Dating Older Women

I'm starting to realize that older women, and by older i mean late twenties to early to mid 30's, is much more appealing to me than girls my age and younger. I think it has a lot to do with maturity, and the fact that older women know what they want. I'm only 22, but i also know what i want, and i've always known that a woman, and not necessarily a girl, would be a better fit for me personally. So i was wondering, for a guy my age, what would be the best way to attract an older woman? I have absolutely no idea, as i'm used to dealing with girls and not necessarily women. Do i have to be already established in my career, with a nice car and house to attract older women?? For younger girls, all a guy usually needs to be able to do is talk a good game, but for women, is there any difference you think? And thanx for all the advice in advance. :wink:

 

I once read a forum post by a man, who said:

A little girl wants various gifts, attention, care...
A young lady likes someone with experience, masculine traits, a good head on the shoulders, money in the pocket or prospects of making it...
A woman - ah! - a woman needs a man...

I think this sums it up well... Being an "older" woman (twenty eight), if I were looking for a man now, I would want someone sophisticated, who is interested in understanding me and who is ready for a real relationship and all that comes with it... I would have no interest in games anymore...

I would probably be very cautiuos if a younger man expressed interest... I think I'd have more in common with somebody in their mid-thirties. Then again you can fall in love with anybody, and then the next thing you know if you're singing a brand new song. It's been said that a woman falls in love with the man who exemplifies her dream (if only her current dream)... so if one can understand the nuances of the particular woman's dream, one can attain the desired image so that she would end up falling in love... but, once again, done on purpose, it's a game. I believe in real feelings.

 

hmm...so do you think that a woman in her late twenties to early thirties would even show a guy my age any interest whatsoever?? I could have all that she wants (everything that exemplifies her current dream) but because she might already have her mind made up that no guy that young could possibly have what she wants, i would lose out. i really do feel as though the way that my character and personality is setup, that i would actually be better suited for an older woman moreso than a younger one.

 

thanx Cos! :mrgreen:

 

Well no, I'm not saying that an older woman would not give you a chance by definition, just because you're younger. But she may have understandable doubts, because people evolve a lot throughout their twenties and "stabilize" towards their late twenties... am I wrong? An older woman can't afford to waste time, she thinks about starting a family already. As Cosmetic said, if the younger man in question is already tired of the "young" scene, he may be a good match for an older woman.

I have a co-worker who married a man several years younger than herself. They're both African American. She met him at a supermarket and liked him instantly, in fact she made the first move, not knowing his age. When she found it he was in his early twenties, she was shocked. He did look a lot more mature. He asked for a chance and they started dating, nevertheless. Later, he was the one who told her that he thought he should be with someone closer to his age. My coworker said "fine" and shortly after he saw her out in town with another man. He started calling her non-stop. :lol: They've been together for many years now, but as you see the age factor was an issue for both of them at first, they just worked through it.

 

That would be me. :mrgreen: I'm "definitely" tired of the young scene. There are just too many games, and the search to find somebody of real quality whose my age is extremely exhausting. I can also do without all of the artificiality. If the older woman has doubts, i can definitely understand that, because an awful lot of guys my age aren't even close to being done with all the games and things. I've never been interested in going out and sowing my royal oats like a lot of the other guys my age you know..lol

 

I used to think like this. I bought into the older women = more mature thing until recently. I got played and dissed by a woman in her mid thirties. Now I'm a bitter (yeah I'm admitting it!). I've come to the conclusion that women are women much like people are people. Idiots, immaturity, and plain inconsideration comes in all shapes, sizes, skin colors, and ages for that matter.

 

My fiancee (she's 8 years older) has explicitly told me in similar terms that this is the very reason she fell in love with me and wants to give her life to me. I'm so very very honored to the point where I CAN see straight.

 

yeah, i've thought about that. i remember Pinnacle asking for advice about being with his woman who has children. he's near my age, so i guess it's kinda similar. well, i would love to have a family. the only thing that i ever worry about as far as that's concerned is financial, because i haven't even graduated college yet. i'll be graduating soon, but it might take a little while before i start making any real money. but after thinking about it, if the woman has a child, i don't think that it would deterr me all that much if i know that she's the perfect woman for me. Also, the dynamic between the child and the childs father would probably come into play a little bit i think.

