Double standards for cheating?

I totally second Sardonic T, in fact since you started posting I come here more often.

The reasonings you found beneath these things happening are good observations, I've heard them before from a man, both of them, regarding lying and cheating as well, and they make perfect sense, still......, indeed, not excusable .

To add, Ive seen the ugly duckling syndrome on women too.....girls who were insignificant in highschool and turned into beautiful young women becoming crazy once they got men's attention, non selective, craving and depending on men's attention, excessively preocupied with their looks when before they were just putting something on....and quite promiscuous (more than i've seen all the "pretty" girls ever be). I guess they bloomed later and felt to compensate all they've missed. Thats not to say that all who bloom later turn out like that, but in some cases they do, I think its a matter of the individual and his morals and character what path they decide to take, afterall.

And no, women do not have more options then men :wink: :smt018 ...even numerical, there are more women then men in the world. Plus, not all women are pretty, and for a woman, that counts, while as we say here, a man has to be just a bit more beautiful then the devil and its ok

 

I agree that WOMEN don't necessarily have more options. I think attractive women usually do have more options though they may not always realize. I'm sure you know Seychelles, being as fine as you are. :wink:

 

Re: Liars, Cheats, and other Unscrupulous Demons...

Wow Tmass, you're a very deep, and educated man. I enjoy reading what you have to say. I especially found the part about how the single man finally finds a woman who accepts him, and she proceeds by cleaning him up and making him desirable to other women by accident. Very, very interesting indeed.

 

Seychelles,
1st I've seen your pic and I second Shaft2k4's sentiment... you are fine.
I do not agree in anyway or form that men have more options than men.

Consider this....
Women control sex. You know it, I know it and most of all women know it. Control in itself breeds options. Power allows anyone who has it the right to be picky. Using my analogy of the rich vs. poor man, a person with means may choose to eat anywhere he or she would like. A person with limited finances has to limit where he or she dines.
Women are no different. Let's look at the bare essences of a sexual relationship regardless if love, lust, or indifference is present. A man enters a woman. This evasive act gives the woman the right and the power to decide who enters and who doesn't. Not only does she have a God give right, she is given a legal right. It doesn't matter what stage of a sexual act a woman and man are engaged in, the woman merely has to say the words no or stop to cause it all to come to a screeching halt. Anything that happens after the word no or stop, is legally RAPE!
That is power!
Inherently, men have a stronger sexual drive (omitting those who have a medical problem or women with an abnormally high sex drive) therefore; the very raw and basic need to have sex is higher in men.

Stay with me Seychelles...

We are all driven by our most basic desires. A woman is a nurturer by design. A nurturer’s desire is to care for and be cared for. A man, on the other hand, is an aggressor. He was designed to for dominance. Have you ever wondered why a woman goes through menopause and ceases the ability to conceive while a man produces seeds until his death, regardless of his age? It is the natural design. This deep rooted desire or instinctive drive for sex leaves men powerless. Because women do not share this drive they have the ability to be more selective in their sexual mates. Eventually, to fulfill the basic need a man will ignore all standards or preferences and mate with anyone who will mate with him. C’mon guys, help me out; in our youth we have all had Sunday morning regrets.
Women rarely do this. They don’t have to. Even the ugliest woman inside and out can find a man to sleep with her if she so desires. Now the ugliest man doesn’t have that choice (sans Flavor Flav.)

Women control sex and because of that control women have more options. Men are at the mercy of the superior sex.

C’mon now, you had to but that !!

 

Everything you've stated is true, only let's remember that it's only true in civilized society. In societies like Iran and Pakistan, where women are treated like property and second-class citizens, sex is a right of the husband over the wife. I've even read in variuos "guides" for Muslim women that angels curse a woman until morning if she refuses her husband. Religions just love this type of pedagogy! I think that another Muslim teaching allows the husband to "lightly beat" (I love this one too) the wife if she "disobeys" (refuses sex, for example).

