Dating an African Man?

i liked your post - you sound like my fella......right down to winding me up cos i can't understand when he talks on the phone - I'm sure he says my name just to wind me up!!!

 

@ infiniti

I kinda understand what you're trying to say. I mean, i say so because i have lived in various countries and experienced many cultures; i've lived in Nigeria, the UK, Canada, Venezuela and US of course. And i've interacted with individuals of those countries so i know how they do stuff. Firstly, i was impressed by the customs anyway so i didnt find anything strange. A few things took me by surprise but they just a few things. But thats beside the point. But you should realise one thing, we as individuals are always at one point, bound to be shocked by the cultural differences between other people. But thats where tolerance and respect comes in. If you're dating someone, she should be able to respect your cultural differences if she truly loves you. Your accent and all of that shouldn't be an issue. I once dated a Venezuelan girl who could barely even say a word in English. But it wasnt an issue since i understood Spanish so we conversed in Spanish only. But i taught her English and a few words in Yoruba because i care and loved her for who she was.
About conversations, i dont see why this should be an issue anyway. i understand she would hear her name and wonder what's being said about her but if its constant, i would wonder about insecurities. I've had a few people like that too but i made it clear to them that i have no evil deeds whatsoever. My girl, who is latina, does not mind me speaking Yoruba at all. At first, she too used to ask me what i say but she doesnt anymore. We speak each others languages a lot. I've taught her a few things in Yoruba and Igbo too. She didnt have to teach me Spanish because i already know it soo thats even better for us. We each other's food and interact with so many cultural values and that includes families. Dont get the wrong impression that im trying to say we're the perfect couple because thats far from what im trying to tell you. Im only just saying that if there's tolerance and respect for each other, cultural values would be by the way.
However, i feel the same way as you in saying you feel its your responsibility to fend for your wife and kids. I believe in that too. Im not saying that values shouldnt under any circumstances be shared but i wouldnt love my wife to work too hard. Thats why i am there.
Getting married to a Westerner shouldnt be a surprise because lets face it, the world is a more and more global place everyday. People from different ends of the world meet and you never know the next step. Although i know your parents might prefer if you marry an African too. Even my father till today wants that. He once told me when im eligible, he would take me home and get me a wife. But i declined because im not gnna have him give me a woman i dont know and would more than likely not like. Besides, im not very familiar with the traditional culture very much since i only lived in Nigeria for five years so i didnt see the point. However, like you, i have siblings and cousins sho've married Westerners so i dont think they would have a heart attack if i married one myself.
I love your description of power in a relationship but i dont think im going to agree that it should not be equal. Everything in a relationship should be shared to make it work and power, depending on the description, should be no exception.
I hope i have not bored you out. Sorry if i did. Just looking out for a fellow Nigerian. :lol: :wink:

 

Much respect, LaydeezmanCris. I always enjoy talking to well traveled people, they really know a lot about the world we live in. So how come you traveled so much. I've traveled quite a bit myself.

As for my rant about power, I almost did not want to write it because it could be easily misunderstood. I don't really like a woman that says "yes sir" blah blah to me. It is actually pretty annoying. I really do like stubborn, independent and strong women. She will drive me crazy once in a while but I will love her even more for it. From what I know from your posts, Iffy's wiffey and girliekinduk seem to have this sort of "no nonsense" yet reasonable and respectable sort of personality. Anyway, by having a little more power, I meant... , for example: Let's say my girlfriend/wife and I find ourselves in a dangerous situation. Although she may want to step in being a strong personality herself, I will like to be able to tell her to let me handle it. So, I guess power may be a little misleading but you get the gist.

 

your rant bout power didn't bother me at all - as i said u reminded me of my fella!!

 

For someone who claims to have bad grammar, Infiniti, you sure do write very well.