Dating question for the gentlemen

Nice, Petty, real nice. You are the typical male. :wink:

 

Yes, if I put on something sexy, go to a bar and sit there sipping on my drink, I'll get chatted up. No doubt. But for some reason I don't crave that type of attention and I don't go to bars.

From my experience it takes a hell of a lot of work to get a quality man interested. Have you noticed how forward women have become? They like a man - they go for it. A "real catch" - an attractive intelligent man whose life is together - gets attention from women all the time. It takes a quality woman to actually impress him - one who is also attractive, intelligent and is doing something with her life. One who has a job or goes to school, reads books and cooks dinner, works out and is nice to people. One who doesn't abuse alcohol and uses refined language. She will hold his interest. Such a woman is not dreaming of Mr Right - she hopes to meet Mr Equal, someone on her level.

Speaking strictly from experience - it takes more than a pretty face to get a quality man, a real catch. He can get laid anytime - but he wants someone he can actually trust with his heart. Someone who will accept him for the imperfect man that he is, and still love him.

 

Agreed. You expressed it perfectly. That's exactly how it is! THat's what I've been trying to get across, and apparently, it's not doing the job. LOL! Excellent post. I fully agree 1000%.

 

I'll give you credit. You summed up a situation where if that were the ideal to obtain yeah I'd be happy. Meaning the very description you stated were presented. A well put together woman who is going places and has her act together is intelligent and honest and all were before me yes I'd be interested.

The thing is though for some reason after we're together things sometimes change. And that ritualistic ceremony where little by little a man's manhood is taken away bit by bit.

So you have to understand that my conclusion is simply this. I'm not willing to sacrifice my happiness to obtain a relationship, or maintain one. And that's what so many men do these days. It's a constant cycle of giving in, and compromising, and apologizing for nothing.

And that goes to even before we have a relationship. I meet you and instantly I have to bear the burden of your previous man. I have to now measure up because the loser you dated before was a dud.

And sorry. I can't subscribe to the Mr Equal theory. Men and women are different. And differents cannot be equal. There may be things you do well and I'm horrible at, or vice versa. And together we compliment each other, that's fine. But we each have a role to play and our differences are what keeps the thing going.

 

Of course by equal I don't mean same, and I'm not talking about roles. I mean a peer on a mental and spiritual level. A union is more likely to last if the partners connect on as many levels as possible.

 

Are you saying that the girls you've been with constantly nagged and taunted you, and that you felt this was eating away your self-respect as a man? I have to agree with what Bookworm wrote before, that maybe you've been with the wrong women - and now in a similar way you may be carrying the weight of your previous relationships.

I can see what you mean, I've seen couples where the man seemed totally emasculated - not a pleasant sight. I've also seen more than enough couples where women grin and bear a lot of crap such as cheating, addictions and abuse. What creates the balance in a relationship is the personalities involved. There is no natural or social law that says all women will eventually try to put you down. If this has been the case for you so far, you should ask yourself why you chose these particular women and why you let them treat you that way.