Does Anyone else HATE when Blacks Say You Have Self Hate for Dating IR?

is it defeatist or being brutally and totally honest with one self about the adversity and using it as motivation to not let history repeats itself?

if a child or woman gets raped and molested by a parent - family mamber - or a close one

does that person not have the right to be honest with ones self and channel the negative energy into positive outlets and try to inspire others in healthy ways?

i agree that action speaks louder than words but looking in the mirror and being honest is imporatant

 

I've been following this particular thread since last night and took a good thirty or so minutes reading everyone's posts. Everyone here provided excellent comments and thoughts pertaining to this issue regarding the issue of interracial relationships and self-hate. I couldn't really comment because I wanted to deliver a more thorough explanation of the whole thing. But I figured that typing everything could be hard to do, seeing my mental stability now is pretty much seeded in fatigue. So, I'll deliver my words here in bullet points, and I'll follow with my speech using a site which records voices. When you see the link, just click "Click to Listen".

Click here and then press "Click to Listen" for my speech.

Anyway, to may point clear, let is reassure ourselves a few things:

1. The few black women or men or people of any group who consider us self-hating for dating interracial are simply feeding into a social construct which is archaic.

2. How we define ourselves isn't based on the culture, nor should we be forced to embrace something that doesn't interest us personally. Our identity is based on our individual selves.

3. Are there black men out there who actually date interracial for the wrong reasons? Of course.

4. Those who are quick to judge (notably the black men and women who call us self-loathing negroes) should look at themselves and realize they too are a product of what they hate.

5. Humans are humans, and love is love. We embrace the inevitable: progression of social attitudes.

 

Hmm...I can feel the OP.

To be honest, I think the whole athlete thing is complete horse crap. The point
is simple, people are going to date and marry essentially what their environment is. Because the majority of black people are in black communities, and it would make sense that they will marry other blacks because that's only what's around. But as black people, especially black males began to integrate into more diverse communities, the chances of them marrying or dating black women decreases because there is more options. Hence why interracial marriages under black males alone are 1 out of every 5 in the year 2008. (I wouldn't be suprirse if it's 1 out of every 4 now.)

Now take athletes, who are entirely surrounded by mostly caucasian and non black woman, it's completely understandable that they would marry a non black woman, because that's what is what's mostly around them.

Take an excellent example, the rapper shwayze. he was born and raised in malibu, the only black person in his school. Almost all of his friends are white, and now he's dating a white woman. Your environment heavily dictates essentially who you are going to date. Caucasian women are by far my preference, but since I live in a border town close to mexico (San Diego) the last few of my relationships have been with latina's. I'd have to go up north a bit more to find caucasian woman.

And yeah, I also hate the bs that it's racist for white people to only date their race, but if a black person only dates their race, there is nothing wrong with that. It's 100% BS. No way around it.

 

much truth young brudda

athlete or not, at most mixed colleges, brothas are going to be surrounded by white baby joints. It's hard NOT to go that way. Only girls I was cracking on were white ones, because the few black shorties I came into contact with were butt ugly.

 

Simple and to the point...

The only people using rhetoric like "self hate" is black women. The reason they openly use terms like this is because by and large, society doesnt hold black women accountable for prejudice. Its simply politically incorrect to do so. This leads to hate & especially jealousy being passed off as some form of "black pride"

Theres a lot of hurt, insecurity and jealousy between BW/BM. All of which never really gets dealt with on a REAL level in any way shape or form. Instead theres a lot of rhetoric and ass kissing between black women and hateful/prejudice comments toward BM/WW.

 

Not true... People of all races have people who are deemed by others within their ethnic group/ race as self haters. You have black men who date white women because they fell in love with someone who happened to be white. You also have ALOT of black men and black women who date white people because of self hate (look at the Caribbean, South America, Europe.... look anywhere where whites colonized non whites and you will see it).

 

By definition yes, I just mean that term itself.

 

what?

 

Some of yall act like self hate is just this magical thing that just appeared. Self hate has always and will more than likely always exist, its not just a black issue, its a human issue. I bet you can find white self haters, asian self haters etc etc. Self hate is rampant in the Dominican Republic, South America, a decent amount of countries in Africa, Asia, etc etc. You can go to any country in the world and find self hate..... Ive seen Dominicans as dark as Wesley Snipes who will say they are indio oscura or some other bs because the term negro has a bad stigma to it. Dominicans for the most part associate black with Haitians. You can find Afro Colombians, Afro Brazilians, Afro Venezuelans, African Americans, Afro Uruguayans, etc etc etc. who purposely try to have sex with whites so they can have kids with "pelo bueno" and blue eyes.

