Divorce and Custody...

No divorce but CHILD SUPPORT!! I didn't have a snowballs chance in hell to get custody because we were both fit parents Fortunately she had sense and that made it easier on the both.

 

No divorce but CHILD SUPPORT!! I didn't have a snowballs chance in hell to get custody because we were both fit parents Fortunately she had sense and that made it easier on the both.

 

Its a no win situation for the man in most cases. What i sometimes dont understand is when some women fight tooth and nail for their children especially the boys yet go about harping on the importance of the father in the lives of their sons.

 

I'm puzzled about that myself.

 

Are you saying that mothers fight harder to keep their sons than their daughters

 

I took it as women fight hard for both. But complain about the men not being in the boys life when they're responsible for taking the out

 

Or the importance of the father's money. But of course, that just speaking on the shady bunch. But that shit do be wrong as fuck, especially when the money don't even be going towards the kid, but towards shopping n' shit.

 

exactly. you have to understand (especially for bw) women love screaming Im a single mother doing it myself. Im strong and independent. then fite the dude too and nail about seeing the kid. they do this so they can be apart of the club so they can scream "the daddy aint no good. he dont care about the kids. Im doing it all myself" mantra.

yeah, thats for sure. the only people the mothers are hurting are the kids. you never heard a kid say " I smoked drugs or gotten preggie in my teen years or suffered depression or whatever because I didnt get child support or the new BMW for my 16th bday or the new Wii."

they scream "my daddy wasnt there for me."

Im not saying child support isnt important but damn. you cant have it both ways.

also, you give the child support...you cant worry what they do with it. let them fall on their face.

by the book....you dont have to buy school clothes and the extra stuff. that is what child sipport is for. so remember that. It would be good that you do but you dont have to ...so dont let a woman guilt trip you into that.

 

One of my bestfriends (ww) dating a (bm) who has 4 children. Eldest is not has bio child nor does he have any bio children with her. They got together when she (bw) was pregnant and he has been a father to her child every since now a teenager. He had 2 children with another woman (bw) and they have joint custody. He has girls one week she has them the next. No child support paid and he was actually married to her. Then had another baby with another girl and when that baby was only a few months mom (bw) left her with him and didn't come back till baby was almost a year. For the last year she get little girl every other weekend and when she has her calls daddy to bring her money for diapers all while collecting Foodstamps on baby she is not raising or providing for and threatens dad with child support. Hell Naw. I'd go behind that trashs back and see lawyer and get legal custody.

 

damn, I will have to reread that mofo...to figure who is with who and what person has the child with who. LOL

too much drama

yeah, he should be paying child support period. no discussions. the issue is the unfairness of men get custody and no punishment on women when they try to alienate men from their kids

 

Men have more power than they think they do though. Sure it's hard for a man to get custody of his child if he can not prove mother unfit but I see so many men ALLOW women to keep their children from them. Honestly after awhile of doing nothing about it I start to think just as bad as them as the mother herself. Some men are just using the mother as an excuse. If you are married to the woman a woman has NO MORE legal right to the children. Ex. Man and wife split woman takes her kids and refuses to let him see them. Guess what a man can do the EXACT same thing. He can by law legally kidnap his own children too. Woman and man are not married it makes the situation harder b/c that would mean father has no legal rights and paying child support doesn't give that legal right to you. HOWEVER a man can certainly get a lawyer and file for visitation rights to his child giving him a legal right to his children and the mother can't do crap about it. So honestly men who haven't seen their kids in 3 years talking about their mom won't let them ain't no better than she is cause he COULD see them if he wanted to.

I have meet quite a few dads that are raising their children. Honestly I have to watch myself form thing it's admiral. It's not admiral with the mother does it so it shouldn't be with the dad does either. But I also know men who have allowed grandparents and the state to take their children from unfit mothers while they did nothing to try and take them in themselves. That just angers me and I have a cuz that is one of these types of men. Fussed about child support he was going to have to pay but refuses to be the custodial parent leaving the child with a grandparent. And to be honest it kinda irks me when a see a man who does have his children run out and find a woman to cook, clean, bathe, do their hair, and take care of his children's emotional needs. While all men are not like that it does reassure me that the courts looking at two fit homes choosing the mother is probably the best b/c statistically women are more willing to cook, clean, bathe, do hair, take care of emotional needs, and financially support their children. So while it may be offensive to some it makes since to me.

 

true men can do something but lets put it in perspective.

1) why should a man fight for visitation ? he should have to fight for that.

