Do blks generally look more favorably upon wm/bw vs. bm/ww?

Someone made the follwong comments on another forum...

I think we'd all agree that whites generally have much more negative attitudes towards bm/ww relaitonships than towards wm/bw ones. And from an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense for a group of people to be much more concerned about the reproductive decisions of its women than of its men. However, with blacks, some suggest that the opposite is true--that we tend to have more negative attitudes towards our men marrying out than our women. I'm reminded of a post I read on another IR forum by a European WW married to a black African guy. She said that when she visited his home country (I believe it was Cameroon), she sensed some degree of resentment from his family, particularly female family members. She felt that she was looked upon as a "man stealer," particularly since her husband was a successful businessman. OTOH, she got the impression that the marriage of black women from this country to European men was looked upon very favorably. In fact, she said that such women were looked upon as if they had "won the lottery."

It's possible that her experience was unique: maybe she sensed hostility where there was none; or perhaps she earned their resentment through her own behavior. However, her observations seem to conform to observations that others, including some on this forum, have made regarding attitudes towards IR among blacks.

What do you guys think? Does this mirror your experience?

 

the answer to your thread is just black women and racist white men.

 

Re: Do blks generally look more favorably upon wm/bw vs. bm/

Her experience was not unique...if the woman got funky vibes in Africa from the sisters for being with a Brother,while her yt male counterparts are getting waited on hand and foot by those same sisters..It's not her imagination...That's how Black people really are..MATRIARCHAL

We're the ONLY race that would rather our girls date IR than our sons..

Ask the
arabs..whites..mexicans..asians..vulcans..romulans..klingons.. "Would you rather your daughter marry a BM or your son marry a BW.."?

Right down to a man(or woman)..they would rather it be their sons..

Ask a BW that same question...they would rather it be their girls..

The reason?

Non BM are used to running shit..and it pisses them off to lose control over "what's theirs"..They are PATRIARCHAL PEOPLE

BW are used to running shit..and it pisses them off for the exact same reason..We are a MATRIARCJAL PEOPLE..Sisters and WM aren't used to seeing their counterparts at the IR party..

Go to ANY Black family reunion and observe the Matriarchal nature,and IR double standards in real time..(Brothers can attest to this scenario from sea to shining sea):

A BM relative shows-up with a WW...the females get angry..talk loud..say fucked-up shit OLD & YOUNG ALIKE...rude as fuckin animals....Even if she's good looking they'll say "no dat nigga didn't brang a trashy-ass white bitch dog to OUR family reunion."...or...."Yeah Girl..He coulda' at least had the dignity to leave that whore in the dumspter he found her,long enuff to eat some potato salad...but you know how OUR BM are"..."Yeah Girl..they ain't shit.."

Not 5 minutes later:

A BF relative shows up with a WM that looks like she found him in a chicken pen...those SAME proud Black females are all....."Baby....'dey shole' go' have 'dem some purdy chillems.." :lol: :lol:

 

Went to a "black" event recently -- saw about 3 bwwm couples there and NO bmww couples. Goes to show you how society, including bw, have succeeded in "demonizing" bmww relations, though wmbw couples are generally treated exactly how they're supposed to be (as far as I can tell, as a people-watcher)...

Even lots of bm have bought into this nonsense of looking askance at bm who are w/ww...

Main thing I don't like about bwwm couples is that the "different set of assumptions" tends to be true. BW with wm tend to be bigots against bm.

Saw a rare bwwm family recently at the mall. The kid -- cute kid -- kinda smiled as the family passed like he was going to say hello. Maybe (as a boy) he identified with bm. I smiled back. The mother hustled him aside sharply as if he had done something wrong... I've personally seen lots of incidents like that, which, given the stuff I hear and read bw say, leads me to think that bw who get w/wm tend to be bigots... And the antics of the wm who get with bw? -- jeesh lol -- I won't even get into...

... So while I can't say I'm against bwwm relations (in fact I encourage it, hoping they'll also take the responsibility of nurturing the social environment so that there's more breathing room for ir couples and kids...), I don't expect much decency of them. Frankly. They're a different quantity than bmww relations.

 

As a whitey it's probably not my place to say how "blacks" judge bm/ww or bw/ww. I can only speak from my own experience of being in ww/bm relationship, and as I've already said, most of the hostility I've received has been from bw.

I have noticed how some bw are deemed to have "upgraded" by going with a wm, and that thought seems to come from black and white alike. Also the wm going with the bw is almost congratulated for being so diverse and giving the bw a chance. I don't see that AT ALL with ww/bm relationships.

 

Everyone is right so far. This just goes to show you how necessary sites like this one are for black men and white women.

 

I think BW/WM are so used to being together that they've started acting alike...wheatever pisses off the WM pisses off BW..

Both are obsessed with controlling BM sexually..

I see this with other races of men as well...Arabs and Iranians can bus' nuts in BW all day long..then get pissed when the shoe's on the other foot..

 

I've noticed the same thing as well..

I don't know what planet Lex is from..where everybody is cool with IR dating except BM..

