain, but there are cues that'll give you insight.

You have to be brave, you have to be creative, you must be open-minded yourself, and you must know what you want and have a genuine reason for wanting it. First, you need to answer sincerely:

Why are you interested in white women?

We've seen a great diversity of responses to that question on these boards as well as the opposite for the women: Why are you interested in black men?

It may behoove you to study some the answers to those questions. They are all over the boards...but first answer the question for yourself.

 

you know I live in Los Angeles where there is a lot less prejudice and more are open to IR dating but still sometimes I find it in person harder to meet guys. I can't imagine what it must be like in Louisiana! I've been with my girlfriend to clubs which were pretty much 99.9999% blk and either the guys were afraid to approach me, or afraid what others around might think if they did. If i really want a date, I can get on the net and have several. That is because I go to a lot of Interracial sites. I'll also go in interracial chatrooms.. although they aren't as good as they used to be. But they are still out there.

The nice thing about an interracial site, you already know, going in, that the people there are open to dating outside your race.. OR they wouldn't be there.

I've got a girlfriend down in Louisiana who dates BM and she has actually had white men chase her down the highway with her truck and physically harass her for dating BM.. I know you have a much tougher road down there.. I feel for ya..



if you want to know about other sites or chatrooms.. send me an email since pms don't' work here.. I can give you a few ideas.

 

Great insights, QSSassy.

Another thing, Kinfolk, which I know is obvious. If you want to meet WW, don't hang around black neighborhoods. You don't have to go to all white neighborhoods either, but you get the idea.

Now, I assume that when you ask about how to meet WW, you're not just talking about how to "find" them, but how to truly "meet" them. It helps to appeal to them in some way [I don't mean acting out a stereotype either]. If you can't appeal to a particular WW naturally, then get an understanding of what does appeal to her and go from there. The same things apply here with all races of women.

From my experience, bringing out repressed desires opens all kinds of doors to you. For example, if you know that she secretly has wanted a classic romance in her life but has been never experienced one, you can show her that you're the kind of guy that can give it to her, to put things bluntly.

It depends on where you are and where you look as the lovely QSSassy has illustrated. Don't get discouraged. There are numerous WW who want to be with black men...and vice versa.

 

Why Am I interested in White WOMEN? Rhetorical question I believe ,but I will try to answer anyhow.

I Don't Know! But I can honestly tell you that it is not simply physical because I find beauty in women of every ethnic group & worry about men who only are attracted to one race. So It must be something deeper.

I guess it began after High School when I developed a love for Jazz/Blues music & a growing despise for Hip hop. I guess that's innocently when the seeds of incompatibility with my peers(Black) began.(Although I know most Hip hop is purchased by Whites it is entrenched in the young Black community,however). When I began to immerse myself in the live Jazz scene(which Blacks have abandoned) I came into contact with an overwhelming majority of whites. These short & mostly pleasant interactions with White women over a period of time left a very positive impression on me. Though I never seriously considered it for some time I felt there was a different mentality From the women I had grown up around(BLK)

Also the 'type' of black woman(I will not get into that right now!)that was/is usually attracted me made me began to think outside my race.
Sometimes being the only Black man in a Jazz club(I have been mistaken for one of the musicians many times lol!) I started to believe that the alternative to my solution or dissolution with Black women was right before me & I had never open my eyes and given it much thought.
So I after years of dating Black women I thought maybe I should try elsewhere.
Have I simply falling prey to stereotypes(about different mentality between Black/White women) because of my admitted lack of experience in IR relations & coming from a segregated background? Seriously is there a different mentality?

Damn Pinnacle never ask me such a tough question again! I rambled didn't''t I?. That's not easy for me to answer. If That didn't make much sense I will try it again some other time.

 

It was a good question he asked you.

and rambling is good.. if you can't do it with anyone else, why not us?? We won't judge you.

 

Since April/May I have began going out to more of the trendier area's in town (Marigny area Of N.O.) & I rarely see any IR couples (though the women are mostly sweet). I get a little disenchanted but when I get some discouragement from you guys it gives me a little more resolve to stick this thing out.

Sassy you seem to be a very nice & are an attractive lady. Maybe the men in the club are a little intimidated?

 

intimidated by me? I sure hope not... I don't think I have an intimidating unapproachable looking face

 

IR in the Big Easy..

Having been in the New Orleans area myself for 2 yrs, I can readily attest to the relatively stagnant IR scene here. I likewise found it somewhat amusing to notice the seemingly overwhelming patronization of the N.O. jazz/blues culture by whites. This phenomenon of "cross-cultural affinity" tends to give me a bit of leverage as I patronize the local classical music scene (plenty of white women to go around there).

From my experience being that rare black face in a sea of white can be advantageous. In the blues bar and the concert hall alike, I've actually had white women come up to me and initiate conversation. And trust me, I'm no Reggie Bush or Tiger Woods either. I tend to be sensitive to the ways in which white women express attraction, and the key is knowing how to "pick up" on this dynamic and use it to your advantage.

Despite my lack of superstar standing, I tend to exude "status" in all my ways. I don't play into any stereotypes. I am articulate, relaxed, even somewhat aloof. I know who I am, and make no compromises. And women of all races pick up on that. Unfortunately many parts of the N.O. area suffer from a traditionally-minded, segregated mentality (Hey, it's no Minneapolis). But in certain areas where the cultures tend to blend a bit - i.e. the Quarter, lower Uptown, the Marigny (which actually strikes me as one of the more liberal areas of town), being a black man with class, culture, and "status" can take you a long way.

 

Re: IR in the Big Easy..

Enjoying the music scene here is exactly what opened my eyes up to the possibility of 'IR" dating & knowing someone has a similiar love for music as I do. I have been going out to Marigny quite frequently the past couple years & especially the past six months & I consider myself a 'regular' at 3 or 4 clubs there. It is among the more trendier places in N.O., but I only occasionally see IR couples(bm/ww) although the atmosphere at least seems 'welcoming'/'indifferent' to it.

I have had a few ww initiate conversation also(mainly mistaken me for one of the musicians) ,but I have taken it more as them trying to be friendly & I try not to take that oppurtunity to always make a pass at them. Unfortunately I have only made that mistake three times in the past few months. I have never been a woman magnet anyhow ,but when women really are interested I almost always failed to pick up on this. Takes a tree to fall on me some women have told me in the past.

I tend to stay away from the Quarter as it is a little too touristy for me & although Marigny does have it's share of tourist it does have more of a local flavor. I'll continue to go, as I do love Jazz/Blues especially, & will try to initiate a bit more conversations/dancing if the lady seems approachable.

Thanx very much for the insight SMrSykes