2) the economics of it all. most men who are called "he aint around for this and that" well, here is the deal. men who are low income or even make lets say......90,000 and below will have to hire an atty. retainer in alabama is about 3000. then he will charge you 180 per hour. this is how it works. you send him an email and he reads it. it takes him 20 minutes he will round it up and charge you 90 bucks. thus you reduce the 3000 by $90. most cases will run about 6 months to 9 months for a visitation case. if you are frugal in your dealings with him.....you can spend about 15,000 .

now tell me will pookie be able to afford that and then pay child support.

you can cut costs by doing some stuff yourself. I did all my discoveries, nterrogatories and motions myself . Then I got an atty and I went over on the retainer which was 2500. he charged 225 an hour. then on top of that I pay child support. most dudes will say fuck that shit simply because dealing with the court is intimidating. just filing a motion to force to get visitation is $300. not to mention the time and the postage (registered mail). always send your mail where they have to sign for it and save all documentation. also your cell phone record is your best friend. print it off and show it to the court and scream " i want to see my babies. she is in contempt of court" and her ass is in trouble (maybe).

 

A woman has to fight for visitation/custody just as a man does when they are married. It's just more likely she is the one is awarded as custodial parent.

If they are not married it is b/c he has no legal rights. Lets be honest when a woman has child we KNOW who the mother is but who the father is questionable. It needs to be legalized.

Simple cases of visitation without a divorce do not normally cost that kid of money. It cost my husband $700 to legalize his child. If we would have not been together they would have awarded him visitation as part of that 700 bucks. It's trying to obtain custody of a child that is costly and it will be costly to both parents.

 

no doubt. we are talking about to different things in reference to divorce and custody but what it boils down to that is similar to you and I and what your husband went thru/going thru....is it is costly and its a fight that is soul draining

 

The reason my husband had to legalize or son is b/c he filed him on his taxes and he was audited. I live in GA and when your married by law your husband is the legal father to the child. I didn't divorce my x till after 8 years of separation so legally he was my kids dad. So my now husband had to legalize him so he wouldn't get in trouble with his taxes.

The reason I know that married men have just as much legal right as mothers is b/c I went through that. After my x and I split and I raised our kids for like 4 years by myself with him only seeing them sometimes in which I took them to see him an hr. away and very little financial help. It took over a year to get child support awarded and another one for him to start paying it and it was only $64 a week for both kids (much less than what I was paying for daycare alone). After all these years I took the kids to his house one year for them to spend the summer (first time) and he refused to let me talk to my kids, them come home, nothing. He also immediately called Child support to tell them he had the kids so they could cancel that. Although he had to pay another year b/c of all the time he didn't pay. I was a single pregnant mom with no money another a kid at home (so I feel ya on the money thing) and cops told me there was nothing they could do without either of us having custody. Our kids were in the custody of which ever one of us possed them. Only thing I could do was kidnap my children from him. Attorneys told me I'd have to pay 1000 just to file for temporary custody. So my point is the law isn't for mothers as so many believes. The only real difference is mothers do tend to get custodial custody when they do go to court. In the end I agreed to allow my son to stay with him and I got my daughter back. Of Course we are both entitled to every other weekend visitation with our children aswell as month for summers, a week for Christmas. Men have powers too they just don't ten to use them or even know they can do anything. My aunt told me she doesn't divorce her kids dad b/c he doesn't know any better and she can tell him when he can and can't see his kid. If he only knew legally he keep his kid and tell her no as she does him.

 

knowledge is the key to it all. I found the atty's will do minimum work.

people ( I did it but for a different situation) looked up the laws at the law library and saw shit I was suppose to get from the D.A. Im gonna go to that area and let them know they fucked me but Im gonna fuck them and go to the bar association. I pointed out the victims rite act out to them and they got real defensive and I knew i was on to something.

I pointed out other laws and I got what I wanted. regular attys didnt know it was available until I showed it to them.

so you have to educate yourself. one thing to rremember in which I failed to do is......you are the customer and they are not doing you a favor. watch them closely because they will fuck you.

you dont have to be an expert...just read and you will be enuff to be dangerous

 

I'll take option 1. for 100 Alex.

 

I think you will find the number is lower than you think.

 

Which is why custody is most often given to the mother.

 

bullshit...straight...bullshit.

...and please don't me you don't believe this. That in the court of law a woman and a man is on the same footing with regards to visitation. A woman must be prove unfit..but worse...the father has to prove that he is fit.