 

Re: Do blks generally look more favorably upon wm/bw vs. bm/

Hmm...I think that many, if not most, black women would rather their daughters date IR than their sons, but I dont think that's the case with black men. To hear IR dating BW tell it, black fathers are often VERY opposed to their daughters dating white.

While I agree that blacks are relatively matriarchal compared to most non-black cultures, I dont think that women dominate black society to the degree you seem to think. Take black Africa, for example, where polygyny is commonly practiced. Would truly "matriarchal" societies practice polygyny?

Further, the vast majority of high public officials and elite business people--the blacks with the most power--in black Africa are men as well. Perhaps BW are more assertive in certain domestic spheres than nonblack women, but the powere over life and death in black societies disproportionately lies with the men.

Wow. That's crazy, man. I only recall ever seeing one white SO, a WW, at a family reunion, so I cant make comparisons.

 

I have seen this sentiment expressed by some BW on IR forums. Have you noticed this with whites as well?

 

You know what else is funny about black women?

You know what else is funny about black women? Many of them tend to feel more comfortable around non-black men than they do black men. If a non-black man says something to them, you can''t get them to shut their mouths. However, they will clam straight up if a brother so much as looks in their direction. I am not afraid to say it man, many black women are racist against black men; and they are just as racist, if not moreso, than white men,and non-black people are. Many of them simply don't see anything good about us. And they get shocked when someone else does.

What else is funny is you have all of these black women--ONLINE--who swear up and down that nothing less than a brother will do. I go from site to site, hearing many black women proclaim how much they love a black man. They make it seem as if niggas are disowning them, when it is really the other way around. Many black women are stuck in victim mode. Far too many of them are obsessed with white women too.

However, when you go outside, you sure don't see the love coming from black women. Sometimes I wonder where are all these black women who CLAIM to love black men at out here. Honestly, it can make you a little angry to see women in YOUR race open up faster to men outside of their race to the ones INSIDE of their race. Every other group is the EXACT opposite of us. EVERY OTHER GROUP IS.

It makes black men look like fools to everyone else. Everybody and their momma knows that the women in our race hate and look down on us. Because, in every other culture, the women give the men in their race FIRST preference. Only in ours do the women give everybody else BUT us first preference. I am talking in terms of speaking, and everything else, as well as other kinds of social behavior. Black women will speak to everyone else but a black man. Or am I the only one who noticed this?

Just tonight after I helped my mother with some drycleaning, I was going back into my apartment, and when I was going up the steps, I saw some Philipino dude with some sister trailing behind him. I guess she was catching a cab. When he saw me, he got a little nervous, and he looked back at the sister whose head was tucked so low into her chin that you couldn't even see her face. I spoke to the guy, but honestly, I was angry. Not angry because he MAY have been with her. Angry because black women will treat men outside of her race with more respect than they do black men. That is what I was angry about.

Many of them go out of their way to treat black men with attitudes, and many of them make me sick. I really wish that I didn't thave to encounter many black women at all. I can't stand the attitudes of many of them; to tell you the truth. Their hypocrisy is nauseating, because they go on and on about not being the standard of beauty, and crying and whining about who black men date. Every site you go to, you hear black women crying about this mess. They are utterly obsessed with it. However, nothing ever gets said about the black women who date non-black men. You never hear about it, and it is a frequent occurrance too man; especially out in the Bay Area. If you are outside long enough, you will see several of these couples. I don't like black woman's attitudes, and I will tell you that point blank.

When I saw that Philipino dude with the sister traling behind him, I felt disrespected. Inside, I was angry. Because, apparently, the braindead sister was his booty call. I don't like the way non-black men parade around with their negresses in front of black men without shame. They have no respect for us. They get mad as hell if their women do that to us, and theirs don't do that, because their women respect them. Most don't, anyway. Ours will do it, and try to hurt us with it. They don't think anything of black men. It seems like black women do everything in their power to help break us down.

That is why she was catching a cab. I have seen various women come out of that Asian dude's apartment. Many sisters surely ain't saints, they are freaking non-black men big time behind closed doors. However, they have the nerve to worry about who black men are dating. I don't like the way they act like they can do whatever they want and still be able to treat black men badly. They can be slutted out by non-black guys, and still think that they have the right to a creme' de' la' cremme brother. However, that same black chick is perfectly okay with being some average non-black man's sex toy.

They have absolutely NO respect for us; and it shows. When I say that many black women are as racist as white women, I am not kidding. I have seen black women, when they saw me coming, if they are out with their kids, they will try to tuck their kids close and pull them away from me. The irony is, their kids that they are doing that to are full-blooded little black males just like I am. So what are these sisters going to do when other people do that to THEIR SONS? I have seen black women cross the street when they saw me coming, hiding in mailbox etc., to avoid walking past me, frowning when they had to help me in a grocery line, and all types of stuff. However, these same women swear up and down that they love us. I don't know who they are fooling but it sure as hell ain't Jaydun.

