Comparing yourself to others

hey guys.....basically...I tend to have a bad habit of consistently comparing myself to others and my desire to be the absolute best at any given thing is what propels this consistency. I simply have to be the best, and constantly compare my accomplishments and success in life to those of my friends, sometimes they dont even HAVE to be friends, and i'll find myself pin pointing their success and weighing them against mine to see which weighs more.

And recently one of my boys(cousin) began dating a girl i LIKED first, ofcourse i cant allow some blonde chick to tear a 18 year friendship, but this guy has always been one of my main competitors (in a good way). from the time we were youngins, i can recall racing each other around the house, and throughout high school we compared grades, and i always beat him..So im thinking i should just let him have the girl and let it go, or should i go for her just as well??..

If i dont go for her, i'll have to get a prettier girl because i will compare....

so my question is: How do you handle comparing yourself to others??

 

The first paragraph sounds a lot like me.. :lol: I too have this addiction:being too damn competitive. With me it started with me and my cousin, both similar ages, and family members comparing everything about us:from height, to sporting accomplishments. We were always trying to out do each other. Even now as an adult I struggle to shake of this competitive streak.In some ways its good, but sometimes me and my cousin get involved in the most trivial arguments. Personally I think its mostly down to the environment you are brought up though. Like if you have a lot of brothers and sisters you will tend to be more more competitive. And also I think age plays a major factor.I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm in my 20's. I think as you grow older you will definately be able to control this competitive streak better. I know I am able to contol my feelings better than when I was in my teens. How do you handle it? I say accept it as a process of growing older 8)

 

interestingly enough..

i was never consciously competitve with family members...

i used to be competitive with sports tho...

like trying to bench as much weight as someone stronger than me, or run the 40 just as fast as someone who was faster than me..

now.. i'm just being myself (lie)

from time to time, I look at pictures of LL Cool J or another ripped guy (like the Rock), and compare my body to theirs...

helps me set athletic goals, which keeps me lifting, running, and slowly tailoring my diet to reach my full physical potential (without roids anyway).

 

I once read a piece of advice given by an older woman: if you want to be truly happy, the #1 advice is never to compare yourself to others. I find it to be true. There's always someone with more money, a more advanced degree, a higher GPA, younger looking skin and whiter teeth. You might as well compare yourself to a poor invalid in a wheelchair and be happy that you have your legs.

And when it comes to family members I'm just happy for them and proud to be in their family.

 

very true mosk mosk....

i'm thankful that I can walk, look at women with functional eyes, and go to the bathroom, without the assistance of someone else..

and like you said, there will ALWAYS be someone who knows a bit more than you, hold a higher status, drive a more expensive car, etc, etc..

be happy being you

!!

 

That's actually important. I now have to wear glasses but I don't like them because they really make me look like a "sexy librarian"... so when I'm not wearing my glasses I can't really check men out and I can't see who's checking me out! Quite a bummer. :cry:

 

i wear prescription glasses too

my long distance vision is waning, but i'm still not clinically blind..

which is what i was referring to earlier..

we have to wear corrective lenses to see "clearer," but at least we aren't completely blind..

i was reminded of that when a blind man with a retractable stick, got onto my train a while ago...

be happy for what u got

 

[quote="Moskvichka I now have to wear glasses but I don't like them because they really make me look like a "sexy librarian"... so when I'm not wearing my glasses I can't really check men out and I can't see who's checking me out! Quite a bummer. :cry:[/quote]

I love my prescription sunglasses! They are especially good in Third World countries where women are not supposed to stare at the men. You can look at your want and nobody will know what you are looking at, lol.

 

for looking at whatever u want to, i recommend the mirrored shades..

i still get a kick out of seeing people with those on..

 

I'm extremely competitive, but only in sports. If i lose, i'll keep practicing and coming back for more until i eventually win. Men are natural competitors i guess.

 

Being competitve and comparing yourself to others (even family members) is fine if you can control it. But when it drives you to steal someone's girlfriend (especially a family member) thats not competitiveness, its jealously.

 

BMJ,
I think comparing ourselves to others is just part of being human. We're always going to "compare", even if it's not in a competitive way. Now when it drives you to the point of being OCD and always having to win...that's when you should step back and be like, "what the crap is my problem?" I'm a pianist...and while I was in school, I always felt like I was bottom of the totem pole amongst my colleagues....but I still earned that degree, dammit....and I played the hell of that Grand during my senior recital. But let's face it....there will always be somebody better than us, somebody smarter, somebody more good looking, somebody more talented, etc...but that doesn't mean we should take our own gifts/talents lightly. My point is....while we can do the best that we can, we're not always going to win - we can't.

And as far as you wondering whether or not you should go for this girl...if you really have feelings for her...and you care about her, you want to have a real realtionship with her...than by all means, YES!! Tell her how you feel. BUT, if you just want to go after this girl b/c you want to "boink" her...than, dude, let it go! Risking an 18+year friendship, is not worth a few hott minutes in the sack.

8)

 

Speaking of competitiveness. I was at the rec today playing a couple of games of pickup basketball, and there was a guy on the other team who was absolutely killing it. He was unstoppable. I couldn't even guard him lol. At the end of the game i asked him if he played college ball, and it turns out he's a shooting guard for our college team (i didn't recognize him at first). Make a long story short, i'm competitive to a tee, but suprchic is right. no matter how good we think we are at something, there will always be guys who are better. i'm just like you Blackmaster. i strive to be the best at everything i do, but i'm also not afraid to admit when another guy is just flat out better than i am. maybe it's not so bad if your cousin gets the blonde this time. 8)