Drive by dating???

Wondering what you all think of this. I went on a blind date this Sunday, the guy seemed nice based on our emails and phone conversation. Professional guy, lives in Chicago, good age, no kids, funny etc. etc.
So we meet for coffee and wow this must have been the shortest date I have EVER been one, I told my friends it was a "drive by/ check her out date".
I think we may have spend 20 minutes together before he said" I am wired do you want to take a walk?" I was a bit irritated by that but thought ok, why not. But then we just walked out and he stopped at his car. So I figure ok, cool, he is not interested in me, no problem at all. At this point we didn't even get past small talk, couldn't even get a "read" on that guy and figured I could take it or leave it. I walk home and am not even upstairs when he starts texting me that I have a lovely body! Thanks... I think???I mean of course I like that he likes my body but don't you think a guy should keep that for himself until maybe we are past small talk? Then he asks when we can see each other again?
Oh for the whopping 20 minutes we spend together (Damn it, took me longer to get ready for the date than actual time we spent together :lol: ) there wasn't a lot of eye contact.

So all together I am thinking 2 things
He is either very shy or just an asshole....lol

What do you make of this? Just curious.

 

Oooooohh! I am feeling the asshole vibe here too. Even if he is shy, why not take a longer walk after stopping at his car. And is that all he is concerned about is the way you look? I would maybe give him one more date but if it's weird, again, forget him. Maybe he was overtaken by how much he liked the way you look and didn't know what to say or do. Either way it was a BS date. And then texting you that soon??? He sounds a bit immature. You could try mentioning the way you're feeling about your first date to him, just see what he says or how he reacts?? Maybe he knows he acted like a fool and that's why he's asking for a second date/chance so soon?! Never know.

 

Yah I think I would say something like....I'm surprised you would like to see me again...you didn't really seem interested when I met you. Let him dig himself out of this.

I'm actually guessing he's very shy and is more comfortable behind the computer or the phone. And I'd definitely say he needs some schooling in social graces. But sometimes it's hard to tell if he's a jerk or shy. I would give the benefit of the doubt though and see. But I would definitely say something.

 

so...since i am the queen of drive by dates i will put a different spin on this...before magic man...i would do the coffee 15-20 minute date...it's just a check you out date...i am sorry but i will not spend hours on the phone or emailing with someone only to find out that i am not attracted to them...call me shallow...i love beautiful men...and to be fair if the guy is not attracted to me i would rather he not walk away thinking that he wasted a whole bunch of time getting to know someone that he is not attracted to as well...
after the drive by date then the real conversations/emails and dates start...
just my .02 cents

 

I agree with all 3 of you lol.
I am inclined to write him off as ass but then giving him the benefit of the doubt thinking he may have been nervous (which is totally cool, I am nervous too.)

Oh Lipstick, I don't have a problem with the idea of a 'drive by date' in general, I do the same just call it my "non committal coffee date" but I do leave the door open to spending time with him if the date goes well or else say beforehand that I have plans at xx time and will have to leave at a specific time.

Well I shall see, I think I am going to send him an email to check and see what this was about lol. I will let you know how this develops :wink:

 

Oh yah I don't have a problem with the quick meet thing at all....just more the way he did it. Some won't keep the door open to continue things on that particular day. There is a lot of "wisdom" out there telling people to not do this. But then he texted right away so that was a bit odd. It really seems to me that he doesn't really know what he's doing and he's fumbling.

Hopefully he'll tell you what was going on.

The whole surface chit chat thing wouldn't do it for me though. Even in a 20 minute meet and greet. The surface stuff better be done in the first minute or so for me. But then I know I'm odd in that way

Definitely keep us posted!

 

Well, I dunno about this guy. I know some guys are shy, but from a guy's perspective he should've come correct and "man up". I think he froze because when he saw you, he thought "DAMN! she's hot!" and couldn't do much else on the date. That shows a lack of confidence in himself and that is not a good sign. Guys who are confident in themselves and what they have to offer would've approached the date with bravado and had a blast with you, making a great impression the FIRST time. He's lucky you're going to give him a second chance, because to me he totally blew it.

 

Dating sucks sometimes! That said, I'd give the guy the benefit of the doubt. I'd thank him for the compliment and ask him why his behavior didn't show his interest. His answer should indicate if he's shy or just an asshole, Chigirl.

 

So I asked him what the whole thing was about but he didn't understand what "my problem" was, he thought it was a great first meeting. Oh Lawd... wonder what future dates with that guy would be like lol. I just told him that it appears we have a very different approach to dating and that I wish him good luck... so I guess the verdict is asshole :wink:

 

It's not your problem, it's his. Move on. Best wishes!

 

Just what i thought....next!

 

Thank you all
Next? LOL already working on it he he he

My friends talked me into reviving my online profile so I am working on some blind dates :wink:

 

Good for you!

 

A 20 min date? Damm I've never shorted a girl like that. Dude must have issues to do something like that.

 

The way things went Im guessing (and is probably right knowing guys like this.) He probably wasn't interested in dating just sex, because after the date you said he text you about how good you look afterwards he probably wasn't feeling the date and went to his second option thinking probably all he had to do was give you a compliment and you'll invite him over and he'll get what he wants....Only thing the feeling is suppose to be mutual when that happens so I say he is a rookie and yeah an asshole...Don't worry chigirl keep trying.

 

I agree Kenny...
Well I have another date lined up tonight so let's see how this one will go over lol. Maybe (hopefully) I will have something nice to post about this one :lol:

 

OK I am back with another poll :lol: I swear dating give one all kinds of ideas for posts. It's crazy what people do.

First it went well, or I should say better than the first 2 dates lol. We laughed a lot, talked a lot etc. bla bla bla.
There may be potential for a 2nd date with this guy, kinda depends how he and I play it this week.

BUT (yeah there is always a but...) maybe I AM to picky ??? I dunno

So, the guy arrived earlier than I so he was already sitting at the table when I got there and I didn't get to see all of him. When we left and got up I saw that he had on SWEATPANTS and SNEAKERS!!! What a horror. I mean seriously, aren't we all out there trying to make a good first impression???? WHY MEEEEEEE lol

How would you react if your date shows up in sweatpants?

 

:smt017 :roll:

Sweatpants on a first date? Unless we had met in the gym and decided last-minute to grab a bite to eat, otherwise, NO!

 

WOW, no way! I can see the sneakers with jeans maybe and a nice shirt but sweat pants?! :shock: He must really not care what he looks like or can't afford decent clothes. Not saying sweats aren't decent (for certain things) but not for a first date. Come on now. If his personality is good then I say give him one more chance. If he wears sweats again, be done with him.

Did he at least look cute in the sweats?

 

What is up with guys these days? Brothas gotta do a better job of stepping up.