Now, I was just thinking about this today. In the civilized society, a woman can legally refuse her husband sex... but should she? I hear tons of stories about women who routinely refuse their husbands sex or who use it as a reward/punishment instrument, and I wonder - why would you do something so obviously distructive to the marriage? If there is a sure way to send the marriage train downhill, this would be the one. I believe that a wife should not refuse her husband sex unless she doesn't feel well, etc... because she is the only one he can get it from! How hurt and offended would a wife be if her husband turned around and used the same "tactic"! It is the most hurtful means of rejection and humiliation I can think of! Now, if you're not satisfied, if your husband has not learned to please you - then do your best to solve the problem with him! It's not easy, but the first step is to face the problem, not hide from it.

 

This is indeed, a good thread, and I found your post very interesting Moskie...
Well, here`s a part of my theory (the whole thing would fill up hundreds of notebooks )

I believe that the human conception of sex has been completely screwed up by two things that are closely linked: Power and religions!

All the vocabulary we use to describe sex, is defined by these two things...it has been for centuries and centuries...

A man TAKES sex from a woman...a woman GIVES sex to a man...subconsciously (or not) we all firmly BELIEVE that!!

Our idea is that the woman sex drive SHOULD BE lower than the man`s, even though there are no definite hormonal proof of that. Nymphomaniac women do not have a significantly higher testosterone levels and men who aren`t sex-crazy aren`t necessarily testosterone deficient!

Where am I going you wonder??? I do not think the difference in the conception of sex between men and women would have been as huge as it is weren`t it for the use of sex as a domination tool (and here I take sex in a broad definition) and weren`t it for the beliefs and religions that have "plagued" mankind over the centuries and continue to do so!

But we live in the Matrix sisters and brothers...we are now well programmed and convinced NOW that men SHOULD cheat more, that women Should want sex less than men unless they are psychologically imbalanced;
Therefore we aren't`t that shocked when a man cheats, whereas when it`s a woman, everyone picks up a stone...and is ready to throw!

Some women refuse sex to their husbands bcoz they believe in that idea, that men live for sex and would do anything for it! so they use it for...POWER!
They indeed are forgetting that by doing so, they refuse sex to themselves...oh but they also believe that they should want it less...so it`s OK!
Men themselves subconsciously believe that they live for sex...so if their wife refuses to "give" them sex, instead of talking it out or shouting their frustration and start a dialog, they compensate by sleeping with their secretary...and everything happens the way WE ALL EXPECTED!!...and life goes on... :roll:

Just a theory, folks...just a theory.

 

If I had posted before JReminator, I would've said the same thing.

Now I'm really curious if there's any scientific prove to the so known statement of men having a higher sex drive then women, because I don't know of any, and I don't even know if it is measurable, but untill that will be proven, I strongly don't believe that.

Women have just as strong sex drive. You'd be amazed, but they really do. Stop seeing us as some barbie dolls. We are very much alive, in that aspect too. And yes, men can control it too, just like women can inspite of their strong sexual drive, can still be selective, or abstinent if required, or faithful. Thats what I think, unless, some study shows me that indeed men have a stronger sex drive. But I think it's just it was not OKAY for women to have it and speak freely of it that you guys have been left with this impression, and maybe some women really did internalize the notion that sex is not ok untill they started to believe it and repress themselves.......actually, i'm convinced that happened, the work of centuries and centuries of keeping the woman in "her place".

 

:lol: *at JREMINATOR*



Truthfully, when it all boils down to it, it's about the same. It just depends on the playing field where it happens.



Take America for instance. Long ago, when patriarchy caused a backlash which resulted in the Women's Movement, things had changed between the 2 sexes here in this country. At first, women are obligated to be not only the housekeeper/cook/maid/babysitter of the household (as well as the 'domestic attendant' to the man) but to also be in complete compliance of it all, as long as the man in the relationship says so (not to mention him having the final say on everything), but women in America decided to fight back and demand equal rights, which also not only includes in the household, but also in the workforce, along with equal voting rights as well.



