Chemistry or Compatibility?

Which one of Chemistry or Compatibility do you consider most when it comes to dating and a relationship? Please do not simply say both, as we all know both are important, but if you had to choose one as in this sample survey is asking, which one matters the most.

 

Chemistry

 

Chemistry.

 

If you choose a relationship based primarily on (sexual)chemistry over compatibility, it will never work.

I'm sure there are women in prison with whom I have a high degree of sexual and physical chemistry, but then again I'd probably be afraid to fall asleep with the same women laying next to me in bed too.:smt087

Of course it's both, but you better have more in common than feeling the earth move whenever you both make love.

On the other hand, I could never choose a woman based on the fact that she checked off all the right boxes for a GF/wife.

If there's very little spark emotionally or physically, I'm going to fuck that relationship up, eventually.

Still, if I had to choose, being practical, I'd rather have the woman that was going to be the ideal mom to my kids, morally grounded, career oriented, emotionally stable, intelligent with a good sense of humor....and I'd try to fake the chemistry.lol

Ironically, at least for me, if a woman has all the attributes I listed, I'm going to be very attracted to her from jump, which can spark chemistry.

I have a type that I like, but I also have a somewhat 'broad' palette when it comes to women and know that no two females are sexy or attractive in exactly the same way.

If I feel like a women is generally attractive and she gets me, she has many of the qualities I listed above AND is sexually responsive and has a good sex drive,(I'm not the one initiating sex all the time!!), I can make it work.:smt029

 

Well stated and I agree

 

Chemistry

 

Factoring in compatibility as a whole, then sexual compatibility would also be a part of it. And I have to agree with the sex drive, I have been in relationships where I am the one who has to always initiate. I can't stand that crap.

 

Compatibility

Make up sex is fun, but if I had to choose I'll take regular sex without the conflict. If she insists otherwise then we will just be fuck buddies. Problem solved.

 

Lol

 

I think it is about compatibility because no one can really know that they are going to be in a relationship with that person. It doesn't mean that attraction is guaranteed. I wouldn't hold my breath for it to happen.

 

For me....there has to be some level of compatibility to have chemistry.

 

I tend to have drawn sexually to ladies who are compatible with me. I've had some sexual chemistry with some women who were good in the sack, but were basically drama queens. I made a decision years ago never to avoid such women.

 

I think you need both, but the chemistry must be there to ever get beyond the first date. While the chemistry can be there to get the couple moving along... It doesn't necessarily mean they're compatible. I think perfect examples are when two people date each other briefly, but one of both decide that it won't work for the long haul.

 

The women I tend to have chemistry with are usually beautiful messes. Great in bed, highly intelligent eye candy, wrapped around a gooey drama center. After a few weeks of that, I'm ready to chew my arm off to get out of that trap. I can't leave fast enough.

Comparability for the win. If she's cute, checks all of the boxes and we get along, the chemistry will not only grow, but will be long lasting. Both of my great, long lasting loves have been with women I didn't have much chemistry with but it grew and grew over time. Should have married one. Will hopefully marry the other.

 

Hmm that's pretty lucky it happened to grow...the chemistry that is... lol. I was always under the impression you either have it or you don't. You get butterflys or you don't. You feel the electricity or you don't. Marry her. Lol

 

Cosign
The girl I'm with now is a beautiful mix of the two but I think the compatability fosters the growth of the chemistry. Knowing that she has other amazing qualities outside of her looks makes her so much more desirable to me. Don't hurt that she has an ass so phat you can see it from the front lol

 

I think because men are so visually focused, we can have zero chemistry with a woman that we still find generally attractive.

However finding someone attractive is still the spark for most chemistry, which means if a man is compatible with a woman on paper, that couple can find a way to make it work even if there's no great emotional/sexual electricity between them.

I still say sex is the greatest bonding ritual in the world and if you fuck someone enough that you respect and like as a person, you eventually might find yourself loving that person.

Even if your aren't madly 'in love' with them.:neutral:


That pure romantic stuff where you feel something magical with your partner, I don't really know how deep most men get into that.

Like, I've only heard women say stuff like, 'I could tell he was the one after our first kiss.'

LOL. Huh??

I mean, I guess that's a real thing.

But for me as a man if I'm deep tonguing a woman and my dick isn't getting hard soon, that's my rough definition of lack of 'chemistry'.:smt050

We all have our type.
Once you know what kind that is, chemistry really should never be an issue.

 

Haha!! Well said and I agree.

People say it time and time again oh sex isn't everything. 'COME AGAIN'!? OF COURSE IT IS! If I wanted to just live with my best friend I would have. But yeah you certainly need it as a top priority and with someone you have mad 'Chemistry' with that should always come easy.

I think that's the thing right there. It's not in the touch it's in the kiss. If those wet tongues are tying and the coochie is drying. Uh uh it ain't gonna work. That's where the chemistry is felt i think.

Lust at first sight is all it is. Love is way deeper than just laying eyes upon someone. I call bullshit for anyone claiming to love someone at first glance. (With the exception of Tupac, i may have instantly fell head over heels at first sight hahaah)

It's funny how we differ though. With women being less visual. For me personally i think a great sense of humour outweighs any physical appearance. If i wasn't attracted to him but he made me laugh like i was dying, hell yeah it'd grow to be physically attracted.

Love live the chocolate goodness!!!!

 

It's much easier for me to find chemistry and good sex. Compatibility seems much more elusive.

 

That's really interesting. It's the opposite for me.

Definitely have to have both though. If it was only about compatibility, I would have stayed married. But to have the compatibility without the passion and sexual pull....just can't do it. I put in more than my time on that.

But...I have to have some level of compatibility to have the chemistry. Sortof like if a man is really hot and opens his mouth and he's an idiot...just can't do it. The more compatible, the more I'm interested...but there has to be the strong physical pull too.