Dating outside your religion

Could you consider a relationship with a woman who would not attend church?

 

Date yes. Marry? Only if she were unable to have children.

 

It would be a huge blessing to find a decent Christian woman to marry and procreate, but that does not mean I am only going to marry a Christian lady. Sorry, I am not going to close the door on others. If the woman is decent, got some form of belief system, and always got my back, then she is welcome to cruise with me thru Drive through wedding chapel.

 

Is the no children aspect due to possible christening issues and raising of munchkins within the church?

 

The raising of them as Christians, indeed. I'm not much for church activities, which is one thing that makes me atypical amongst observant Christians. One of the the others is that I do NOT believe that all non-Christians are automatically damned, but see it from my point of view...

It would be pretty hard ON me to fall in love with an atheist, knowing that there was a significant chance the woman I loved, more than life itself, would end in a cold, grey, awful place (although an atheist would assert that that applies to us all, only literally).

But adding children to the mix would put an unmanageable strain on the marriage, especially if she did not yield in her views, and I find atheism illogical at best, and at worst downright intentionally self-destructive. Even within the same faith, it is tough when you have a one partner who is strict, the other looser, and neither partner wants to budge.

One of my friends is a deeply committed Christian, his marriage and all his girlfriend-relationships have failed because of they could not reconcile with his faith. He is now engaged to a trainee youth Pastor - and after meeting her a few times, I've NEVER seen so few red flags. My Dad broke up with his girlfriend - who he STILL loves - because she was pushing him to be more religious than he was. I'm watching a marriage between my Orthodox Jewish mate, and his Liberal wife, disintegrate right now, and it's falling apart primarily because they cannot agree on how religiously their 4 daughters should be raised.

The scenes of them arguing, the girls coming downstairs in tears listening to their parents shouting, the times I've thought "Shit, he's one of my best friends and now I'm about to have to jump in to pull him off her... ". Whole thing looks like a slow, drawn-out horror film.

I would rather avoid exposing myself to all that pain. Sorry, that's probably a much longer answer than you'd wanted, but I'm nothing if not detailed. Personal principle.

By way of background, I say all this AS an ex-atheist.

 

JB, your post makes a lot of sense. I can understand your position. I am a deeply spiritual woman but would not attend church. I am not sure if a relationship would work between myself and a deeply religious man as those are such different concepts.

 

I always date outside my religion. Around 11y im living in DK I have dated only one...ONE cattolic girl. All other girls have another religion (protestant, muslim, wiccan ect ect)...

 

Nope i wouldnt, in my religion christianity we are not to be unequally yoked, believers with unbelievers.

 

i have dated outside and it didnt work in the end because we couldnt get pass that issue and couldnt move on to get married, so no, not a good thing in my religion

 

I prefer to date someone who isn't religious like I am. I prefer someone who's spiritual (this word is debatable to some). I've dated some "religious" ones (these dudes found religion recently or they're Born Agains) and it was hard for me. They got on my nerves when it came to this topic. I respect people for their beliefs, but don't knock me for mine. I would get into debates with them. They surely weren't the ones to talk...:roll:

 

I've just recently encountered this situation myself. It didn't become a huge matter but she made it clear she wanted to get married. She's fairly Christian and I am very much not. It doesn't bother me however. I wouldn't mind going to a nice church but when it comes to raising kids. That's what crossed my mind. I wouldn't be able to convincingly tell my child they should believe in christ and fear going to hell. I'm really not supportive of putting the fear of hell in little kids. So it came to end... but mostly 'cause I'm too young to get married.

 

I respect people for who they are and their belief systems, and I would expect the same in return. I was brought up with no religion as my parents believed that I should have the right to decide if there is a god or not on my own, and choose my own religion. I do not follow an organised religion...I am spiritual though. Because of this, I would date and marry someone who had different beliefs to my own and respect them for it (i.e. religion, non-vegetarian, political).

 

Me too. I guess you can say I'm Athiest. I don't believe in religion (any religion), or the existance of a deity at all. However, I respect that others feel differently and to each their own.
But, I couldn't be with someone who was religious. It would drive me insane. :smt119

 

I have a strong faith in God, however I don't think that means everyone else has to believe as I do. My father was agnostic and though we discussed religion on many occasions, his beliefs didn't change mine, nor mine his. As long as the other person is equally able to respect your beliefs without feeling the need to try to convert you to their way of thinking, I see no reason why dating would be a problem. However in my experience, few people are capable of that level of objectivity on issues that they feel strongly about, and religion tends to be something that people are either strongly in favor of, or opposed to.

 

why ?

 

I dont like people who are religious I like people who have a relationship with G-d. There is a major difference.

 

I would marry one but I have to know if she is not a liar and a cheater. By the way just because you guy to church does not mean you have morals. it just means you guy to church to show people you go.

Im jewish by the way. I do go to church also because I like to socialize and everyone has some wisdom to give.

 

we need to define spiritual versus religous.

 

unequally yoked is a term i believe is taken out of context a lot

 

Good point Goodlove. I define religious as subscribing to set parameters on what to believe & how to behave as dictated by a recognized church, e.g. Catholic, Anglican, Scientology, Islam.....

On the other hand, spiritual is defined (by me) as a belief in more than what meets the eye, beyond science and into the realm of faith. But importantly, not tied to a church or set of guidelines followed by a recognized group. For example, when I go climbing or even snowboarding in the mountains, my experience has a depth to it that I label spiritual because I feel much more than my muscles working or my heart beating but as well I feel a connection with the land, with the energy of it all.

Very difficult for me to explain what I simply feel. :smt050