When all of this happened, and the women finally got want they wanted, ever since then, there has been this power struggle back-and-forth between the 2 genders, and this being the 'free country' that is, doesn't make things any better. Now, not only do women have more of an advantage here in the states when it comes down to selecting a man ( accept percentage-wise ), but they also have an advantage in the judicial world, as well as the dating scene. These days, IF you even give a woman the wrong kind of look on your face, and she cries rape and/or calls the police, there really isn't too much you can do to keep from going to jail or even prison. Along with that, there isn't any argument that you can win either with a woman that won't be interpreted as 'male aggression' or 'hostility', even if it could be an act of self-defense against the woman in question who could be causing problems for the 2 in the relationship. In addition, along with all the qualities that women expect men to have in order to be considered a 'real man', such as money, a job, a fancy car, a nice house, etc., along with all of that, the man is now expected to be the one who caters to the woman now in today's time, and the woman isn't expected to be anything more than just a 'good woman' who's always there to lay around and be a piece of 'pleasure' to supposedly keep her man at bay. These days, that's what only expected of a woman here in America, and the funny thing about it is the fact that half of these qualities that women look for in a 'real man' are half of the same qualities that they not only protest against in men for the sake of 'equal rights', but expect a man to display when 'equal rights' means getting all the fringe benefits of it...



hopefully, you get what I'm saying here, though in other nations with different cultures such as Saudi Arabia, things are still very traditional, in fact, most of the Middle East pretty much still is, and either way, none of it is necessarily right or wrong, depending on who's involved in the relationship and what the couple or pair in question BOTH compromise on, however, in my opinion, it's only right or wrong when people as a society decide for themselves what will work for everyone within the society, instead of allowing people to think for themselves. Needless to say, what may seem like a good idea for some isn't a good idea for all. This is why there is so much power tension between the sexes. Too many people have decided that just because men are like this (dogs, sexually dependent, aggressive, etc.) that they should be obligated to do/say/think/feel this and that, and because women are like this (delicate, irrational, fragile, etc.) that they should be either obligated to or not obligated to do/say/think/feel this and that, and these labels we place back-and-forth upon one another as men and women only keep the tension between the sexes going, at least to me.....

that's why the dating game is the way it is, and has gone from first kiss to booty calls.

 

oh, and thanks for the compliments guys :smt001

and the power to choose who they sleep with, not only do man have it too and they are equally desirable, like I don't see it in terms of I'm giving it to him........well he's giving it to me too and maybe he's a selective guy........but nonetheless, saying there is such a power of women to control sex, it only works against them, since men will constantly be after getting sex from women and do pretty much anything, lying, deceiving a little bit or a little more, and so on, to get it.

 

Either way, both sexes get caught up in all of it. What people like that tend to do is use, abuse, and exploit the weaknesses of the opposite gender in order to assert power and authority over them.

 

In my opinion women nowdays have the possibility, which they often use, to play the role that suits them best to the occasion lol. Meaning they have the power to choose when to put the fragile I'm a woman face and when to put the I'm equal to you and I deserve and demand this and that face.

It's always the woman who is the victim and gets the sympathy, not the man, even if she's been hostile or guilty too, so it's very easy for her to save face from everything, and they use this too much, including at the end of relationships let's say, it's always the man's fault that it ended, he was a this and that and she had no responsability, was just the poor victim, but when she wants something, then we are equal.

So if I see any power women nowdays have above men it's this double nature of them, as women and human beings, which they can switch to and away from, in a negative or positive way, ( they can say "But I'm a woman" .....when all the other 99% of the time they wanna be treated as equal - and you know what, I think they deserve to be acknowledged and treated as being both in the same time unless they use this in a negative way), rather than the power of the being the ones who "give" sex.....because having the power to choose who to "give" sex to, from 741541 or 1 million men who wanna have sex, doesn't have much value since most women want relationships not sex anyway, and for sex only, men can choose just as well who to have only sex with, this is where attraction comes in, since there are plenty of women who want sex only also, or sell it in one way or another.

 

I'm definitely with you on all of that. 8) 8)

 

the webmaster is bringing posts back from the dead...

now he really is becoming like one of us commoners.

:twisted:

 

The webmaster is so enigmatic. :lol:

Nice to see you posting. Of course, now my curiosity is piqued.

 

I didn't mean anything by it. You just wrote a little bit about your situation, but not enough to figure out what's really going on. I was just having some fun. :wink:

 

I would! I like to see how the stories get translated on the big screen.

When's the book come out? I like to read the book before seeing the movie anyway?