do white women prefer black men when they are older?

Yeah that sounds about right;-):smt048, that's what I will say next time.

 

Clearly this method works really well for you.

Amazing that you are single!

 

Lol

Sorry but this is something dudes need to do.


If a dude pull out $100 on the first date then he's gonna be put in the trick bag. Then he exp to do it all the time.

Fuck that.

Lol
Lol
Lol
Lol

 

I think it really depends on the people. For some $100 is nothing and they are going to spend that whether they are out with someone or out on their own, so it's no big deal. They want to go to certain places, that's what they are comfie with, so that's what they do.

There are others who usually hang out at McD's so going to Starbucks is out of their comfie zone, Sizzler would be a stretch, and they think Olive Garden is the best of the best.

It also depends on the motives.

I think part of this stuff really does come down to the age groups too. Men over 45 who are looking to women to be paying are much different than 20-30somethings who grew up with it being more typical.

I've found that men in my age range who are expecting to get paid for, can't handle buying a coffee or a lunch tend to be a mess in general. I went on this thing for a bit where I decided I was going to pay for myself no matter what and opted to pay for them some of the time as well. It was a disaster. Not one man worth going out with a second time.

I have found that most men who are over 45 who have their shit together are not comfortable with women paying for themselves or picking up the full tab, at first. That's simply not the way they were raised. And no matter what people want to say about it, it is what it is.

Different people are conditioned to do things differently. Women are told that men will bring their best up front and to take notice of how they are at the beginning and that chances are they will go down hill over time. They will make the most effort early on and then once they "get you" they get complacent and don't put out the effort as much. Then there are guys like you who talk about how a female needs to prove it to you and put in the time, before you are going to make any effort. No wonder people are having a tough time getting together.

I have to wonder though, if maybe some aren't too concerned with what others may think of them or call them (i.e. "simps), rather than doing what it takes to get the results they want.

This may start some shit, but I'll tell you, at least here (and I do know CA can be very different) there is a racial difference in how men tend to date.

 

Everything is relative to how much money but it is the motive. Believe it or not generally men do want that one woman but or at least just get the ass and love will come soon. Good or bad it is what is.


In any case , a dude don't want or shouldn't want to get put in the trick bag.



If a dude is spending heavy on the first few dates he is setting himself up for failure.


I'm gonna start a new tgread on this in a second

 

Don't confuse tricking with genuine interest. I spent a lot on my first few dates with my girlfriend totally gave her princess treatment because I was excited about this woman. Once we got into a relationship I did something I didn't do before. I set a budget. I told her I was only willing to spend x per week and anything that cost more than x that she wanted to do she had to pay for. This is called team work and if we plan on being a team we act as one. Not going to say it was easy for her but because this woman loves me she swallowed down whatever old school thinking she had so we could build something together. That fear of tricking only counts when the chick ain't worth it but after a certain age women care far less about momentary shit. They want a man with a plan that includes them.

 

We are talking about people you just really met. If you been with her for over a year and you haven't been pussy-matized then cool.


Remember I talked about a woman I was with for years and I decided she was the one I'll work an extra job for...lol

She showed me she was worth it

 

That's the thing she didn't show me anything. I trusted my gut. I think with experience you can tell right away who a person is if you keep your eyes open.
The thing is its always a risk but some people are worth that risk fam

 

What was up with trump and Nancy Odell?

See the bolded.

I hate writing or reading in paragraphs cause things can be missed.

But in any case you will see what I'm saying. I'm continuing this in another thread so people can see what we are talking about

 

There you go right there.

 

Good point.

I think if you are still playing games, testing them out year+ down the road, you have issues yourself and need to get out. I don't have time for that shit. I have no interest in all the testing crap.

 

Exactly
It's exhausting and a waste of time

 

The thing is a woman shouldn't start out as a co-manager in your business . She need to earn that position.

As a man you should show them u have a plan (like you said) a man with leadership qualities cause women want a man to follow.

Trust me even at a certain age.....people are still foolish. Trust me. I talked to one female and she was talking about how a man should pay for everything and a man is supposed to go all out . I responded and why are you still single at age 57?

 

It's not about playing games ... It's about not getting played.

 

Interesting....you have a lot of specifics. Why are you still single?

 

Well....I think it's interesting that TDK is in a relationship. So maybe he's onto something there, eh?

Based on many of the things you have posted, it seems to me that you don't have much faith in your ability to choose a good partner.

For some of us, buying a lunch or two isn't getting played. It's part of dating and getting to know people, and more importantly learning more about ourselves and what works and what doesn't for us. Dating is a process. It takes investing time, energy, and some money (no matter how small or big you do things). Personally, I have found trying to short cut things hasn't worked out too well. It's like we all want to do these interviews, testing, etc to prevent getting hurt. But the problem is you aren't going to get the good stuff until you are ready to open yourself up to it, which also means opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt. To me, the possible pain or spending some money is worth the risk. I know 99.9% of the time it's not going to be something that works out. But that one time when it does....it makes it all worth it!

 

I'm no expert, but I think it probably has a lot to do with a woman becoming old enough and independent enough to take decisions even if they anger the rest of her family. She is also probably beginning divorce proceedings or newly divorced and looking for a sense of freedom and liberation that she may not have ever felt, especially if she was a young bride and went from parents' house to husband's house. Her willingness to explore her own feelings probably increases exponentially.

 

Exactly. No risk no reward

 

What makes think I'm single ?. I never told anyone my status except divorce. Only one person knew I dated anyone since I've been here. Hell you have not seen my face.

I'm going to say this again and read closely, I'm not spending over 20 on the first few dates. You get drinks. That's it.

I have confidence in my Convo to get a relationship. I did it with everyone no exceptions and I did wonderful.

Open myself up... Lol. You open yourself...not your wallet. If she really dig you then you don't have to break bread.

 

Dude it's not that serious
First date with my girl was the BK Museum. We both liked it and it's only suggested donations so I paid 5 bucks for both of us. We walked around and talked for two hours. We were both hungry afterwards and we had a long lunch. It was a lot of fun probably dropped 50 on lunch. I didn't even kiss her after in fact didn't kiss her until date four I think. Was totally worth it. Probably spent 200 bucks before I kissed her. Money well spent, got the girl of my dreams.