It almost makes me sick to read their stupid odes about how they nothing but a black man will do. I bet you half of the black women saying that can't even pull a white man. Because the ones that can, DO. And if they do, they won't ever look in a nigga's direction again. Look at Coral off of the Real World? She dated Abe for goodness sake. Have you ever seen Abe? If you did, you would see what I mean. He is as average as they come. She won't touch a black dude, not even Durell; and he is a handsome guy. This is the only society exist where a handsome man is seen as undesirable solely because the color of skin he is in. Many black will never get a chance to see how they would do in a sysem with equal footing.

The bottom line: they ain't turning down offers from white men, or any other men from that matter. It simply AIN'T happening. That much I DO know. As much as black women HATE the men in their race, I don't think that they are rejecting white men like they claim. And even if they do CLAIM to love black men, it is always niggas who are off of some soap opera or something. It is never the regular 9-to-5 working black man. The regular nice black men get the shaft on the regular. We are getting the shaft from women, many of whom aren't even that hot, to tell you the truth.

You are angry because half of these below par women, have the nerve to have an attitude. And if they are nice-looking, they are just total snobs. It almost makes you sick to be around them, or have to deal with them on any level.

Anyway good post man.

 

Yes I have noticed this from whites, hence me saying that the thought seems to come from black and white alike!

 

Re: Do blks generally look more favorably upon wm/bw vs. bm/

Polygamy IS practiced in matriarchal..matri-lineal societies..it sure is..

The females get to chose who they bring in..not the man..as in Mormon or other male-domintate cultures..

 

Re: You know what else is funny about black women?

Excellent post..

Stop getting mad and do what I did..

I TRADED my anger and PURCHASED a whole lot of I DON'T GIVE A SHIT.. :lol:

 

Re: You know what else is funny about black women?

:lol: I concur!

 

Re: You know what else is funny about black women?

Walk in the path of temperance and acceptance. The only thing YOU need to defend is your character and own self-worth. Feed on their hate, and work on your finances and self-worth. Everything else will fall into place.

 

Re: You know what else is funny about black women?

Nice response 7. Sometimes you surprise me. As for the two threads that have been locked, no surprise (laugh w/ me 7, I appreciate both yours and Sardonic's posts).

I would respond the same to those who are concerned with me dating outside of my race. I'm sure they would wish me to respond more angrily to their stares, whispers, and nasty comments but I don't. But honestly, their hate does "feed me" - if me openly dating a non-white man disrupts their equilibrium, then good! How else are they to begin to open their eyes?!? It also makes me question if my affections are pure, and not simply convenient. If all "is well in my soul" that is all I can be concerned with.

 

Re: You know what else is funny about black women?

I try to live by The Buddha Seven Factors of Enlightenment nowadays, forget virtue
1. Mindfulness, 2. Investigation and research(- all religious, ethical, philosophical studies, reading, conversation.), 3. Energy(- to work with determination to the end), 4. Joy(- the quality quite contrary to the pessimistic, gloomy or melancholic attitude of mind), 5. Relaxation (-of both body and mind. One should not be stiff mentally, physically), 6. Concentration, 7. Equanimity(- able to face life in all its vicissitudes with calm of mind, tranquility).

Mental Discipline, Right Effort, Right Action, Right Mindfulness, Right Concentration, Wisdom, Right Understanding

To cultivate these qualities the most essential thing is a will, or inclination, meditation and focus on key goals. Being 'black' you cannot escape life however you may try. Real life is in the present moment- not in the memories of the past histories which are dead and gone. i.g BW's disdain for BM, or the hostility of non-black women, racism, and slavery. I do not let the idiosyncrasies of human nature "get to me." I educate myself, and put things into logically perspective. It is wrong to be impatient at suffering. Being impatient or angry at suffering does not remove it. On the contrary, it adds a little more to one’s trouble, and aggravates and exacerbates a situation already disagreeable. A man who is in anger is not really aware, not really mindful that he is angry. The moment he becomes aware of that state of his mind, the moment he sees his anger, it becomes, as it were, shy and ashamed, and begins to subside. You should examine its nature, how it arises, how it disappears. You should not think ‘I am angry’, or of ‘my anger’. You should only be aware and mindful of the state of an angry mind. What is necessary is not anger or impatience, but the understanding of the question of suffering, how it comes about, and how to get rid of it, and then to work accordingly with patience, intelligence, determination and energy.

Just bit of my own wisdom................

 

Well, I'll be damn...

I haven't been able to find ONE single SENTENCE in this thread that I even disagree with! rayer:

Jaydun, you should take flaminghetero and Seven's advice.

And, I am going on my 2nd year as a practicing daoist.

 

maybe my man's family is the exception to the rule, but his family has been nothing but sweet as sugar to me (and they are almost all female) since his dad walked out and his mother's siblings are all women (except for 1)... it was that setting almost exactly. summer picnic (which we all know any event calling for food and family means the whole family. LOL) anyway it was my first time meeting any of his family (including his mother) so i was *really nervous* they made me feel so at home. and even mock yelled at me that "next time you come around i don't want to see you sitting there all shy and quiet. you better just jump right up and help yourself. we'll let it go this time because you're new" so the next family event i'm at (it was my 2nd) i still kinda wait my turn in the background and his one aunt comes over to me and says "baby, i told you last time, there will be none of this waiting, help yourself!"

i do love his family.