Dominance vs control

ok so there are quite a few on here who have talked about dominance. Whether they feel they are a dominant male and prefer that role, or if they are women who prefer more dominant men.

What do you see as the difference between being dominant and controlling or maybe even abusive?

Where do the lines lie?

 

To me dominate means I know what I want and I do what I want and I make that clear but I have no desire to make others think or do as I wish.

Controlling means I want others to bend to my will whether they want to or not.

Some people think dominate and controlling are the same but I've seen many controlling people take a subservient role to control a situation or other people and dominate people don't always control a situation or other people.

I do believe however that when some people say they want a dominate person they really mean domineering in that controlling sense.

Those poor souls.... :roll:

 

I think Lestat means that controlling people can be passive aggressive as well. And there is definitely a benign side to dominating people: they can be bossy but not necessarily want to tell people what to do (like me - honest!)

 

I've always held the view that anyone who feels the need to dominate i.e. subdue the will of another in a relationship, is ill in the mind and needs help. I want an emotional and intellectual equal.

PS: Lestat I like your avatar/pic. Beavis is so funny ("... I am cornholio ..."). I think Butthead has a single digit IQ, and if you multiply the value by half, you get Beavis' IQ

 

"Are you threatening me?" 8)

MistressB you are correct on the passive aggressive thing.

 

Control is one of the pillars of dominance. To have more control (in any situation or area) over the other than vice versa makes you the dominant one in that particular situation or area.

Controlling is a permanent state of dominance over someone else. Too controlling is crossing the physical or mental boundaries of comfort of the one who is being controlled. The lines lie at the acceptance or tolerance level of the one who is controlled.

Bullshit? Crap?