chocolate hair vanilla care.

just your experience with raising a child (hair is concerned). It can go into a different direction because there maybe other issues to talk about not just hair....I hope Im expressing myself lucidly.

I think it is cool of them to say that hey we need help. also the fact that it takes a village to raise a child of any race.

 

:smt023


That's all I was basically saying. I've run into the very rare few white women (from my POV at least) that have children by black men and don't know or associate with any black people at all and I've wondered how that ever came to be. No black female or black male acquaintances with GFs, but became involved with a black man and had a child or children with him? And did not make any connections with any black people other than the man you had a child/children with the whole time involved with him? Just strange to me.

 

I hear ya. That would be weird. When I'm in a relationship, his friends/family are just as important to me as my own. I was in an IR relationship with a guy from Florida who had moved to my area to look after the affairs of his sister who was in a nursing home after suffering a stroke up here. He, literally, had no family here (his sister's daughter passed away 2 weeks after he moved here) and no friends when I met him. Even with that, I still managed to establish a relationship with his sister in Alabama even though I only saw her twice. We still text each other even though my relationship with her brother ended.

 

I think it's a little weird too. I know that some BW are sick to death of having their hair objectified by WW, though - in some ways I went through similar incidents of random people wanting to touch my hair when it was hip length, but not to the extent that they do. So I can see where some WW might be hesitant to ask about hair.

 

Yes. You get it. Exactly as it should be.

I'll even look at the same thing for black men involved with white women and have a child/children with them. How are you having a child/children with a white woman/women and do not associate with or be on friendly terms with white people? I've only ever seen one black guy like this and needless to say he had some issues.

 

You are a perfect example of why there should be no reason for any white woman to not have any connections with black people if she has a child with a black man. Your family more or less looked down on your choices of relationships and you had no real connections with your son's father or his family after your relationship, but you knew and associated/associate with black people all the same. No logical reason for that not to happen unless you have some type of issues regarding black people.

 

In all fairness, maybe the father's relatives live far far away such as with me and my fella. The closest relative is an 18 hour flight away
But I agree that having absolutely no BW or other BM friends is quite a feat!

 

That's why I've only pointed out not knowing or associating with any black people in general because I myself am one of those black male's whose close family members reside thousands of miles away.

 

Hah, maybe I'm weird, but most of my friends are black. I feel kind of out of place around a lot of white people. In fact, I always did even in my very monoracial home town. I'm the white chick that my black guy friends call when it's time for hair care. I know more about caring for their hair than they do sometimes, which kinda confuses me. But I just smh, pick it out, and tell them to stop doing stupid shit if they want to keep their hair long. I also try to avoid the super damaging options like perms and super tight cornrows unless they really want it. I've personally seen the effects of such things and it's not usually pretty after years of hair and scalp abuse.

 

A lot of times sisters refuse to help a WW with a BM's baby.

It's a LOT easier for a WM with a BW's baby to get help from BW.

 

how hard it is to get to know your child hair .. but nothing wrong to ask online

and any hair can be hard to deal with .. i been argue in the past with hairdresses about my hair with one long ago was telling me if i have perm my hair and i said no and did not believe me and keept saying i lie .. (i left from there as fast as i could lol)
even now when i go to a hairdresses i take my own product with me .. and never go to fix my hair there for a nigh out or whatever usually i look crap after they finish never understood my hair .. they see curls and try to put so much conditioner on my hair but i have very very soft hair already... i only leave the conditioner few seconds if more been destroy... only enough to open the ends also with fine hair can be destroy too easy ..

i think you can have hair that is hard to deal in every race
i think i will have more hard time deal with someone with straight hair rather with any other type of hair ..

 

When I think of a ww who has a mixed child and does not associate with bp I think of ww that went out had meaningless sex and it ended up pregnant which is scary. How are you supposed make sure a child knows both cultures if your not surrounding them with both.

But I wanted to comment to the child's relatives when it comes to hair. They don't always know either. I have children by 2 different bm. My x I never asked his mom cause I see what she used in her own hair and that was vaseline. She did braid my daughters hair a few times prior to me teaching myself to do it but they didn't look all that good. Then I had kids with my husband. His mom and sister ask me what products I use on my kids hair b/c they think it looks good and tell me how good of a job they think I do. My MIL (or SIL) can not braid and tells me how she had a hard time with her own daughters hair b/c it was different from her own (black and puerto rican). That's another thing biracial hair tends to be more of a challenge for ww b/c ww don't typically use the types of products nor or they use to combing curly hair and then braiding and all those sorts of things but biracial hair none the less is also challenging (though maybe not as challenging) for bw. Then I hear sometimes about how biracial women have a challenging time with their own children's hair with black men. Different hair textures and curl patters all bring on their unique set of hair maintenance that can be challenging for anyone.

 

yeah no doubt. you maybe better off going to a black salon BUT you maybe looking for trouble. there will be some cool people there but....you will be better off letting the dad take them..truth be told.

I hate to say it but yeah. the hair is different when the child is biracial. I think when they get older it will be easier to deal with.