White is associated with high class, beauty, and opportunity. Black is associated with poverty, ugly, destitute opportunities in life, and any other negative thing you can think of. Alot of black people (and non white people) feel like the only way they can succeed is to become an athlete, become a musician, do some other stereotypical bs to get a leg up in life, or marry a white person.

Not everyone who dates interracially does it because they suffer from self hate, but to say there arent ALOT of people who do date interacially because of self hate is FUCKING IGNORANT AS HELL.

If yall dont understand that then yall need to WAKE THE FUCK UP... Some of yall are acting naive as fuck about self hate.

 

OK, so how many south americans you know ? maybe you have to wake the fuck up too.

I live in south america for about 20 years and i don't know no one in this description.

'' i have to date a white blablala, for get a leg up in life.''

c'mon!

 

I aint reading all that. damn it. use bullet points LOL

 

Just cause you dont know anybody like that doesnt make my statement false and your statement true. For awhile I was thinking about travelling to the DR, Colombia, and Brasil. I did alot of research (read a shitload of forums from expats) and alot of these people had examples of girls (pardas, mulattas, negras, morenas,) they met in poor barrios and favelas that wanted a kid by a white man so they good have kids with "pelo bueno", light skin, and the list goes on. Go to Jamaica you have hella dudes and females bleaching so they can look like a "browning". You have sankies in the DR who meet white women on vacation, fuck them, "fall in love with them", get a greencard to whoever the white girls country of origin is, and drop the girl as soon as they get there. "Marrying up" and "cleaning la raza" is a thing thats goes on.

I have a good bit of Mexican, Boricua, Venezuelan, and Chilean friends who have told me their parents would be pissed the fuck off if they came home with a negro/negra for a novio/novia. Their parents wanted them to marry up and have kids with blanco/blancas.

I dont doubt your experience, but doubt mine either because at the end it is our "own experience".

 

Man you know that shit aint that long lol. Off subject but are you an Auburn or bama fan?

 

First of all, i don't doubt your experience, you can bet on it! you just became a lillte bit agressive in your last post.
Im talking to you with a lot of respect!

so about poor people, for me you can't call the poverty of this people of self hate. They are just a bunch of people trying to get out of this poor guettos. and we have a huuuuuuuge gap in this poverty issue when we compare the U.S reality and South america reality.

 

I didnt mean any disrespect, I was just a little frustrated at how some people act like self hate is a myth or act as if its farfetched to believe people marry whites because of self hate. I understand that people who live in poverty will do what they have to do to survive, thats completely understandable... But at the same time self hate could play a part in why a non white poor person might date a white person. A gringo of any race is wealthy in comparison to your average 3rd world citizen. But when you throw in the fact the gringo is white, you do have a good amount of low class people who will date them not only because the gringo is richer than them. It could also have to do with a certain level of self hate.

What part of Brasil are you from?

 

Don't worry bro!! :drinkers:

let me tell you a litlle about my background.

Im from Southeast region http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southeast_Region,_Brazil

I come from a good family, private school and now private Law college, im moving to australia in a couple of days.

i have dated girls of all races here, when i mean all, is ALL lol. no one never come to me saying like i'm a sellout or i have self hate or any kind of bullshit. NEVER.

here its part of your culture say, not just all black guys are into blonde girls but ALL BLONDES ARE INTO BLACK GUYS.

Even the white people ( A LOT ) i know are ok with this racial dating stuff. i feel like this is something ok for the most of the young people from brazil.

i can't talk about the poor people cuz thank god i have a good life. much better than the majority of the population of brazil, why not from all south america.

but in my point of view this girls trying to marry ''gringos '' or white guys for money are just prostitutes. just like that man.

is money, simple as that, there's nothing about self hate, nothing. only money.


i feel like all this racial stuff still a giant taboo in U.S. from both sides
black and white side.

 

and sorry for my poor english!

 

Naw its cool man, you speak English better than alot of native English speakers lol. Maybe someday when I can save up enough money to come down to Brasil you can show me around. I was thinking about going to Salvador, Goiania, Sao Paulo, and a few other places.

 

u know us alabama people are lazy as fuck. LOL

Im not big on football like I once was but I follow a little. Im more towards auburn. I like em both