 

Love it!!!

 

wow, if older women aren't much better than the younger ones, i'm pretty much screwed then..lol

 

Now i'm curious. what makes a man a man?? if it's not age, then what is it? :smt017

 

To me, a real man has a good heart, a deep mind, and honor - a bit of an outdated concept in today's world, but important in my book... It shows in every aspect of his life, including his treatment of women - from opening doors to not taking advantage, even if he could... being merciful with women, in many ways...

 

well that is why you have to get to know someone to find out of they are not right for you.

If you are interested in someone older, go for it. The older you get less it really matters. I don't know if you will find a lot of takes 10 yrs older.. but late 20s? You always seem pretty mature. I can't see too many turning you away

 

Bryant, it's funny how similar in philosophy we are. Maybe you're the incarnation of my deceased-at-birth twin brother.

Ignore the little family secret....

Whilst i believe that older women can be just as scheming, pretentious and problematic as other women, on the whole, older women appeal more to me (At 18, i dated a 32 year old). Maybe because of my mentality and rather relaxed, conservative and ahead-of-myself approach to life but it has happened that most of the women i've dated were older than myself. This has no bearing on my previous dates but i've found that the best relationships i've had were with women who were older than myself. I am only 23 years old (i'ma be 24 in May) and my fiancee is 25 (going on 26 in Nov). Whilst she isn't significantly older than myself, i seem to be more compatible with her ethic and view on life. I like a woman who's completely independent, generally grounded and has a conscious outlook on life and so far, the older women (at least that i have met) had it. Not to harp much on the sexual aspect, but you cannot avoid it in most relationships; in my experiences, older women are much better in bed. Why? Please do not ask as i cannot point to a reason why.

My fiancee's age (amongst other things) was a negative factor my father picked up as he does not believe a man should date a woman older than him. As you might guess, many of our older folks are very patriarchal but i think with this new age and modernalization, age isn't becoming much of a factor in relationships. My mother was initially opposed to it but she came to a consensus, under 3 conditions; she must have a job, must come from a two-parent family and must not be a divorcee... all of which my fiancee met so it was all good.

Generally, people form opinions by their experiences and for that reason, there is not one ounce of objectivism in what i have said. My views might differ to others but i really have no objection to dating older (or younger) women as long as there is one thing; compatibility. People always place other things before compatibility and that is the first step towards failure.

 

While I understand the logic behind this requirement, I think it's unfair. My father left us when I was four... should I be penalized for it in my adulthood?

My husband once told me (that one time when I uttered the word divorce) that there is one reason he does not look to meet my father, even though he is very cordial with my mom. I said, duh because he's in California and we're in NY. My husband said, no. It is because he left your mom. He told me he knows what it's like to grow up without a father, because his own father passed away when he was still a child, and my mother-in-law never remarried. I guess now, after reading this post, I appreciate that compassion... turns out it's not everywhere that you get it... although, I repeat, I do see where Cris's mother is coming from, wanting the best woman for her son...

 

Well my advice is simply this. Live your life to the fullest and try the be the best person that you can be. Do your best and treat others the way that you would want to be treated. In the process, if you notice that you're attracted to someone, go for it! Don't be fazed or limited by what "category" of woman she falls in. Hope that helps.

 

Bryant, whoever you end up dating, whether she is old or young, she will be a lucky woman. I'm 25, and some guys my age and even older are not ready for any kind of commitment. I tend to go for men a little older than me, but if a younger man showed interest in me, I'd give him a chance if I thought he had a good head on his shoulders. From reading all your posts on this forum, your mature attitude shines through--I wouldn't say you're 22 if I had to guess. Any woman who gives you half a chance will see that, even if she is cautious about dating a younger man. Be careful, though, some older women just want younger men because they think they are trainable. :lol:

 

man Cris, now everybody knows that we're brothers..haha 8)

I didn't know you were only 23. I figured you to be around 26-28 for some reason.

I definitely agree with this :wink:

 

I won't. I'm actually talking to a girl right now, and guess what...she's only 20...lol so yeah, i created this entire thread to discuss my frustrations about dating younger girls, but i'm learning that it truly doesn't matter what category she falls in as long as she's got what i'm looking for ya know. :wink: