Dealing with children from a previous marriage...

past gf had two blonde norwegian kids, they were great and we got along splendidly. no problems with them or their grandparents, uncles and aunts or father

 

I have no experience of this at all, but I have a feeling that if Iffy and I were to split up, very few white men would be happy of "taking on" me and my mixed race daughter.

I know quite a few white men who don't want anything to do with women once they've "gone black", let alone make a family with her and any children. In fact, one man I know used the chat up line "Do you fuck niggers?" - only the women who said no were "lucky" enough to have the pleasure of his company.

 

it is funny how the WW who dated black men and then had children, would even want the attention of WM, that is what I am baffled by.

 

I don't think it's a case of "Once you go black you don't go back" etc. For a lot of us it's not a conscious choice to cherry pick a black man but rather a good man - whatever shade he comes in. And I know you'll probably say "Then why are you here" - but to that I say that I enjoy IR, but not as a novelty or a religion, but as an experience and now a way of life - not a law.

But this is detracting from the original topic.

 

not a way of life? hmm, so black men are not the most attractive to you, the most exciting for you?

some men and women will say, I will not settle for a man who uses hard drugs, violence, sexist--are they being prejudice to those people?

you can exclusively love black men, just as other exclusively pick characteristics.

 

But I don't exclusively love black men, I exclusively love my man who is black. Black men don't all share the same qualities other than skin tone ranging from light toffee to dark chocolate!

I love his skin, I love his culture but above all i love HIM.

I've seen you going on about latin, white and mixed race women, so can't expect ww to be "black only". It's not a religion.

 

nope its not, thanks for setting me straight

 

I dated a WW once who had three young kids at home. Her EX was one of those loud Harley riding, racist, biker types... but he was mostly all bluster. He remained in the picture because of the kids.

I was surprised that neither the kids (or their friends) had an issue with race whatsoever -- though a few of their friend's parents did.

The issues I had at first, were mostly competing for time with their mom. The little pests would find every excuse in the book to direct her attention away from me. But once they got used to the idea of me being around, things settled down into a typical family type unit.

Surprisingly, right after the relationship ended, I maintained more contact with the EX husband than either her or the kids. Go figure. I guess misery loves company.

 

that is similar to my story bro, but the EX wasnt a racist biker, just a working class contractor.

the kids saw me as a big brother and then a psuedo parent, since the father ran off with the company secretary

 

Pardon if I'm quoting you out of context, but I wonder if this is what the white community would say to a WW who's "gone black" ... :?

 

I don't know what you mean?

 

I mean, some white folk may not be willing to accept a WW thats gone black -which makes the saying truer.

 

Oh right. Well that's not something I can accurately answer as I'm not the voice for all white people! But that certainly is the case for some people, mostly wm.

 

That's interesting because it seems most WM who have that mindset don't care if their WW has been with an Asian or Latino or any other race/ethnicity. But for some reason...being w/a BM is like a death knell for many WM. It ruins their fantasy of the "perfect" woman. I think most WM would have sex with a WW if she's been with a BM but not as many would marry her.......

My guess is that WM feel that BM are the only men that can satisfy their women more than they....in every conceivable way. WM created this "big dick theory" and now they are victims of it. Latino guys are stereotyped as very passionate but BM are supposed to be the gods of sex and some WM can't stand the fact that in the back of their woman's mind..she'll know that she has had better and he'll feel it......Also some WM are just racist and feel that their penises are too pure to go where a BM's wang has been.

 

I totally agree with that. Those type of wm see things literally in black and white...every race in between are shades of grey. They may not like other races of men, but they won't feel threatened by them.

There is so much mystique surrounding the bm's sexual prowess that it is now feared by the very people who fanned the flames. The men that I mentioned couldn't care less about one of my ex's being half French and half Moroccan, but if they knew my man is black...well, I can just imagine what they'd have to say!

 

I absolutely have no right to disagree with your points made, Tash. I dont even expect you to love black men exclusively, rather exclusively love a good man. And as you rightly pointed out, not all black men share the same qualities and there are bad black males just as there are bad white, Asian, hispanic males. As a matter of fact, i never take seriously white women who say they exclusively date white women for some reason because i dont believe that can happen. Well at least i've never come across any. I've been with a few who've said the same thing and still went back to WM. Not that it bothered me but i just believe its just flattering sweettalk.

I similarly like white women but i never have and never will exclusively date them as that is kinda absurd to me. I love to keep my options open and as im engaged to a latin woman doesnt mean i love ALL latin women.I just love the one im with even though they're great women in general.

About WW going back to WM, its not a problem of mine. It never has been and it never will be. But i know for damn certain that a lot of WM have so many issues with WW who have been with BM. About three years ago, i dated Sandy, a woman of 32 with two kids; boy and girl. The real father hated me so much for a reason i dont know and instilled that hatred in his son too. The boy, Sam, was very rude and hostile to me, much to the dismay of Sandy, and always was very inquisitive. He never was in a good mood whenever i was around. The girl, Meagan, liked me at first but was talked to by her father and so started blowing hot and cold. Whenever her dad was around, she'd act all weird but the minute he was gone, she'd be all loving again. Once Sam told his dad that when he saw me kiss his mom and the dad flipped. He even said to Sandy i know yo're fucking that Negro and she said , for damn sure and im loving it. He slapped her for saying that. And you know what i did? I beat the fucking crap outta the pot-bellied creep. For two reasons, calling me a Negro and for hitting a lady. I couldnt deal with the whole pressure of all that so we had to break up.

So deny it all you want, but relationships with IR step-children are very hard to be worked out, especially if the biological father is involved.

 

My ignorance or theirs?

 

I don't necessarily believe this but many WM have that mindset......

 

Oh i cant disagree with you.